guatemala

it sounded exciting to go and at first i thought God might be opening a new mission field but don't feel that anymore. don't know what He has in store but do feel He has more for me to do here. July is a long way off though. He always tells me what He wants me to do but in my impatience i try to rush ahead of Him. i should know better because every time He proves that His timing is way better than mine.

the refri

it must be a God thing that the new (used) one didn't work, the guy wanted 80,000 col. they told the guy that brings old refri's from the us that it didn't work and he agreed that they didn't have to pay for it. we got a guy to come to the house to fix it and it only cost 7k, about $21. the door shelves didn't have fronts on them so they made bars using aluminum from the old tv antenna.

property for sale

in amparo, with a house, about 5 acres. 6 millones, in cdn about $5,000. and it's contiguous to the airstrip, my garden. the owner called to me as i was walking home to tell me about it. it is very tempting but if i'm only here for a year???

dany

IS GOING TO SAPRISSA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

saprissa just happens to be the boys favourite soccer team.

yesterday they phoned the house to ask him to come to training camp. i sat down and cried at the thought of him not being here. i love all of them but dany is my baby. jose said it is for 45 days and then saprissa will choose 23 of the boys to join saprissa.

you should've seen the happy faces last night. and the phone was busy all night, either calling to tell people or people that already knew calling to congratulate him.

friday i am going to go with dany and we are going to live at marco's house just south of san pedro. jose said they will put him in school but he doesn't get paid anything to be in training.

i don't know how many boys it's been pared down to but when we went in december for tryouts there were thousands of boys from all over cr.

the family has been praying for this for dany, not only because it has been his dream, but because they said he can then help support the family.

policia

got stopped by a cop last night on my way home from the internet. i was here til 10:00 (8:00 mission time). he asked me several questions, then asked for my passport. thoughts of crawling under the barbed wire into nicaragua crossed my mind as he was questioning me but he was just curious cuz almost no one is on the street that late because they all get up so early here.

fox

there was a noise in mimi's bedroom and i thought it was the puppy. dany went to get the puppy but it turned out to be a fox. not sure how it got in though cuz the window is pretty high. he came out for the machete but the fox was gone when he went back in.

we get all kinds of critters in the house. we get these things that are like the scarabs in the 'mummy' or indiana jones movies. they fly and crawl around.

last week there was a spider in my room and dany went to kill it. he came out and apologized that he missed getting the 'world's biggest spider'. i missed seeing that one but just knowing it was there i sat down in the kitchen and cried and prayed. i couldn't go back in my room but as i prayed God gave me the courage and peace to go to bed that night.

graceful

i walked home one day behind a woman carrying a big sack of rice on her head (8 kms in the hot sun). as i watched her walk i thought how graceful she looked and thought about a model that was vying for the title of miss costa rica. the contestant for miss cr actually crossed her feet over about 5 inches as she walked. the boys were all laughing as she forcefully made her way down the runway. there was nothing graceful about it. she was a bone rack and all her beauty was artificial and painted on. the woman with the sack of rice on her head had a natural beauty and grace about her.

i can't imagine living a life where there is such an abundance of food yet you starve yourself to 'look beautiful'. and the rest of us buy into it.

orange peelers

last week a little 7 year old girl just about cut her finger off trying to peel an orange. they use knives and when i asked about a 7 year old using a sharp knife, it's like they all do. if you have any tupperware orange peelers would you like to donate them to the kids in costa rica. i don't know that they would use them and they may get wasted but... it's hard to change the culture.

washing machines

another thing we take for granted. this morning i washed 4 days worth of my clothes by hand. then i hung them on the line, in front of the house for all the neighbours to see. i tried to hang them in the back but vicki wanted me to hang them in the front because there is more wind there and they will dry faster.

toilet paper

i'm wondering - if you don't have money for food would you waste money on toilet paper. you're just going to burn it anyway.

we learned the first year we were here that you never travel throughout costa rica without toilet paper.

last year when i was in the hospital there was no toilet paper even there. thankfully it's always in my backpack.

just another one of the many things we take for granted.

home in los chiles

i have occasionally stayed with one family in los chiles and i have stayed in the motel here (it's expensive though). i have been looking for a place of my own but when school started all the teachers came back to town for the school year so all the places for rent have been rented.

