bocas

i wasn't sure about coming here. in sept i met a young couple from nelson, actually she has family in mission, and they came here for their 3 days out. they said it was absolutely gorgeous.

i had no reservation and no idea about what i would find when i got here. i read something about this place saying that the locals were descendents of slaves. and i recalled that the young couple mentioned that almost everyone smoked pot. i thought it might be similar to puerto viejo in cr. when i visited there with the team the first year i felt an evil, ominous presence there. it was very uncomfortable. i didn't decide right away to come here because i felt quite uneasy about it. i certainly didn't want to go to the beach by myself for 3 days if i was going to feel that way. after i talked to God about it i no longer felt the uneasiness and decided to come. it's been an adventure and i'm looking forward to laying on the beach.

international relations day

i am in bocas del toro for my 3 days out of the country. i took a bus from san jose at 9.00 this am and checked into a hotel on this little island in the caribbean at 6.15.

while talking to other bus passengers while waiting in line at the border i found out that we were all going to basically to the same place and so we shared a ride to get to the dock, about one hour drive, (cost $6 us each) to take the boat here.

6 of us in the car. the driver, from panama, obviously, a girl from switzerland, another from germany, a man from costa rica and another from australia. the foreigners (?) were all in their early 20's and travelling throughout central america, and all more fluent in spanish than i who have lived here for a year.

it's been an adventure getting here and i'm looking forward to tomorrow when i can see this place in daylight.

i had to laugh when the aussie exclaimed in a strong accent 'he can't see s--t' as we drove down gravel roads, going like a bat out of hell, passing big trucks that were causing huge dust storms. basically driving blind. i told the group they probably didn't want to hear about my dream last night where i was in a vehicle that was broadsided right where i was sitting.

leaving costa rica

there is a new law here that non-ticos must leave the country for 3 days every 3 months if you don't have a visa. if you don't and you are stopped by immigration (and we stop at immigration all the time on the bus and i have been checked several times) they will deport you and you cannot return to costa rica for 10 years.

just in case i am ever able to return here i want to make sure that i won't be refused entry so i have to leave the country again. not sure but expect i will go to panama again but only just over the border. going to panama city takes a very long time and is very tiring.

news from cr

right now i have a ticket to return to canada dec 29th. after that i have no idea what i will do or where i will live. i have no job and no home in canada right now. i don't know if i will ever be back. i do not feel i will be returning with the team in march. but i have no idea of anything i will do. only God knows and He hasn't told me anything that He would have me do. i guess i will return to mission and look for an apartment or basement suite and look for a job. i won't return to my job as secretary at the police office. i always enjoyed serving coffee at church - maybe i will become a waitress. who knows??

sylvia isn't married yet but her baby is due in febrero. yasar, her novio, is a few years younger than her but he is very nice.

at times i have wondered what i have accomplished here and most times i feel that i haven't done anything. i have come into a closer relationship with God. and maybe that's why He allowed me to come. i have wondered if i have followed my own heart and He has taken care of me while allowing me to do so. or if i followed the desire He gave me. i don't know. i know i love the people here, i love the country. but i do feel that my time here is up for now. which is why He told me oct 2nd last year that i was only here for one year. thinking of that now i do feel that He just allowed me to come because it was the desire in my heart. maybe He will give me a desire for something/somewhere else. or maybe He will give me something to do here and i can return.

sylvio has never returned and no one has heard any more of what happened to him. i can only guess that he stayed in nicaragua because he is wanted by the police here.

there is a grand new church for pastor henry. it's been under construction for several months and a friend that works at the parada said they will have a big fiesta to celebrate it's opening in febrero.

the church in amparo celebrated it's 5th year last weekend. there were a lot of people and we served food and coffee after service.

i don't know if you know these people in amparo or not but sharo, marta watson's daughter, is expecting a baby in 6 months. lydia, santo's wife, had a baby 3 weeks ago. not sure if gerry is the father of the baby of the girl he was walking hand in hand with last week in los chiles.

this is part of an email i sent to lisette who was here with her family 4 years ago as missionaries. thought i would share it for those who have been here on missions trips before and would know these people.

omg i'm gonna freeze

just checked the cnn weather for abbotsford. 4 degrees. and it's not winter yet. omg i was freezing here in san jose yesterday and it was maybe 20. but it was very windy so it might have only been 15. freaking cold anyway.

35 - 38 degrees with almost 100% humidity is stinking hot. but i've become accustomed to it. i will never get accustomed to cold weather. hate it now and always have.

san jose today is 26 high and 18 low. there is no weather recording for up near the nicaraguan border where i live. i just go by the thermostat i have.

cold spell

last night i woke up so cold i had to put another shirt on and this am i put a sweater on to come to san jose and i was still cold. right now in the internet i'm freezing. i need the sun. we've had a few cold nights lately. i checked the thermostat when i got up this am. 25 degrees.

i wonder how i am going to handle the canadian weather. i was cold the whole time i was there in april/may.

