the dark moments of our life will last only as long as necessary for God to accomplish His purpose in us. IT
i've had an awful lot of dark moments in my life, very dark moments. as i consider this i can see how God has used them to accomplish His purpose in my life. i can also see where He has carried me through times when i couldn't walk by myself.
i was rebellious as hell, i wanted no part of Him, and i was miserable as hell.
surrendering my heart, mind, body and soul to Him was THE best thing i have ever done. it's true, He is a jealous god, but when you give Him your whole heart He blows your sox off. praise God.
Friday, August 31, 2007
abundant life
i have read and/or been told a lot lately that God wants us to have this abundant life and i have been wondering what that means. it seems a lot of people think it means material things. i was surprised when i read a pastor saying he wanted a pool for his family. they prayed about it and God provided, but not after the pastor was ready to buy it on his charge card. whoa! it was second hand but still. a few months ago i wished i had a recliner, i don't know if i even prayed about it and within a week i had a recliner. whoa!
as i consider what i have been reading and what a friend has been telling me i wonder if i am limiting God. i am content should i be asking for more. i had to think about what i would even ask God for.
i am in the process of painting my apartment. it was something i had talked to God about saying it would be nice to have my apartment painted but i couldn't afford it. i didn't think i could do it myself but as i waited for the painter to paint the wall because of a plumbing problem i was impatient and tried it and found i could do it myself. it's almost finished at a cost of a couple hundred compared to the $1200 i was told it might cost.
i don't have a lot of material possessions but that's ok, desire for material possessions diminished after mission trips to costa rica. but i am abundantly blessed with contentment and joy in my relationship with God.
from something i read 'i truly believe that when people are face to face with the bare essentials that they are the happiest, with less to gripe over and less to worry about.'
as i consider what i have been reading and what a friend has been telling me i wonder if i am limiting God. i am content should i be asking for more. i had to think about what i would even ask God for.
i am in the process of painting my apartment. it was something i had talked to God about saying it would be nice to have my apartment painted but i couldn't afford it. i didn't think i could do it myself but as i waited for the painter to paint the wall because of a plumbing problem i was impatient and tried it and found i could do it myself. it's almost finished at a cost of a couple hundred compared to the $1200 i was told it might cost.
i don't have a lot of material possessions but that's ok, desire for material possessions diminished after mission trips to costa rica. but i am abundantly blessed with contentment and joy in my relationship with God.
from something i read 'i truly believe that when people are face to face with the bare essentials that they are the happiest, with less to gripe over and less to worry about.'
prayer
we're often like spoiled kids on christmas morning who really don't care if dad shows up as long as he's stacked the gifts we asked for under the tree.
is that what your prayer life is like?
prayer is about getting more OF God, not more FROM God. we pray to get to know Him better. it's relational - speaking with God as we would with a spouse or friend for the purpose of building our relationship. how long would you have a friend if it was always about you.
i just want to know Him better, to sense His presence, enjoy His company and hear His voice. the more i know Him, the more i am content, the more joy i have. the only way to experience lasting joy and contentment is through an intimate relationship with Jesus.
if you don't have contentment and joy start talking to Him. He is the source of all good things and He wants to bless you with abundant life.
is that what your prayer life is like?
prayer is about getting more OF God, not more FROM God. we pray to get to know Him better. it's relational - speaking with God as we would with a spouse or friend for the purpose of building our relationship. how long would you have a friend if it was always about you.
i just want to know Him better, to sense His presence, enjoy His company and hear His voice. the more i know Him, the more i am content, the more joy i have. the only way to experience lasting joy and contentment is through an intimate relationship with Jesus.
if you don't have contentment and joy start talking to Him. He is the source of all good things and He wants to bless you with abundant life.
devotionals
in touch is a monthly magazine with wonderful short stories and daily devotionals. you can view it on-line or get it delivered free. to view or subscribe go to www.intouch.org.
favourite scripture
mine is romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
a couple of weeks ago at bible study we each said our favourite scripture. when i said mine someone remarked that you don't say that to someone at a funeral. although i have thought this in my mind when at a funeral it isn't something i would say to the grieving person, although if you read the proceeding post you might find the grieving person saying it to you.
in this month's in touch magazine there's an article from augustine that says "imagine that God told you to write down every blessing you wanted Him to provide. when you completed the list, imagine further that God came to you and said i will give you everything you requested, on one condition, you'll never again hear My voice or sense My presence.
