yesterday coming home from surrey i was in the fast lane doing 100 (?) kmh. all of a sudden traffic slowed to a dead crawl. i thought there might be an accident up ahead. all of a sudden my truck lost power. as i pulled to the shoulder it powered back up so i got back into the driving lane and started to go again. then it started making other noises and i pulled right over on to the shoulder again thinking i might have a flat tire. did a tire check but they were fine. traffic was now picking up speed and i wondered how i would get back into the flow of traffic. a space opened up and i got in and then another space opened up and i got over to the slow lane to get to an exit and off the freeway. as i picked up speed, not much more than a crawl, the noise went away and i made it off the freeway. by the time i got home everything seemed fine.
i had been in a hurry and when i saw the traffic stopped i wondered if i might be late for my granddaughters dance benefit.
as i wondered what would have happened if my truck had lost power while i was going 100 kmh in heavy traffic i saw God's hand in it. there was no accident. nothing that i could see that would have caused the traffic to back up and stop.
give thanks in everything - you may or may not see God's hand in it but He really does cause all things good to happen for those who love Him.
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Who are you living to serve and dying to meet?
A couple weeks ago, on Mothers Day, a friend of mine, who had managed to survive a hard regimen of cancer treatment only to discover the disease still at large in his body, asked his family, “Would you all like me to quietly slip out the back door or hang in there and keep trying to beat this?”
The question took them by surprise and though no one had an immediate answer for him, one of his daughters went home and wrote the following: “You are the most disciplined, diligent, creative man I have ever known. If you can apply the same strength, enthusiasm, and perseverance in fighting this that you've demonstrated your whole life, I know you can do it. However, I also want you to know that whenever you hear our Lord calling your name from the back door, go with him, because that will be the same moment that I'll change my mind and want you to be with him instead.”
Exactly one week later, Clark heard Jesus calling and slipped out the back door to join him.
It seemed the right call for a man whose primary gift in life had been to serve. Servants usually go in and out back doors, unnoticed by the guests and out of the way of the daily traffic in the house. For Clark, it was a choice to give up his will and retreat into Jesus' hands, but by “slipping out” he didn't mean sneaking out. He only meant to go quietly, unnoticed, and with little fanfare, much like he lived life.
Clark has lived his life around back doors. It has just been his way of doing things. I wonder if even his consideration to “stay and fight” was not for him, but to stay, if required, to fight for his life for the sake of the lives he loves. As if he were saying, Can I rest, or do you need me to stay for your sakes? That's the way a servant thinks. Always thinking of someone else.
Paul, the apostle, had a similar dilemma toward the end of his life. “I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this … I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith.” (Philippians 1:23-25)
What a philosophy of life! You live to serve others, you die to be with Christ. And between the two, well … it's a toss-up. So live today thinking about who you are living to serve … and dying to meet!
by John Fischer - my utmost
The question took them by surprise and though no one had an immediate answer for him, one of his daughters went home and wrote the following: “You are the most disciplined, diligent, creative man I have ever known. If you can apply the same strength, enthusiasm, and perseverance in fighting this that you've demonstrated your whole life, I know you can do it. However, I also want you to know that whenever you hear our Lord calling your name from the back door, go with him, because that will be the same moment that I'll change my mind and want you to be with him instead.”
Exactly one week later, Clark heard Jesus calling and slipped out the back door to join him.
It seemed the right call for a man whose primary gift in life had been to serve. Servants usually go in and out back doors, unnoticed by the guests and out of the way of the daily traffic in the house. For Clark, it was a choice to give up his will and retreat into Jesus' hands, but by “slipping out” he didn't mean sneaking out. He only meant to go quietly, unnoticed, and with little fanfare, much like he lived life.
Clark has lived his life around back doors. It has just been his way of doing things. I wonder if even his consideration to “stay and fight” was not for him, but to stay, if required, to fight for his life for the sake of the lives he loves. As if he were saying, Can I rest, or do you need me to stay for your sakes? That's the way a servant thinks. Always thinking of someone else.
Paul, the apostle, had a similar dilemma toward the end of his life. “I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this … I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith.” (Philippians 1:23-25)
What a philosophy of life! You live to serve others, you die to be with Christ. And between the two, well … it's a toss-up. So live today thinking about who you are living to serve … and dying to meet!
by John Fischer - my utmost
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
URGENT - CANADIAN Listeners - if you like to listen to Praise Radio
It has come to our attention that the CRTC is considering an application by Aboriginal Voices Radio to use the frequency of 106.3FM in Vancouver. If this application is approved, PRAISE 106.5FM expects that there will be significant interference with our broadcast into the Vancouver area, as 106.3FM is the frequency immediately adjacent to 106.5FM.
The CRTC is accepting letters and comments from the Canadian public. We want to continue to broadcast clear messages of hope and encouragement into the lower mainland and value your assistance in doing so. All letters and email correspondence must be received by the CRTC by Monday, June 5, 2006.