today i went to visit a family we helped move 3 years ago, and whom we see every year when we come, and she invited me to stay with them when i come to los chiles. actually they were the family susy lived with when she stayed in los chiles for the 8 months she lived here. i thought she had lived with another family. anyway it will be so much better. i will be able to leave some clothes here and toothbrush and stuff so i don't always have to pack my heavy backpack back and forth all the time. i don't mind walking the 8kms from the highway to amparo except when my pack is really heavy.

world vision

i have met with vision mundial here a few times and i have gone to 9 very poor schools here (there are so many more though). when asked what the greatest need was the teachers have said food, the children are hungry and there is no food. i know you can buy a goat or chickens for villages for world vision. i thought that might work for the villages i have gone to but the doctor at the ministry of health said that the animals would be stolen. everyone is so poor and hungry. how do you make it work when people buy animals for a village for world vision? who do you give the animals to, who takes care of them, who feeds them when there is no food, etc.? in addition the children need shoes, uniforms, clothes, school supplies. the ministry of health is starting a program in these 10 schools to promote good dental care, good health, good nutrition by providing cereal and milk but they need sponsors willing to donate the necessary supplies. most of these villages don't have electricity or potable water.

yesterday i sent email requests to colgate-palmolive for toothbrushes, paste and soap, kelloggs for cereal, dos pinos in costa rica for milk. i don't know that they will even respond to my email never mind actually supply some of the needed items. can you tell me if there are other companies that donate foodstuffs for hungry children, or shoes, or clothes, or school supplies.

the doctor here said children don't have underwear and when i took a little boy shopping for clothes so he could go to school he asked if i would buy him underwear. (i can't imagine what the girls do when they reach puberty here)

i'd really appreciate any help you can give me on how to provide a sustainable food source for the kids in these impoverished villages.

schools on the frontier

went to 5 of the poorer schools along the frontier today with the ministry of health. at least half, or more, of the children didn't have any shoes, when asked what the children needed the first teacher said food, cuz the children were hungry and they didn't have any money to buy food. 3 of the schools didn't have any power. 1 pumped water from the ground using a plastic pipe, 1 had potable water, the rest have foul water they pull up out of dirty, antique wells. it took us 6 hours to visit 5 schools. they were spread out over the worst roads and it was the most bone jarring ride of my entire life. before we got to the second school i thought there is no way i want to come back here again but by the time i got to the 3rd school i thought there is no way i would have wanted to miss it. i had thought maybe the team wouldn't come here, then i knew that i wanted them to see it. there were houses with palm frond roofs and i saw one women standing in a river washing her clothes.

the ministry of health is just presenting their program to the teachers at 10 schools this week. thursday we will go to the other 5 schools. once they have thought about it they can tell us what the greatest need is.

the min of health program is to provide toothbrushes, toothpaste and soap to each school and to educate the children on cleanliness and brushing their teeth and to provide milk and cereal and teach them about healthy eating. other needs are for school notebooks, pencils, uniforms, shoes, etc.

nicaragua

went to nicaragua today. i may not be able to prove it though cuz i can't get my passport stamped. but it was an adventure, getting down on your hands and knees and crawling under the barbed wire fence so you can get your picture taken and say you've been to nicaragua.

spiritual gifts

my Spiritual Gifts

Evangelism 16
Prophecy 8
Teaching 4
Exhortation 10
Pastor/Shepherd 13
Showing Mercy 21
Serving 20
Giving 12
Administration 9

About Your Spiritual Gifts

Spiritual gifts are tools God gives Christians to do the work of the ministry -- to fulfill the Great Commission to reach, baptize, and teach and to minister to one another. Every Christian receives at least one gift at the moment of salvation. Spiritual gifts are not rewards, are not natural talents, are not a place of service, are not an age-group ministry, and are not a specialty ministry. They express themselves through various ministries which, in turn, accomplish a variety of results. A spiritual gift is the primary channel by which the Holy Spirit ministers through the believer. It is a supernatural capacity for servive to God -- and He gives you a supernatural desire to perform the duties of that gift. Spiritual gifts are tools for building the church. They are a source of joy in your Christian life and influence your motives. A spiritual gift is a divine calling with a divine responsibility, because what God has gifted you to do, He has called you to do, and what He has called you to do, He has gifted you to do.

Your dominant gifts are Showing Mercy, Serving

The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your number one dominant gift is MERCY SHOWING! The Greek word "ellco" means to feel sympathy with or for others. As a mercy-shower you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by identifying with and comforting those who are in distress. You understand and comfort your fellow Christian. You enter into the grief or happiness of others and have the ability to show empathy which is to feel WITH others, not just for others.