i read this and thought no way, there is nothing i want for myself that i would choose over a relationship with God. but then i thought of my unsaved family and as i cried and prayed i thought how i would give up everything for them, for their salvation, even to the point of death. as i thought of one death, mine, for the salvation of many, my family, i thought of Jesus. His sacrifice, His death, for you, for me, for all, one death for the salvation of many.
people have prayed for me, for healing, but i have never prayed this for myself. i have no idea if God plans to heal me or not. but if His purpose is to use me to bring my family to Himself then i consider that He is working for my good because i love Him, because i consider good that my family would be saved. in all things i pray His will be done.
what is your favourite scripture and what does it mean to you?
a couple of weeks ago at bible study we each said our favourite scripture. when i said mine someone remarked that you don't say that to someone at a funeral. although i have thought this in my mind when at a funeral it isn't something i would say to the grieving person, although if you read the proceeding post you might find the grieving person saying it to you.
in this month's in touch magazine there's an article from augustine that says "imagine that God told you to write down every blessing you wanted Him to provide. when you completed the list, imagine further that God came to you and said i will give you everything you requested, on one condition, you'll never again hear My voice or sense My presence.
i read this and thought no way, there is nothing i want for myself that i would choose over a relationship with God. but then i thought of my unsaved family and as i cried and prayed i thought how i would give up everything for them, for their salvation, even to the point of death. as i thought of one death, mine, for the salvation of many, my family, i thought of Jesus. His sacrifice, His death, for you, for me, for all, one death for the salvation of many.
people have prayed for me, for healing, but i have never prayed this for myself. i have no idea if God plans to heal me or not. but if His purpose is to use me to bring my family to Himself then i consider that He is working for my good because i love Him, because i consider good that my family would be saved. in all things i pray His will be done.
what is your favourite scripture and what does it mean to you?
Thursday, August 30, 2007
forgiveness
monday - international forgiveness day. i read an amazing article in In Touch magazine last month. it's an incredible story of forgiveness and how God uses people. it's 3 pages long and starts on page 26. it's shannon ethridge's story, how she became a christian when while driving she killed a woman riding a bicycle. the article is called love without limits.
shannon and gary (the dead woman's husband) both testify to the truth of Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to His purpose.
the link is http://www.intouch.org/atf/cf/%7B865500FE-874B-487B-A95C-C0B327D0A690%7D/JULY07mag.pdf
shannon and gary (the dead woman's husband) both testify to the truth of Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to His purpose.
the link is http://www.intouch.org/atf/cf/%7B865500FE-874B-487B-A95C-C0B327D0A690%7D/JULY07mag.pdf
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
my new job
not having any clear direction on where God is leading me i thought about going to cbc to study the bible. i prayed about it but didn't get an answer. i had checked it out on-line and decided to audit the courses as i thought it was going to be cheaper. when i went there this am i found out it was cheaper for one course only and any additional courses would be full price. not sure where my finances are i said i wanted to think about it.
when i left northview i had mentioned that maybe i would volunteer at sally ann. i had several appointments & stuff to do today and after leaving cbc i was headed to wal-mart and figured i would stop in at sally ann and get a job application, then carry on to wal-mart.
i had applied there a year ago but then got hired at northview. i told the receptionist that i had completed an application a year ago & i had been playing phone tag with the hr lady last year before getting hired at northview.
she called hr and they said to send me up & i got 'hired' on the spot. i said a quick prayer in the elevator on the way up. they had one spot to fill in the kitchen on thursdays so that's me. sylvia, the hr lady, asked if i was interested in volunteering in an admin role helping her occasionally but i said no.
it all happened so fast but i felt good about it, and kinda nervous at the same time, like it was out of my comfort zone. and although i thought i was going to go to cbc i guess it's not where God wanted me cuz classes were on thursdays. it's only 4 1/2 hours one day a week but that's ok.
and for 2 months i can volunteer with samaritan's purse.
i feel like a pusher - world vision child sponsorship, samaritan's purse operation christmas child, alpha.
i had to laugh when i viewed my blog after i'd written this post - Philipians 2:13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose. this does seem to be His purpose.
when i left northview i had mentioned that maybe i would volunteer at sally ann. i had several appointments & stuff to do today and after leaving cbc i was headed to wal-mart and figured i would stop in at sally ann and get a job application, then carry on to wal-mart.
i had applied there a year ago but then got hired at northview. i told the receptionist that i had completed an application a year ago & i had been playing phone tag with the hr lady last year before getting hired at northview.
she called hr and they said to send me up & i got 'hired' on the spot. i said a quick prayer in the elevator on the way up. they had one spot to fill in the kitchen on thursdays so that's me. sylvia, the hr lady, asked if i was interested in volunteering in an admin role helping her occasionally but i said no.
it all happened so fast but i felt good about it, and kinda nervous at the same time, like it was out of my comfort zone. and although i thought i was going to go to cbc i guess it's not where God wanted me cuz classes were on thursdays. it's only 4 1/2 hours one day a week but that's ok.
and for 2 months i can volunteer with samaritan's purse.
i feel like a pusher - world vision child sponsorship, samaritan's purse operation christmas child, alpha.
i had to laugh when i viewed my blog after i'd written this post - Philipians 2:13 for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose. this does seem to be His purpose.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
it's winter
omg it's august 26 and i've got my fleece liner on inside my jacket and the heater on in my car. what am i going to do in 4 months?