A copy of the letter must be sent to the applicant (with proof of this to CRTC), Aboriginal Voices Radio
by fax (1-416-868-0673), by electronic mail (gbuck@mccarthy.ca) or by mail at the following address:
Aboriginal Voices Radio Inc.
C/O Grand Buchanan
Box 48, Suite 4700
Toronto, Dominion Bank Tower
Toronto, Ontario
M5K 1E6
THEN.....
You can send a letter/email notification of concern to CRTC in one of three ways:
1. By using the Broadcasting Intervention/Comments Form by clicking on the following link and go to Notice # pb-2006-65: More Info (go to praise1065.com for link)
2. By mail to CRTC, Ottawa, Ontario, K1A 0N2
3. By fax to 1-819-994-0218
Please address letters to the CRTC:
Ms. Diane Rheaume
Secretary General
Canadian Radio-Television & Telecommunications Commission
Ottawa, Ontario
K1A 0N2
Re: Broadcasting Public Notice CTC 2006-65: Item 1 - Aboriginal Voices Radio Inc.
Application No. 2006-0572-7 for the use of frequency 106.3 MHz (channel 292C)
Suggested comments to include in your letter are:
-I make this comment pursuant to Broadcasting Public Notice CRTC 2006-65
-I am a Canadian resident who listens to PRAISE 106.5 KWPZ-FM
-I am opposed to the application by Aboriginal Voices Radio Inc . (AVR) for the use of frequency 106.3FM (channel 292C) as it may interfere with my ability to listen to PRAISE 106.5 FWPZ-FM.
Please number all of your paragraphs. If submitting your document by fax or email,
include the line *** End of document *** after the last paragraph.
Please Note: All information that you provide to CRTC, including your personal information, such as your full name, e-mail address, postal/street address, telephone and facsimile number(s), and any other personal information you provide, becomes part of a publicly accessible file and will be posted on the CRTC's website.
The CRTC is accepting letters and comments from the Canadian public. We want to continue to broadcast clear messages of hope and encouragement into the lower mainland and value your assistance in doing so. All letters and email correspondence must be received by the CRTC by Monday, June 5, 2006.
A copy of the letter must be sent to the applicant (with proof of this to CRTC), Aboriginal Voices Radio
by fax (1-416-868-0673), by electronic mail (gbuck@mccarthy.ca) or by mail at the following address:
Aboriginal Voices Radio Inc.
C/O Grand Buchanan
Box 48, Suite 4700
Toronto, Dominion Bank Tower
Toronto, Ontario
M5K 1E6
THEN.....
You can send a letter/email notification of concern to CRTC in one of three ways:
1. By using the Broadcasting Intervention/Comments Form by clicking on the following link and go to Notice # pb-2006-65: More Info (go to praise1065.com for link)
2. By mail to CRTC, Ottawa, Ontario, K1A 0N2
3. By fax to 1-819-994-0218
Please address letters to the CRTC:
Ms. Diane Rheaume
Secretary General
Canadian Radio-Television & Telecommunications Commission
Ottawa, Ontario
K1A 0N2
Re: Broadcasting Public Notice CTC 2006-65: Item 1 - Aboriginal Voices Radio Inc.
Application No. 2006-0572-7 for the use of frequency 106.3 MHz (channel 292C)
Suggested comments to include in your letter are:
-I make this comment pursuant to Broadcasting Public Notice CRTC 2006-65
-I am a Canadian resident who listens to PRAISE 106.5 KWPZ-FM
-I am opposed to the application by Aboriginal Voices Radio Inc . (AVR) for the use of frequency 106.3FM (channel 292C) as it may interfere with my ability to listen to PRAISE 106.5 FWPZ-FM.
Please number all of your paragraphs. If submitting your document by fax or email,
include the line *** End of document *** after the last paragraph.
Please Note: All information that you provide to CRTC, including your personal information, such as your full name, e-mail address, postal/street address, telephone and facsimile number(s), and any other personal information you provide, becomes part of a publicly accessible file and will be posted on the CRTC's website.
Friday, May 26, 2006
world cup soccer
does anyone have satellite tv and able to view the world cup soccer fixtures (games) that they would be able to record them for me?
specifically costa rica has a friendly match with ukraine 5/28 and another with czech republic 5/30. because soccer isn't very popular in canada or the us they don't broadcast the games on our local channels.
i'm not sure yet about the actual world cup games. i sure hope they at least are televised.
costa rica plays in the opening game against germany 6/9, 6/15 and 6/20 and in case i have to work can anyone record them for me???
specifically costa rica has a friendly match with ukraine 5/28 and another with czech republic 5/30. because soccer isn't very popular in canada or the us they don't broadcast the games on our local channels.
i'm not sure yet about the actual world cup games. i sure hope they at least are televised.
costa rica plays in the opening game against germany 6/9, 6/15 and 6/20 and in case i have to work can anyone record them for me???