As a mercy-shower you are willing to deal with and minister to people who have needs that most people feel very uncomfortable working with. You seem to say the right thing at the right time. Your personality is likely one of soft-spoken love. It hurts you to scold someone; you are very non-condemning. People love you because of all the love you give them. You find it easy to express yourself and are outgoing with a low-key, inoffensive personality. You are easy to talk to, responsive to people, a good listener, peaceable, and agreeable. You tend to make decisions based on feelings more than fact and like to think about things for a while before making a decision.

In your burden to comfort others, your heart goes out to the poor, the aged, the ill, the underprivileged, and so on. You tend to attract people who are hurting or rejoicing because you identify with them. Be careful not to let others use you. Try not to resent others who are not as understanding as you. Refrain from becoming a gossiper when you are around other mercy-showers. Do not let your circumstances control you. Because of your supernatural ability to show mercy, others accuse you of taking up for people, being a softy and a compromiser. They may think you are too emotional.

Mercy-showers make excellent counselors. However, left untrained, you may destroy yourself by your tendency to take people's problems home with you. Your empathy can become detrimental without personal training on how to deal with it.

Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He can cause pride because of your ability to relate to others. He may influence you to disregard rules and authority. You may experience a lack of discipline because of strong feeling for those who hurt due to disobedience and sin. Don't fall into Satan's trap of complaining and griping.

HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR GIFT? Your gift is used best in times of sorrow and in times of great joy. It fits well with another gift of service such as deacon, youth worker or hospital visitation. With a counseling course, you could become a good counselor. You may serve as a hospital, nursing home, or shut-in worker; a funeral coordinator and provider of sympathy and support; or a poverty center worker. You would do well as an usher or greeter and welcome center worker or hospitality person. You may want to work in a telephone ministry. You would make people feel welcome on a newcomer visitation team. Other appropriate ministry areas include missions, committee member, furlough assistance, and correspondence helper. You would work well with the elderly and with people who have mental and physical disabilities, in nursing, and with special ministries to migrants, released offenders or abused children and women.


The results of your Spiritual Gifts Inventory indicate that your second dominant gift is SERVING! The Greek word "Diakonia" means to do service. In Acts 6:1 the word is interpreted "ministration." Our word deacon comes from the same Greek word. Actually the gift of serving combines helps and ministering. The word "helps" is used in 1 Corinthians 12:28 and "ministering" in Romans 12:7. As a server you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by rendering practical help in both physical and spiritual matters. You enjoy meeting the practical needs of your fellow Christians and the church.

The gift of serving is not the gift God gives you when you cannot do anything else. It is spiritual in nature and as important as any gift in the church. Never think it is anything less; it only becomes less if you do not use it as God intended.

As a server you are the person who is willing to do a million and one necessary tasks in the church. You probably do not realize that your love for the Lord is showing every time the doors of the church are open, especially if you oiled the hinges last week so they don't squeak any more. You are happy working behind the scenes. You are ambitious, often involved in a variety of activities, and enjoy manual projects. You are loyal, sincere, tolerant, faithful, and devoted. Most people find you easy going, likable, congenial, and inoffensive. You can listen to others without being critical. You do not like to be in the spotlight and prefer not to express yourself publicly.

You are quick to respond to needs and impressed with the need to respond when exhorted to serve. Because of this, you find it difficult to say no. You like to support a good leader. Some consider you a workaholic. You tend to emphasize practical needs over spiritual needs.

Be careful that you complete what you start and do not neglect the needs of your own family by trying to meet so many needs in the church or in others' homes. Be willing to read and follow directions in the beginning--not just when all else fails. Because of your quick response, some people think you jump in too fast. Others think you neglect spiritual needs.

Beware of Satan's attack on your gift. He can cause pride because of the work you do. He may cause you to feel insignificant or cause you to lack concern for people or for spiritual growth. Impatience and lack of knowledge cause poor-quality workmanship.