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
employment
at first i thought i wanted to be a hairdresser so i took a course in hairdressing in high school. after working a short time in a salon as a hairdresser's assistant i decided it wasn't for me. i couldn't stand on my feet for long periods of time.
then i worked as a plan checker working on hanna barbera cartoons for canawest films. it was piece work and i worked my tail off and made a huge amount of money for a 17 year old (for anyone). it was fun but short lived.
i applied as a general office clerk, doing bank deposits, opening & distributing mail, etc. i wanted to be more so i took various accounting, bookkeeping, secretarial courses etc. so for the last 40 years i have done secretarial, adminstrative type work, because i could.
last tuesday at our staff meeting the pastors were talking about having certain jobs because it was something we could do but was not necessarily what we were gifted at or had a passion for. i did administrative type work because i could do it but it is the second lowest in my spiritual gifts.
when i went to live in costa rica i remember telling someone who asked what i would do for work if i came back. i said i could always be a waitress. not sure why i said that, i've never worked as a waitress. i don't think i could remember anyone's order.
i'm going to a new bible study in abby and each week we sit outside and have a bbq. i pick up the dirty dishes and serve coffee. someone asked what i was going to do for work and i said i had been in to pizza hut and they were looking for help. one fellow said he owned a pizza hut and he would hire me (he was kidding).
i hadn't thought about it, picking up the dishes and serving coffee, i just did it. i volunteer at northview and it's always in the kitchen. i have volunteered at ugm and it was in the kitchen and one time a bunch from new heights served easter lunch and i was joyfully picking up garbage.
right now when i think of employment the only thing i can think of is volunteering in the kitchen with salvation army, which is where i had applied the week before i got the job with northview. the only catch is i need a job that gives me an income.
as i consider this as a possibility i can see how it fits in with all of my spiritual gifts. when i think of what i have actually worked at all my life that kind of work doesn't interest me in the least.
until i get it figured out, or God leads me somewhere, i am going to a meeting thursday with samaritan's purse to see how i can get involved with operation christmas child.
wouldn't it be awesome if we could all work at what we are passionate about and what God has gifted us for.
then i worked as a plan checker working on hanna barbera cartoons for canawest films. it was piece work and i worked my tail off and made a huge amount of money for a 17 year old (for anyone). it was fun but short lived.
i applied as a general office clerk, doing bank deposits, opening & distributing mail, etc. i wanted to be more so i took various accounting, bookkeeping, secretarial courses etc. so for the last 40 years i have done secretarial, adminstrative type work, because i could.
last tuesday at our staff meeting the pastors were talking about having certain jobs because it was something we could do but was not necessarily what we were gifted at or had a passion for. i did administrative type work because i could do it but it is the second lowest in my spiritual gifts.
when i went to live in costa rica i remember telling someone who asked what i would do for work if i came back. i said i could always be a waitress. not sure why i said that, i've never worked as a waitress. i don't think i could remember anyone's order.
i'm going to a new bible study in abby and each week we sit outside and have a bbq. i pick up the dirty dishes and serve coffee. someone asked what i was going to do for work and i said i had been in to pizza hut and they were looking for help. one fellow said he owned a pizza hut and he would hire me (he was kidding).
i hadn't thought about it, picking up the dishes and serving coffee, i just did it. i volunteer at northview and it's always in the kitchen. i have volunteered at ugm and it was in the kitchen and one time a bunch from new heights served easter lunch and i was joyfully picking up garbage.
right now when i think of employment the only thing i can think of is volunteering in the kitchen with salvation army, which is where i had applied the week before i got the job with northview. the only catch is i need a job that gives me an income.
as i consider this as a possibility i can see how it fits in with all of my spiritual gifts. when i think of what i have actually worked at all my life that kind of work doesn't interest me in the least.
until i get it figured out, or God leads me somewhere, i am going to a meeting thursday with samaritan's purse to see how i can get involved with operation christmas child.