Thursday, May 25, 2006
pray for our enemies
God tells us to pray for our enemies. last night at a new bible study i attended someone did. for osama bin laden. he asked what would happen if bush got ahold of him. and he asked what would happen if Jesus got ahold of him. wow what a difference. i hadn't thought of it on such a grand scale but just imagine the possibilities. bush - death or segregated confinement. Jesus - conversion. saul was supernaturally transformed and look at how God used him.
who would've thought. not me. i'm glad someone did last night. and he does it regularly. what a concept.
who would've thought. not me. i'm glad someone did last night. and he does it regularly. what a concept.
death
When you know Christ and you are filled with the hope and knowledge of eternal life,
the worst part about death is that it is not your own.
You have to stay behind in the void while someone you love moves on to a greater joy. by John Fischer
the worst part about death is that it is not your own.
You have to stay behind in the void while someone you love moves on to a greater joy. by John Fischer
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
depending on God or our own abilities
when we depend on ourselves, on our own ability to do something, God steps in to show us we need to depend on Him. it's scary at times. we may not see His hand in it, we just have to trust that He's in control, He knows the plans He has for us, and He will give us what we need when we need it. we get cocky and full of ourselves, then God humbles us so we will go to Him. i can definitely tell the difference when the Holy Spirit is working through me.
Working Versus Striving
TGIF Today God Is First, by Os Hillman
So he said to me, "This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the Lord Almighty." - Zechariah 4:6
Your greatest obstacle in fulfilling God's purposes in your life is the skills you have acquired to perform well in your work life. One of the great paradoxes in Scripture relates to our need to depend on the Lord; yet at the same time, we're instructed to use the talents and abilities God gives us to accomplish the work He gives us to do. It has been one of the most difficult principles to live out. How do we know that what we achieve is by the power of the Holy Spirit in our life versus our own abilities, and is there a difference? (OH YEAH - BIG DIFFERENCE) When we reach a level of excellence and performance in our fields, it actually becomes an obstacle to seeing God's power manifest in our work. What we naturally do well becomes the object of our trust. When this happens, God retreats. You see, God allows us to develop skills, but these must be continually yielded to God's Spirit. There will be times when God will use these skills to accomplish His purposes. There will be other times that God will not use any of our skills just to ensure that we know it is by His power that we can do anything.
It is the oxymoron of all oxymorons for Christian workplace believers. Learning not to act until God shows you to act is a sign of maturity in God. "Do not lean on the natural skill which you have been given. Let God manifest Himself in what you are doing," said a mentor who has learned this balance of skill and walking with God. "You must almost restrain from doing those things you know you are prone to do and actually go against them."
I was learning this lesson recently when I was asked to participate in a large event that would give great exposure and much needed financial increase to my ministry. It made all the sense in the world to participate. Then I prayed with a friend and asked the Lord His mind on it. The Lord showed us this was not His plan for me. I declined the invitation.
Ask God to teach you what it means to walk according to the power of the Holy Spirit in your business life. Develop a listening ear to the small voice inside that wants to direct your efforts by His Spirit.
Working Versus Striving
TGIF Today God Is First, by Os Hillman
So he said to me, "This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: 'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the Lord Almighty." - Zechariah 4:6
Your greatest obstacle in fulfilling God's purposes in your life is the skills you have acquired to perform well in your work life. One of the great paradoxes in Scripture relates to our need to depend on the Lord; yet at the same time, we're instructed to use the talents and abilities God gives us to accomplish the work He gives us to do. It has been one of the most difficult principles to live out. How do we know that what we achieve is by the power of the Holy Spirit in our life versus our own abilities, and is there a difference? (OH YEAH - BIG DIFFERENCE) When we reach a level of excellence and performance in our fields, it actually becomes an obstacle to seeing God's power manifest in our work. What we naturally do well becomes the object of our trust. When this happens, God retreats. You see, God allows us to develop skills, but these must be continually yielded to God's Spirit. There will be times when God will use these skills to accomplish His purposes. There will be other times that God will not use any of our skills just to ensure that we know it is by His power that we can do anything.
It is the oxymoron of all oxymorons for Christian workplace believers. Learning not to act until God shows you to act is a sign of maturity in God. "Do not lean on the natural skill which you have been given. Let God manifest Himself in what you are doing," said a mentor who has learned this balance of skill and walking with God. "You must almost restrain from doing those things you know you are prone to do and actually go against them."
I was learning this lesson recently when I was asked to participate in a large event that would give great exposure and much needed financial increase to my ministry. It made all the sense in the world to participate. Then I prayed with a friend and asked the Lord His mind on it. The Lord showed us this was not His plan for me. I declined the invitation.
Ask God to teach you what it means to walk according to the power of the Holy Spirit in your business life. Develop a listening ear to the small voice inside that wants to direct your efforts by His Spirit.
