Talking to a friend last night made me realize I was feeling sorry for myself. I am so blessed, I know I am, people tell me they want what I have, and my friend said it was the assurance I have knowing, without a doubt, how very much I am loved by my God and Saviour Jesus Christ. I have such great joy in this knowledge and am always smiling.
I had been focussing on the fact that I have been alone for 20 years and prior to that married a few times to alcoholic men who left me for other women. I am estranged from my daughter and granddaughter, my Mom passed away last year and I've never been close to my brother and sister and since becoming a christan we're even further apart. My darling grandsons are soon getting to the age where they want to hang out with their friends and not their grandmother, which is of course a natural progression.
I have never had close friends because most of the women I had trusted in my life betrayed me, one with my last husband. I had one best friend who died 4 years ago. We had been friends for 38 years and I have missed her.
In talking to my friend last night I said I think the reason I have such love in my life is because He is my only source of love. She said she wished she didn't have so many family members and that I was blessed to have just me and God. I know my grandsons love me and I am thankful for that.
I was feeling sorry for myself thinking that there were 1,000 people at this man's memorial and there would maybe be 10 at mine. I don't know why that should bother me because if they're at my memorial that means I'm with Jesus.
The bible says to give thanks in all circumstances and for the past week I haven't been doing that. Until last night when I thanked God for loving me so much. When I sing that song 'be my everything' He really is my everything and I am so blessed.
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