Giving thanks in all circumstances

Talking to a friend last night made me realize I was feeling sorry for myself. I am so blessed, I know I am, people tell me they want what I have, and my friend said it was the assurance I have knowing, without a doubt, how very much I am loved by my God and Saviour Jesus Christ. I have such great joy in this knowledge and am always smiling.

I had been focussing on the fact that I have been alone for 20 years and prior to that married a few times to alcoholic men who left me for other women. I am estranged from my daughter and granddaughter, my Mom passed away last year and I've never been close to my brother and sister and since becoming a christan we're even further apart. My darling grandsons are soon getting to the age where they want to hang out with their friends and not their grandmother, which is of course a natural progression.

I have never had close friends because most of the women I had trusted in my life betrayed me, one with my last husband. I had one best friend who died 4 years ago. We had been friends for 38 years and I have missed her.

In talking to my friend last night I said I think the reason I have such love in my life is because He is my only source of love. She said she wished she didn't have so many family members and that I was blessed to have just me and God. I know my grandsons love me and I am thankful for that.

I was feeling sorry for myself thinking that there were 1,000 people at this man's memorial and there would maybe be 10 at mine. I don't know why that should bother me because if they're at my memorial that means I'm with Jesus.

The bible says to give thanks in all circumstances and for the past week I haven't been doing that. Until last night when I thanked God for loving me so much. When I sing that song 'be my everything' He really is my everything and I am so blessed.

Mourning

A month ago a family was devastated when the husband/father was killed in a head on car accident. The wife has been blogging her journey since that day and it breaks my heart as she pours out her pain on paper. And I ask God why not me. She has four young children to care for and raise without her husband. Her grief is overwhelming. Her pain almost too much for her to bear. And yet You are walking with her every day Lord. I experienced grief 20 years ago and the pain is healed, my children are grown, nobody needs me any more. I know what it's like to think you can't go on without that person, the incredible, agonizing heartache. I met her the day she buried her husband and I can't help but cry for her loss. When I first read her story I wondered why not me instead. Why take a young man from his family who needs him, who loves him, who wants him. I am so ready to be with Jesus and my family doesn't need me any more.

I'm sure everyone who knows this family has been asking God the same question, why? People ask God all the time why. When my second baby died I asked God why. Why does He allow suffering? It's a question people ask all the time. I can only say that He didn't keep His own Son from suffering. God loves us so much and He is concerned about our ultimate destiny that He may use suffering to draw us closer to Him.

As I read her journey I weep at the depth of God's love for her as He leads her through each day. I know she can't see it now but God heals all wounds. People say that time heals but it's God that heals and thankfully she knows God and even through her pain is trusting Him.

God heals the brokenhearted when we trust in Him. God says blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted. I can read His comfort in her words.