Friday, May 12, 2006
it's more than a job interview
after deciding what to wear and ironing a pair of black pants i ended up wearing a plum pant suit with a yellow sleeveless top. and brown shoes, the only pair i own.
the interview is at 10:30 and i'm ready to go at 10:00. with time on my hands i decide to moisturize my feet and discover that the hem is down on one pant leg. panic! i don't own a needle and thread and started dumping cases of cosmetics and jewelry looking for safety pins.
heading out the door at 10:17 estimating it's going to take me 10 minutes to get to the interview. by the 4th red light i decided to stop sweating it and just accept that every one of the 9 lights were all going to be red and i might just be late.
reading waking the dead. we are in a battle for our very lives and we need to put on the full armour of God each and every single morning. our freedom, our life, depends on it. we accept this and that, all the messages played in our heads, that we are unworthy, or unloved, or useless, or whatever. however we've been wounded there are messages we've replayed over and over again, just accepting them as truth. God doesn't mess with our heads. the enemy does that.
ephesians 6:10-20 in Jesus' name take authority over the enemy, claim the victory. but do it daily. before i got out of bed this morning i claimed the victory, i told satan to go to hell. i could feel the power of the Holy Spirit. i felt empowered that i could do almost anything.
but that's never the end of it. however satan does it he and his minions are going to mess with our heads wreaking havoc wherever and whenever. we have to choose not to buy into all the crap.
if i hadn't decided to moisturize my feet i would never have noticed the hem was down on one pant leg. and usually i moisturize before i put my clothes on. i thank God that i did things in reverse order today.
i don't think people recognize God in things. we say He is. we know He is. but do we recognize Him? so if they don't recognize God how can they recognize the enemy.
so i wonder
- why did i decide to change clothes after ironing something else?
- why did i decide to moisturize after getting dressed instead of before?
- why did i hit all red lights (except one)
was God testing me? or was satan trying to thwart my attempt to get a job?
don't know if i got the job or not. but i have peace about it. and for as much as i would have had stress before about going for a job interview i was surprised that i had a great sleep and wasn't stressed at all.
and i know who to thank for that. peace does not come from the enemy.
the interview is at 10:30 and i'm ready to go at 10:00. with time on my hands i decide to moisturize my feet and discover that the hem is down on one pant leg. panic! i don't own a needle and thread and started dumping cases of cosmetics and jewelry looking for safety pins.
heading out the door at 10:17 estimating it's going to take me 10 minutes to get to the interview. by the 4th red light i decided to stop sweating it and just accept that every one of the 9 lights were all going to be red and i might just be late.
reading waking the dead. we are in a battle for our very lives and we need to put on the full armour of God each and every single morning. our freedom, our life, depends on it. we accept this and that, all the messages played in our heads, that we are unworthy, or unloved, or useless, or whatever. however we've been wounded there are messages we've replayed over and over again, just accepting them as truth. God doesn't mess with our heads. the enemy does that.
ephesians 6:10-20 in Jesus' name take authority over the enemy, claim the victory. but do it daily. before i got out of bed this morning i claimed the victory, i told satan to go to hell. i could feel the power of the Holy Spirit. i felt empowered that i could do almost anything.
but that's never the end of it. however satan does it he and his minions are going to mess with our heads wreaking havoc wherever and whenever. we have to choose not to buy into all the crap.
if i hadn't decided to moisturize my feet i would never have noticed the hem was down on one pant leg. and usually i moisturize before i put my clothes on. i thank God that i did things in reverse order today.
i don't think people recognize God in things. we say He is. we know He is. but do we recognize Him? so if they don't recognize God how can they recognize the enemy.
so i wonder
- why did i decide to change clothes after ironing something else?
- why did i decide to moisturize after getting dressed instead of before?
- why did i hit all red lights (except one)
was God testing me? or was satan trying to thwart my attempt to get a job?
don't know if i got the job or not. but i have peace about it. and for as much as i would have had stress before about going for a job interview i was surprised that i had a great sleep and wasn't stressed at all.
and i know who to thank for that. peace does not come from the enemy.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
madd
We have a FAQ about this at:
http://www.madd.org/madd_programs/0,1056,1218,00.html
The petition circulating via e-mail accompanied with the poem titled "I Went
to a Party Mom" did not originate with nor is it endorsed by MADD.
While the petition you received probably began with good intentions, MADD did
not initiate the campaign. Some variations of the e-mail use language that we
feel to be inappropriate. Moreover, the e-mail asked you to act in a manner
that does little to advance the fight against drunk driving.
http://www.madd.org/madd_programs/0,1056,1218,00.html
The petition circulating via e-mail accompanied with the poem titled "I Went
to a Party Mom" did not originate with nor is it endorsed by MADD.