wouldn't it be awesome if we could all work at what we are passionate about and what God has gifted us for.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
dreams
something has been happening in my life for the past few months that lead me to believe that God might be planning on blessing me with a husband.
i have watched as God has orchestrated events in my life lately and thought of all He has done since I came to know Him. the more i know Him the more i am aware of Him, His small quiet voice, His leading in my life, answers to prayers, etc.
knowing that my job at northview was not going to last i have been asking God to give me a dream or a vision of what He has in store for me.
may 21 i had a dream that my boss gave me a raise. 1 1/2 months later he did.
may 22 i asked Him if He ever gave me a dream to give me the same dream 3 times so i would know it was from Him.
i've talked to different people about how when they asked God for a husband they gave Him specifics. i had asked God for a husband 7 or 8 years ago and again 4 years ago but since then God has become the desire of my heart. so feeling that this might be where God is leading me i told Him he absolutely must be a godly man after God's own heart.
i have been content being single for a few years now. i think things started changing when my best friend of 38 years died in may. all of a sudden i didn't have that intimate human relationship. although i can talk to God and He does talk back, it's not in the same way as a best girlfriend does. i was telling God that i missed her, that i missed that deep, intimate human relationship and i asked for someone new.
june 23 i was talking to God and asked Him what He wanted and He said "I want to bless you."
july 4 i started having more dreams, intimate, spiritual dreams.
july 14 caught(?)susy's bouquet
july 21 dreamt i was at my own wedding - dreamt this for the 3rd time
july 24 had a dream and saw a man this time, i know who he is and he is a very godly man
i have since listened to women say when they met their husbands they didn't even like them for whatever reason, they weren't their type or whatever, that they knew them for awhile, then one day their eyes were opened and they saw them differently.
with all the dreams that i have had and God telling me He wants to bless me i wonder if one day this man and i will look at each other and see ourselves differently. i look at him now and know that he is the man in my dreams but he is not the man of my dreams. i just don't have a man of my dreams.
i have watched as God has orchestrated events in my life lately and thought of all He has done since I came to know Him. the more i know Him the more i am aware of Him, His small quiet voice, His leading in my life, answers to prayers, etc.
knowing that my job at northview was not going to last i have been asking God to give me a dream or a vision of what He has in store for me.
may 21 i had a dream that my boss gave me a raise. 1 1/2 months later he did.
may 22 i asked Him if He ever gave me a dream to give me the same dream 3 times so i would know it was from Him.
i've talked to different people about how when they asked God for a husband they gave Him specifics. i had asked God for a husband 7 or 8 years ago and again 4 years ago but since then God has become the desire of my heart. so feeling that this might be where God is leading me i told Him he absolutely must be a godly man after God's own heart.
i have been content being single for a few years now. i think things started changing when my best friend of 38 years died in may. all of a sudden i didn't have that intimate human relationship. although i can talk to God and He does talk back, it's not in the same way as a best girlfriend does. i was telling God that i missed her, that i missed that deep, intimate human relationship and i asked for someone new.
june 23 i was talking to God and asked Him what He wanted and He said "I want to bless you."
july 4 i started having more dreams, intimate, spiritual dreams.
july 14 caught(?)susy's bouquet
july 21 dreamt i was at my own wedding - dreamt this for the 3rd time
july 24 had a dream and saw a man this time, i know who he is and he is a very godly man
i have since listened to women say when they met their husbands they didn't even like them for whatever reason, they weren't their type or whatever, that they knew them for awhile, then one day their eyes were opened and they saw them differently.
with all the dreams that i have had and God telling me He wants to bless me i wonder if one day this man and i will look at each other and see ourselves differently. i look at him now and know that he is the man in my dreams but he is not the man of my dreams. i just don't have a man of my dreams.
unemployed
except for a few months after having my daughter and for a few months after having moved out to mission from vancouver, and a few months after coming back from costa rica i have worked since i was 15.
tomorrow is my last day of work. i like working, i have always worked, and this new phase of my life that i am entering into unemployed is kinda scary. i have no idea what i will do with myself.
when i quit my job in 2004 to go live in costa rica i knew i was following the call that God had put on my heart. now i haven't a clue. i'm not scared or worried though because i know that He is in control and that He will provide for my needs.
tomorrow is my last day of work. i like working, i have always worked, and this new phase of my life that i am entering into unemployed is kinda scary. i have no idea what i will do with myself.
when i quit my job in 2004 to go live in costa rica i knew i was following the call that God had put on my heart. now i haven't a clue. i'm not scared or worried though because i know that He is in control and that He will provide for my needs.
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