HOW CAN YOU USE YOUR GIFT? Your gift may put you into action. You may serve as manager of maintenance and grounds. You can do may tasks such as paint the walls, pick up trash, sort hymnals, clean the baptistry, keep the nursery or launder nursery bedding, cook meals, paint signs, drive the bus, help with the choir, run errands, serve as an audio-video worker, help with recordkeeping, be the church librarian, act as a greeter or an usher, serve as a stage hand in drama productions or as a photographer. You may want to help in special ministries such as migrant or community help (with home repairs or meal-on-wheels for the needy and elderly), as a hospitality worker for newcomers, or as an instrumentalist. You may also enjoy beautifying the church ground with flower gardens and landscaping. The list goes on.

world vision

last year i volunteered with world vision in costa rica and they took us around to different villages where they have various projects, completed and ongoing. it was an eye opener. they explained how they use the money that people donate.

i have gone to a couple of meetings here. today the speaker actually spoke slow enough that i understood quite a lot of what he said. one lady i had met at another meeting saw me on the street to ask if i was going to the meeting. and the speaker made sure i knew of the next meeting date. the director of world vision in costa rica told me he couldn't really use me cuz my spanish is so bad so i don't know what i'm doing at the meetings but i'm going.

tuesday i went to a farm to see how they are cross breeding different strains of corn and beans to produce a more nutritious and higher yield crop.

13 of us rode 4 hours each way in a 9 passenger van. i got to see a bit more of costa rica and had a free lunch and it didn't rain so all in all it was a good day.

1 cor 9:14

'in the same way the LORD has commanded that those who preach the gospel should receive their living from the gospel'

moises - update

he started school and is very happy to be there. thank you for your generosity and making this happen.

guilt

guilt - it's what i feel when i've done something wrong. it's something that creates a chasm between me and God. it's what Jesus' sacrifice did to bridge that chasm. and it's something that God delivers me from when i confess my transgression. it's a burden He lifts when He forgives me and restores me to Himself.

another word for generous giving - JOY

we teach on everything else in the bible. if we are to ensure our pastors are paid we need to teach on tithing and giving.

the bible talks more about generous giving than any other subject. it is one of the joys and blessings we have in our relationship with God. if we are not tithing we are missing out on God's blessings.

it is one thing i have read a lot about while i have been here. and everywhere it says that God will bless a generous giver.

if we have so many people in our church and the offering is down so much that the pastors aren't paid and the bills aren't paid i'm guessing that people don't understand the concept of giving. if they don't have a bible and don't understand that concept we are negligent in teaching them and we are depriving them of the joy of generous giving.

as teachers and leaders we need to share this knowledge with them. as we teach the younger generations about the God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the bible, we teach them about the 10 commandments, Adam and Eve, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Noah, David, etc. etc. we teach them about loving God, faithfulness to God, trusting God, serving God, but do we teach them about giving to God.

if they don't learn it when they are young they won't know it when they are old. if they come to Jesus when they are old when will they learn it if we don't teach them. we need to teach everyone, in church, in sunday school, in youth groups, in bible study groups.

it may feel like a touchy subject but if we teach everything else in the bible we also need to teach about generous giving and the joy that comes with it.

moises

is a little boy that the team met here a couple of years ago. he had never been to school because the father was gone and the mother worked and he had to stay home to look after 3 younger siblings. moises is 12, his brothers are 3 and 6 and his sister is 1 1/2. i had been looking for him because there was a family in church that wanted to sponsor him. i finally found him and when i asked if he wanted to go to school he said yes but he didn't have the necessary school uniform, supplies and shoes that he needed. i don't know when they last had a shower or clean clothes or if they have ever had a toothbrush.

FOR MOISES - 20,200 colones ($56 canadian) prices might vary slightly depending on the current exchange rate.
shoes - 6500 col
2 underpants - 900 - when you can't buy food you don't worry about underpants.
2 pair sox - 900 - if you've never owned a pair of shoes you've never needed sox before.
white t-shirt - 1000
uniform shirt and pants - 5300
6 notebooks - 2700
backpack, pencils, sharpener, scissors, glue - 2900

FOR THE FAMILY - 7,376 colones ($20)
toothbrushes
toothpaste
soap
apples
cereal
milk
nail clippers

CLOTHES FOR THE FAMILY - 4,800 colones ($13)
i got 3 outfits for the little girl and 2 t-shirts each for each of the boys and 1 tee for the mom. 4,800 colones - that's about $13.00. the store didn't have any pants but they could sure use them. they were all pretty dirty today.

so for everything it was 32,376 colones, about $90.

if you feel you want to contribute please feel free to pay as much as or little as you like. i would like your picture though as i want the children to see who it is that is filled with God's love and generosity. it's like world vision asks people to send their pictures so the sponsored children can see who they are. it's a good thing i think to show the children the faces of the people that care about them.