While the petition you received probably began with good intentions, MADD did
not initiate the campaign. Some variations of the e-mail use language that we
feel to be inappropriate. Moreover, the e-mail asked you to act in a manner
that does little to advance the fight against drunk driving.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
playing by the rules
Proposed US immigration reforms prompt nationwide protests. ...would make it a felony to live in the United States without proper documentation and would force illegal immigrants to return to their home countries before applying for citizenship. It would criminalize anyone found to be assisting or employing an illegal immigrant and proposed building a fence along the United States’ southern border. ... it’s not fair because we have a system to get into the country. There are people who line up every day in front of the embassy in Mexico City, embassies in Africa, in Europe and around the world, to apply for visas or for permission to come to school here, and they’re playing by the rules.”
friends wanted to sponsor 2 of the boys from costa rica to come here for a few weeks. i have stood in line for hours trying to help them get passports and/or visas. just to come for a visit. jose, who had a good job, a letter from his employer, a letter saying he was being sponsored to come here, paid his money to get a visa, had his interview, waited expectantly to get his visa, direct to canada so as to save money from having to apply for a us visa required which is required just to stop in the us waiting to change planes to come to canada. he played by the rules only to be told that he was denied because he was not married and did not own property.
i was angry. why didn't the application forms say don't waste your money cuz if you're single and not a property owner the answer's no.
what are the rules? if you have enough money you can bend them or break them? and if you don't have any money, well that's just too bad?
sometimes playing by the rules is a joke.
friends wanted to sponsor 2 of the boys from costa rica to come here for a few weeks. i have stood in line for hours trying to help them get passports and/or visas. just to come for a visit. jose, who had a good job, a letter from his employer, a letter saying he was being sponsored to come here, paid his money to get a visa, had his interview, waited expectantly to get his visa, direct to canada so as to save money from having to apply for a us visa required which is required just to stop in the us waiting to change planes to come to canada. he played by the rules only to be told that he was denied because he was not married and did not own property.
i was angry. why didn't the application forms say don't waste your money cuz if you're single and not a property owner the answer's no.
what are the rules? if you have enough money you can bend them or break them? and if you don't have any money, well that's just too bad?
sometimes playing by the rules is a joke.
soccer
i speak english, it's my mother tongue, but when it comes to watching soccer - i think spanish. i went to a soccer game almost every sunday for 15 months. i was the waterboy (?) for the team, my name was on the roster, the only other person allowed on the field besides the players. depending on the distance we had to travel to go to a game we could be gone 10 hours. the boys never brought food with them and most of them never had money to buy food. a lot of boys never went to games because they didn't have the money to pay for the ride in the truck. i brought water, cups, cookies, candies, gum. i guess you could say i was the team mom. i loved every minute of it and really miss it, the games for sure but especially the players.
so of course when costa rica plays germany july 9th in the opening game of the world cup i'll be wearing my team jersey and cheering them on.
so of course when costa rica plays germany july 9th in the opening game of the world cup i'll be wearing my team jersey and cheering them on.
one of many differences between the sexes
i'm watching a soccer game between two teams i don't know. two french teams i've never seen before and the commentating is in french, which i don't understand. how do i decide which team to root for? how would women choose which team? how would men choose which team? well i can't speak for the men but i'm pretty sure, most of the women, if not all, would vote for the ones in the prettiest uniform. which of course i am doing. but it will be whoever scores the prettiest goals that i will hope to win.
of course if you know the teams colour isn't the deciding factor.
of course if you know the teams colour isn't the deciding factor.
Friday, May 05, 2006
waking the dead by john eldredge
our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. it is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. we ask ourselves who am i to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? actually, who are you not to be? you are a child of God. your playing small doesn't serve the world. there's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. we were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us... and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. (nelson mandela)
when i first read this quote, i thought, no, that's not true. we don't fear our glory. we fear we are not glorious at all. we fear that at bottom, we are going to be revealed as ... disappointments. mandela is just trying to make a nice speech, like a sermon, to buoy us up for a day or two. but as i thought about it more, i realized we do fear our glory. we fear even heading in this direction because for one thing, it seems prideful. now pride is a bad thing, to be sure, but it's not prideful to embrace the truth that you bear the image of God. paul says it brings glory to God. we walk in humility because we know it is a glory bestowed. it reflects something of the Lord's glory.
the deeper reason we fear our own glory is that once we let others see it, they will have seen the truest us, and that is nakedness indeed. we can repent of our sin. we can work on our 'issues' but there is nothing to be 'done' about our glory. it's so naked. it's just there - the truest us. it is an awkward thing to shimmer when everyone else around you is not, to walk in your glory with an unveiled face when everyone else is veiling his. for a woman to be truly feminine and beautiful is to invite suspicion, jealousy, misunderstanding. a friend confided in me 'when you walk into a room, every woman looks at you to see - are you prettier than they are? are you a threat?
and that is why living from your glory is the only loving thing to do. you cannot love another person from a false self. you cannot love another while you are still hiding. how can you help them to freedom while you remain captive? you cannot love another unless you offer her your heart. it takes courage to live from your heart. my friend jenny said just the other day 'i desperately want to be who i am. i don't want the glory that i marvel at in others anymore. i want to be that glory which God set in me.