25 degrees is cold when it's normally 35 or higher. i guess you could compare it to being in canada and it's hot at 25 so when it dips to 15 you're really cold.

i have become so acclimatized i will need my own apartment where i can crank the heat up to keep from freezing.

when God speaks - listen

when God tells you something you should listen. He knows everything and has a reason for everything He says. like telling me "but only for one year" when i was thanking him for bringing me home to costa rica oct 2nd 2004.

the family calling the puppy canda bothered me. today different family members were speaking in whispered voices telling other people how i reacted to the puppys name.

and as if to taunt me the 2 year that the mom cares for was saying it repeatedly over and over about 50 times while the dad just laughed.

the more he said it the more upset i got. it was time to clean up and pack up. i thought about changing my ticket i was so upset. but then i thought of how much i knew i would miss the boys when i returned to canada so i didn't want to rush that.

i talked to dany about it. the man was homeless, lived under a bridge, was nica and had a long record. i suggested that the man might have been looking for shelter. maybe not. but he was still a human life. 2 dogs took 2 hours ripping this man apart while police watched. the police said they couldn't shoot the dogs cuz they might have hit the man, yet the video camera that caught the action showed the dogs walked away a couple of times.

dany told his parents they had to change the name and it's now canelo (cinnamon). dany was upset that i was upset.

i felt like cinderella - when the fairy godmother told her to have fun but to be sure to be home by midnight. and things started changing when she stayed longer than she should have.

today i came to san jose for the weekend.

costa rica still feels like home and i would still want to live here but i need to listen when God speaks.

pregnant teens

the 16 year old daughter of a lady that helped cooked for the team 2 years ago is now pregnant. and no husband. so now her single mother will be raising her and her child.

gerry, a 15 year boy from los chiles, was walking home yesterday am walking hand in hand with a very pregnant young girl. i didn't ask him if he was the father but i got the feeling he was.

i read in the paper today that the president of costa rica is meeting with other latin american presidents to find ways of combating aids. they are challenging the catholic churches stance against the use of condoms.

gee maybe they could also suggest it might cut down on teen pregnancy. sex education isn't working.

ok so i was kidding about the girls 4'' skirt at the dance, it was really about 8''. however there was a young girl, about 15 or 16, that came to a soccer game and she honest to God was only wearing a skirt that was 4'' wide. she couldn't get into the back of the truck and had to sit in front. she couldn't sit down without her boyfriends shirt to sit on and another to hold across the front of her lap. she drew stares from everyone everywhere, including a little boy about 5 who just couldn't believe his eyes as they followed her across the field.

it truly gives new meaning to the short shorts, except they weren't shorts.

last night, as almost every night, they have girls, young women, parading in front of the camera in underwear that can only be described as g-strings, to see who is the most beautiful. the newspapers are full of their pictures. men don't need to buy porn magazines.

it's heartbreaking.

angry

i have told the boys before that they are racists but they say they aren't.

about a month ago 2 rottweilers, over a period of almost 2 hours, killed a homeless nicaraguan as he, along with 2 others, were trying to enter a private property in costa rica. it was caught on camera and showed police who stood watching.

this has escalated the tension between the 2 countries which is already running high due to the conflict along the border at the san juan river.

last night the boys told me they were getting another dog. i asked them why, they hadn't taken care of the last one they had. they forgot to water it, feed it, bathe it, brush it. i felt sorry for it. it was lousy with ants and fleas and the subsquent millions of bites from them.

they said they were getting a rottweiler to kill nicas. it was almost spoken in unison. i got angry. again i told them were racists. again they denied. they wanted to name it natividad, the victim of the rottweiler attack. i was happy to see that the puppy looks more like a teddy bear than a rotty. it was so filthy. the mom had been killed 5 days earlier and the pups had been without food.

we hadn't thought of a name for it last night. we had named the last one smeagle but patricio, the dad, kept calling it oso so i didn't figure we should name this one cuz he'd change it anyway.

this am dany told me they had decided on a name. canda - the last name of the victim.

how do you get through to people who make racists remarks then deny that they are? i find it hard to believe that they think they aren't. any racists i have known in the past have almost been glad to point out that they are.

my inner child

Your Inner Child Is Sad

You're a very sensitive soul. You haven't grown that thick skin that most adults have. Easily hurt, you tend to retreat to your comfort zone. You don't let many people in - unless you've trusted them for a long time.

How Is Your Inner Child?

ok this is close. i'm a mush but the sadness is only ever a temporary thing. when i left the family in april to return to canada with the team i was very sad and crying. after a very short while talking to God i was then crying tears of joy. He really is very close to the broken hearted. whatever i have or have not done over the past year i have come into a closer, more intimate relationship with God and whatever happens i know He will never leave me broken hearted or sad.