thank you so much, and
God bless you
teri

frustration

maybe it was like a had a job when the boys were in school and the parents were at work. i did laundry, cooked meals, cleaned house - with everyone home for the past two months getting up at different times, cooking separate meals for themselves using different pots and pans, not cleaning up after themselves, the mess is constant. now i could spend every moment cleaning and it's frustrating.

maybe it's that i need to feel useful and i don't and i don't know what to do about it.

church finances

$6,500 needed to make month end bills and cover january 31st paychecks for staff which have not been paid. next payday is february 15 but they still haven't been paid for january 31 yet. they can't pay their mortgage or rent payments unless we pay them.

i don't know how you feel about it but i doubt that i'd keep working for someone that didn't pay me. don't pay them and hopefully they'll leave?

how do you feed your children? you work, and the people you work for pay you so you can provide shelter for your family and put food on the table. as employers they are required by law to provide an suitable environment in which to work. have you ever been to the office? you freeze your butt off in the winter time because there is no heat in the office.

who do you think our pastors work for? besides God? you and me. that makes us their employers. so who do you think pays their salaries? we do, but according to the finance team we haven't been. as employers who do you think is supposed to pay for their office, their place of employment? their place of employment also is where they conduct services, where you and i go to worship God. people that provide that accommodation expect to get paid. just as you or i would expect to get paid.

the pastors need to get paid.
the rent has to be paid.
suppliers have to be paid. (of goods or services, ie paper, lights)

absolutely everything you have God gave you. you have and are nothing without Him. you breathe because He lets you. you have a job because He provided it.

do you not think He would want you to pay for His disciples that take care of your spiritual needs week after week. what about your physical needs, your emotional needs? when someone in the church is in need who do you think they call first? they call someone they think can do something about it. they call the pastors. do you not think they deserve to be compensated for their devotion, their work.

i do. and the next time you are in need you will think so too. but how long can they survive without getting paid.

how long could you?

joseph

his brothers wanted to get rid of him because they didn't like what he had to say. and although he spoke the truth his accusers didn't believe him. as he was finally vindicated his brothers feared retribution but he told them that what they had done for evil God had caused for good. remember that with all your evil intentions that God causes all things to work for good for those that love Him. romans 8.28.

judgement day

is coming and he who has told the truth will be vindicated and those who have judged others will themselves be judged.

the enemy

is at work everywhere. he's full of lies and deceit. he wants the saints to fall. he wants to cause division, especially in the church. the church is God's house and the enemy wants it to fall. this war that we fight is a daily struggle against the powers of darkness. we need to love and support and encourage people in our church, we need to lift each other up in prayer, especially our leaders.

if the enemy is using you to cause division in God's house, please go to Him on your knees and ask for forgiveness. every time we condemn each other, we let the enemy win. you don't belong to satan so don't do his dirty work.

church

in my search for a church i checked out several. they were pretty much the same. it was the same truth from the same bible i read but i didn't like how they presented it. for me they were all kinda the same, dry, dull and boring. i'm not condemning them, i'm just saying they weren't for me. and i think everyone should worship at a church where the message stirs their heart and soul. if you don't like your church, if it isn't filling your needs don't go to it. find another church, one that will meet your needs. but don't try and change the leadership to suit your own selfish agenda if it is obviously filling the needs of the multitude. i'm so thankful i attend a church where the pastor speaks words that touches mine and others hearts do deeply as to produce tears.

Jesus

He spoke the truth but they crucified Him for it. He hung out with sinners but He didn't sin. He was betrayed by friends, people He loved and trusted. He told the truth but they didn't believe Him. they said He lied but He didn't. After He was gone some of those that had crucified Him finally believed the Truth. who are you trying to crucify? they tried to convince others of their lies but He didn't waver from the truth. they didn't believe that He was only doing the work of the Father. His true friends knew He spoke the truth. they believed Him and in Him and they were blessed by His friendship. they hunted him down as a crowd because they were cowards. they wanted to get rid of Him because they didn't believe He spoke the truth. who are you trying to get rid of? are you like them? self-righteous and holier than thou?