finally, our deepest fear of all... we will need to live from it. to admit we do have a new heart and a glory from God, to begin to let it be unveiled and embrace it as true - that means the next thing God will do is ask us to live from it. come out of the boat. take the throne. be what he meant us to be. and that feels risky.. really risky. but it is also exciting. it is coming fully alive. my friend morgan declared. it's a risk worth taking. (waking the dead by john eldredge)
i can read this now without crying but when i first read this this afternoon, wow it was a flood of tears.
i don't have a lot of friends. a few women friends, only a couple of men friends, husbands of friends. for most of my life i have been treated with suspicion, jealousy, misunderstanding. treated by other women as a threat. i am not comfortable with most men because for most of my life they wanted something from me. and it was not friendship.
what is my glory? my joy? i was once told i should temper that because most people didn't have it.
when i first read this quote, i thought, no, that's not true. we don't fear our glory. we fear we are not glorious at all. we fear that at bottom, we are going to be revealed as ... disappointments. mandela is just trying to make a nice speech, like a sermon, to buoy us up for a day or two. but as i thought about it more, i realized we do fear our glory. we fear even heading in this direction because for one thing, it seems prideful. now pride is a bad thing, to be sure, but it's not prideful to embrace the truth that you bear the image of God. paul says it brings glory to God. we walk in humility because we know it is a glory bestowed. it reflects something of the Lord's glory.
the deeper reason we fear our own glory is that once we let others see it, they will have seen the truest us, and that is nakedness indeed. we can repent of our sin. we can work on our 'issues' but there is nothing to be 'done' about our glory. it's so naked. it's just there - the truest us. it is an awkward thing to shimmer when everyone else around you is not, to walk in your glory with an unveiled face when everyone else is veiling his. for a woman to be truly feminine and beautiful is to invite suspicion, jealousy, misunderstanding. a friend confided in me 'when you walk into a room, every woman looks at you to see - are you prettier than they are? are you a threat?
and that is why living from your glory is the only loving thing to do. you cannot love another person from a false self. you cannot love another while you are still hiding. how can you help them to freedom while you remain captive? you cannot love another unless you offer her your heart. it takes courage to live from your heart. my friend jenny said just the other day 'i desperately want to be who i am. i don't want the glory that i marvel at in others anymore. i want to be that glory which God set in me.
finally, our deepest fear of all... we will need to live from it. to admit we do have a new heart and a glory from God, to begin to let it be unveiled and embrace it as true - that means the next thing God will do is ask us to live from it. come out of the boat. take the throne. be what he meant us to be. and that feels risky.. really risky. but it is also exciting. it is coming fully alive. my friend morgan declared. it's a risk worth taking. (waking the dead by john eldredge)
i can read this now without crying but when i first read this this afternoon, wow it was a flood of tears.
i don't have a lot of friends. a few women friends, only a couple of men friends, husbands of friends. for most of my life i have been treated with suspicion, jealousy, misunderstanding. treated by other women as a threat. i am not comfortable with most men because for most of my life they wanted something from me. and it was not friendship.
what is my glory? my joy? i was once told i should temper that because most people didn't have it.
job hunting
sucks! a very long time ago i couldn't have imagined working at the same place for 26 years. i had a great job in vancouver for 4 1/2 years when i decided to move out to the valley. the 3 months it took me to find a job and the first few months after my daughter was born were pretty well the only time i was ever unemployed.
there's an advantage to working at the same place for a long period of time. seniority, you eventually get first choice of vacation times and you get more of them and you're not always starting at the base pay rate.
the disadvantage is you don't learn too many new things. sure i learned new things within the office where i worked but we had programs specific to us, that most of the business community don't use. granted every business may have programs specific to them but the general business software that most companies use was not the one that we used or that i'm familiar with. that makes it tough when advertised jobs say proficiency required in… and you don’t have it. it tends to limit your prospects somewhat.
someone finally called and asked what rate of pay i wanted and if i would provide a resume. i had no idea what to say for the rate of pay and it's taken 2 weeks to get a reference letter. i wasn't sure if i had priced myself out of a job or not.
i prayed before i took the reference letter in that if this was where God wanted me that He would open the door and if not then i asked Him to close the door. when i took the letter in my previous enthusiasm at being called about the job in the first place was dampened by the darkness of the office.
i like bright natural light. previously i had my own office with large windows on the south side of the building. to walk into this office with only dim artificial lighting was so depressing. i left hoping they wouldn't call me.
i have searched different websites that offer tips on job hunting. one says not to indicate your age. on my first resume i listed my last 2 jobs. 30 1/2 years of working tells a story - i'm no spring chicken. so i deleted my last job. and that makes me sound 4 1/2 years younger than an old hen. ouch!
there's an advantage to working at the same place for a long period of time. seniority, you eventually get first choice of vacation times and you get more of them and you're not always starting at the base pay rate.
