the honeymoon's over

at times i have felt like cinderella, work, work, work. except there's no prince charming in this story. my joy at having a family to take care of has at times made me feel that i was being taken advantage of. now that summer vacation is here it's next to impossible to find time alone or peace and quiet in a house with 6 boys. their older sisters have been here for christmas so it's been pretty busy and noisy around the house. having lived alone for 13 years it's been hard to get used to. patri and eilyn are both older and patri did all the kitchen duties and eilyn did all the laundry chores and with 11 people in the house there are a lot of both. what had made me feel like i was just a servant is in fact the culture here. girls do everything and boys do very little, almost nothing. i don't know how much we are to learn from or teach another culture but in my house we always shared chores. as well the bible tells us that if we want to eat we have to work. i tell ya - the girls really like this scripture. i'm not so sure about the boys but jonny got up after dinner 2 nights ago and did all the dishes. chico works hard labourering, almost all day every day, dany teaches math 2 or 3 times a night when school is in. the rest of the time life is really pretty easy.

i had decided i needed to have my own place. i wouldn't have to cook and clean for 9 people and feel like a servant and i would have peace and quiet to spend more time with God. my soul was in turmoil - wanting more of God but finding no peace. i have struggled with moving out and living on my own and have found a house to rent. but after the joy of christmas eve and realizing that it's a cultural thing to have all the women do all the work i wasn't sure that that was the right thing to do either. for as much as i need more time to spend with God i really didn't want to leave 'my family'.

as everything i prayed about it and as usual i was led to read something that would give me the answer. it was basically that solitude was selfish. solitude without service is selfish.

for now i am content to stay where i am. making dinner last night i once again felt like i was taking care of my family.

january things will change. patricio will be back at work and jose will start university again.

and as i consider scripture and telling the boys what it says i am reminded that Jesus came to be a servant.