the disadvantage is you don't learn too many new things. sure i learned new things within the office where i worked but we had programs specific to us, that most of the business community don't use. granted every business may have programs specific to them but the general business software that most companies use was not the one that we used or that i'm familiar with. that makes it tough when advertised jobs say proficiency required in… and you don’t have it. it tends to limit your prospects somewhat.
someone finally called and asked what rate of pay i wanted and if i would provide a resume. i had no idea what to say for the rate of pay and it's taken 2 weeks to get a reference letter. i wasn't sure if i had priced myself out of a job or not.
i prayed before i took the reference letter in that if this was where God wanted me that He would open the door and if not then i asked Him to close the door. when i took the letter in my previous enthusiasm at being called about the job in the first place was dampened by the darkness of the office.
i like bright natural light. previously i had my own office with large windows on the south side of the building. to walk into this office with only dim artificial lighting was so depressing. i left hoping they wouldn't call me.
i have searched different websites that offer tips on job hunting. one says not to indicate your age. on my first resume i listed my last 2 jobs. 30 1/2 years of working tells a story - i'm no spring chicken. so i deleted my last job. and that makes me sound 4 1/2 years younger than an old hen. ouch!
when God seems far away
One of the great mysteries of God is His ways. Some of His ways almost appear to bring us into the most difficult places, as if He were indifferent to our circumstances. It would appear that He is turning His head from our sorrows. These events in our lives have a particular objective to perform for us. That objective is to bring us to the end of ourselves that we might discover the treasure of darkness. "Yet when I hoped for good, evil came; when I looked for light, then came darkness" (Job 30:26).
When we are taken into these dark periods, we begin to see light that we never knew existed. Our sensitivities become heightened and our ability to see through spiritual eyes is illuminated. Unless we are taken into these times, our souls never develop any depth of character. We do not gain wisdom, only knowledge. Knowledge is gained through understanding; wisdom is gained through the experience of darkness.
After we go through these periods, we discover that God was, in fact, with us throughout the entire time. It does not feel or appear that He is there when we are in the midst of the dark periods. However, He is there walking with us. He has told us countless times that He will never leave us. However, when we are in those dark periods, it does not feel like He is there because He does not rescue us from the circumstances. He does this for our benefit in order that we might become more like Jesus. Jesus learned obedience from the things He suffered (see Heb. 5:8). What does that say about how you and I will learn obedience? Embrace the dark times and gain the wisdom that God intends for you from these times. (ptwG)
When we are taken into these dark periods, we begin to see light that we never knew existed. Our sensitivities become heightened and our ability to see through spiritual eyes is illuminated. Unless we are taken into these times, our souls never develop any depth of character. We do not gain wisdom, only knowledge. Knowledge is gained through understanding; wisdom is gained through the experience of darkness.
After we go through these periods, we discover that God was, in fact, with us throughout the entire time. It does not feel or appear that He is there when we are in the midst of the dark periods. However, He is there walking with us. He has told us countless times that He will never leave us. However, when we are in those dark periods, it does not feel like He is there because He does not rescue us from the circumstances. He does this for our benefit in order that we might become more like Jesus. Jesus learned obedience from the things He suffered (see Heb. 5:8). What does that say about how you and I will learn obedience? Embrace the dark times and gain the wisdom that God intends for you from these times. (ptwG)
footprints
sometimes the worst thing that happens to us can open the door for the best that God has to give us. (odb) boy don't i know that.
footprints - looking back over my life i can see so many times when God carried me. except for one they were all before i became a christian. years of my life being diagnosed with clinical depression. telling the doctor i couldn't have depression because my life was good for the most part. externally my circumstances were pretty good. i had a husband, a family, a home, a job, good health. how could someone have the supposed good life and not be content. after years of psychiatrists, who never helped, and anti-depressants, that always zoned me out, my 3rd husband called it quits. needless to say that was about the worst thing that happened to me. i had been in tailspins before but nothing compared to that. i couldn't work, eat, sleep - for months. God kept my heart beating and the air going in and out of my lungs.
after 8 years alone God gave me the best that He had to offer. Himself.
if you've been there you'll know how you'll say and do anything if God would only answer your prayers. and you'll be thankful for unanswered prayers.
God does answer our prayers, in His time, in His way and in all things for the good of those who love Him.
footprints - looking back over my life i can see so many times when God carried me. except for one they were all before i became a christian. years of my life being diagnosed with clinical depression. telling the doctor i couldn't have depression because my life was good for the most part. externally my circumstances were pretty good. i had a husband, a family, a home, a job, good health. how could someone have the supposed good life and not be content. after years of psychiatrists, who never helped, and anti-depressants, that always zoned me out, my 3rd husband called it quits. needless to say that was about the worst thing that happened to me. i had been in tailspins before but nothing compared to that. i couldn't work, eat, sleep - for months. God kept my heart beating and the air going in and out of my lungs.
after 8 years alone God gave me the best that He had to offer. Himself.
if you've been there you'll know how you'll say and do anything if God would only answer your prayers. and you'll be thankful for unanswered prayers.
God does answer our prayers, in His time, in His way and in all things for the good of those who love Him.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
People come into your life for a reason...
a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.. They may seem like a godsend and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!
LIFETIMEME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
i'm sure you all have read this before somewhere. i just wanted to share it again.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season!
LIFETIMEME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
i'm sure you all have read this before somewhere. i just wanted to share it again.
happenings in guatemala
the first morning i woke up in guatemala i felt an ominous presence surrounding me. i had to pray against it so it didn't consume me. when i prayed it left. the enemy knows we are weak but he can't stand against the awesome power of God.
one morning i woke up and my bed had moved - 6 inches at an angle away from the wall. the weird thing was that the mattress had not moved, it was still in the same position as the night before, parallel to the bed. i wondered if there had been an earthquake but nothing else was, and none of the other team members had anything, out of the ordinary.
one morning i woke up and my bed had moved - 6 inches at an angle away from the wall. the weird thing was that the mattress had not moved, it was still in the same position as the night before, parallel to the bed. i wondered if there had been an earthquake but nothing else was, and none of the other team members had anything, out of the ordinary.
a world at war
watched war of the worlds recently. when it was over i thanked God that i did not live in an area of a world at war. it was a continuous thought though that followed that we all live in a world at war. it's a daily battle for our hearts and minds. God has given us the bible to teach us. the wisdom we need is found in these pages. and yet we live our lives for ourselves, for our pleasure. we twist scripture to ease our conscience when we rebel against God's truth. we forsake our eternal joy for our present happiness. we assuage our conscience by hardening our hearts against the truths contained in the bible. the enemy will use whatever means to cause us to fall away from our intimate relationship with God. ephesians 6:13 paul says to put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes… the day of evil is here, it assaults us daily and we need to be ready in full armor to defend our hearts and minds, our very lives, against the evil one.
the angels are at war on our behalf. when daniel asked God for deliverance he waited 3 weeks. when the angel finally showed up 3 weeks later he apologized saying he had been in battle with the enemy and finally had to ask michael to help him. if the angels need help in their struggles with the enemy how much harder is it for us. daniel 10
Jesus is called our Saviour. He went to the cross to save us. His sacrifice was for our eternal salvation. but what about the here and now. we need to go to Him each day to help us in our fight against the enemy. we can't fight these battles on our own. the enemy surrounds us and attacks from every side. he seduces us with things that we derive pleasure from so that we're not even aware they are from the enemy. he comes at us at all hours of the day or night.
when we wake up feeling hopeless and in despair where do you think that's coming from? when you haven't even got out of bed the enemy is attacking you. whenever we're feeling alone and lonely where is that coming from? we're never alone, we're never unloved. the enemy would have us believe all kinds of lies.
we really do need to take every thought captive to Christ and lay every burden at the foot of the cross. He is the consummate lover, parent, He is there, He is waiting for us, to love us, embrace us, protect us, to provide and care for us.
in a world at war He is our only hope.
the angels are at war on our behalf. when daniel asked God for deliverance he waited 3 weeks. when the angel finally showed up 3 weeks later he apologized saying he had been in battle with the enemy and finally had to ask michael to help him. if the angels need help in their struggles with the enemy how much harder is it for us. daniel 10
Jesus is called our Saviour. He went to the cross to save us. His sacrifice was for our eternal salvation. but what about the here and now. we need to go to Him each day to help us in our fight against the enemy. we can't fight these battles on our own. the enemy surrounds us and attacks from every side. he seduces us with things that we derive pleasure from so that we're not even aware they are from the enemy. he comes at us at all hours of the day or night.
when we wake up feeling hopeless and in despair where do you think that's coming from? when you haven't even got out of bed the enemy is attacking you. whenever we're feeling alone and lonely where is that coming from? we're never alone, we're never unloved. the enemy would have us believe all kinds of lies.
we really do need to take every thought captive to Christ and lay every burden at the foot of the cross. He is the consummate lover, parent, He is there, He is waiting for us, to love us, embrace us, protect us, to provide and care for us.
in a world at war He is our only hope.
Monday, May 01, 2006
3 years ago in costa rica...
susan passed me a note in church saying that God had called me to costa rica not to be a servant but to be a prayer warrior. while we were riding in a truck God put something on my heart that i didn't understand at the time but it was crushing and painful and i didn't want to do it. i thought maybe it related to our trip there. it didn't. then another time i thought maybe it related to another event in someone else's life. it didn't. maybe it was for today. i can only pray that God's heart is revealed.
faith
Faith that bears fruit is faith that is born from experience with a living God. It is faith that says, "I don't know where the next check is coming from. All I know is that God told me to do this and trust Him for the next step." That is faith that moves mountains and moves God's heart. God rarely allows His servant to see beyond the next faith step. However, those who are willing to take the first step and leave the outcome to Him see His works. (prime time with God)
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