?

i love the family in amparo but was getting frustrated there. it's a different culture and the women do everything and are expected to do everything. i enjoyed doing everything but did not like that it was always 'expected'. the dad would come in and say 'teri - coffee' like in other words drop what you're doing and serve me. the pastor would show up and they would say ' teri - coffee for the pastor' it was funny - one time i had just returned from a 7 km walk with the boys and was tired and they said that. i blurted out almost automatically, in english of course, ''he knows where it is''. they literally revere the pastors here. i don't - they are the same as anyone else. the youngest boys laughed although they could not have understood what i said. another time i was making dinner and the dad came in and said 'teri coffee' and i said i'm busy and translated it so he understood.

so the reason i needed to get away was because of my sin of condemning them, pointing fingers at them i had 4 more pointing back at me. God was convicting me but i wasn't listening. it was only when i had some time alone with Him here and was on my knees that i heard what He was saying.

now i'm ready to go back home (amparo) but things seem to be happening here in los chiles. i haven't connected with the pastor here yet so am staying til sunday so i can see him on saturday. then on sunday am i will go home cuz i want to go to the boys soccer game. but i have to come back on monday cuz i'm going somewhere at 6am tuesday am with vision mundial and el ministerio de salud. (world vision and ministry of health)

we really don't know how fortunate we are. on the frontier i don't expect to find people living underground but they live in squalor nonetheless. i should've added that to things i'm grateful for cuz boy i sure am.

things i am grateful for...

that i am not freezing my buns off right now
i don't have to cut the grass with a machete
i don't have to chop down a tree with an axe
i don't have to walk 11 kms to school and back each day
i don't have to limb a tree with a machete
that i have had this opportunity to come to cr and have some awesome times with God
my salvation
forgiveness no matter how many times i screw up
a strong back to carry my back pack
2 good eyes to see the beauty of God's creation
to have met some wonderful people here
to have a wonderful family that love me
2 strong legs to carry me wherever i go
that the Holy Spirit convicts me when i sin so that i might get straight with God
a breeze on a hot sunny day
a ride when my pack is heavy and i'm tired
circumstances that have shaped my life
people i have known
the kindness of strangers
the ability to hear beautiful music and laughter of little children
the ability to sing joyful music
answered prayers
unanswered prayers
freedom to worship where and when i want
having enough food to eat
having clean water to drink
calculators
God's love
joy
peace
friends

we have so many things to be grateful for

PLEASE...

if one of your spiritual gifts is giving or if you have a heart for feeding the hungry or clothing the poor, PLEASE contact me.

just had a meeting with dr. molina and the ministry of health in los chiles. they said they will take me to the schools on the frontier where the only food the kids have is bananas. they cannot accept money directly but would shop with me to purchase the things the kids need. this way i can see where the money is going, ie for toothpaste, toothbrushes, soap, pencils and notebooks for school, etc.

i told dr. molina about the program world vision had for the schools in guanacaste, another province of costa rica, ie having gardens right at the schools and the kids learning to grow food there. if their sole food source is bananas i would think they would be pretty motivated.

i used to have a pretty green thumb but seeing what they had to start with to make the garden was pretty disheartening. they had to cut down the jungle with machetes to even just clear a space for a garden.

they need money to accomplish this. i know there are people out there that have money and have the gift of giving and maybe a heart for missions, or maybe just a heart for poor, hungry people, but can't go themselves and would want to support them - i just need to find them. any idea where i can start. if you are one of them PLEASE contact me. if you know anyone please have them contact me.

plain white t-shirts for the kids are 1,000 colones - $2.77 cdn. not much but if there are 50 kids it's 50,000 - $138.50 cdn. that's not much for you or i but that's a huge amount when you have nothing.

i heard once that costa rica was a second world country but i have seen third world living conditions first hand here.

as with everything else you may think you're only one person - what difference can you make. it's starts with one and yes you can make a difference.

how much is a tattoo? $70.00? that will buy 5 pairs of school shoes for kids that have never had a pair of shoes in their life.

if you already support kids through world vision for one equal payment of $35.00 you can completely outfit a child here in costa rica for school, shoes, sox, pants, shirt, books.

dr. molina's program is for 10 schools on the frontier but there are so many more schools, every few kilometers here because there is no transportation.

shovels are less than $10 each and if each school had a shovel and seeds, etc. maybe they could start a garden and grow nutritious foods. but they need your help. they don't have the money or the tools.

if a goat could be bought for each school the kids would at least have milk. PLEASE can you not find it in your heart to give.

do you really need that 100th cd?

or another sega game?

can you skip seeing lord of the rings for the 7th time?

can you live without buying another pair of shoes?

do you really need a tv or dvd in every room?

i'm not trying to guilt you out. i know a lot of people have worked very hard to have what they have. and i know a lot of people that live to excess.

i'm asking you to search your heart.

and i'm asking you to give.

PLEASE.

going home

maybe it's not time just yet. who knows. i had thought maybe it was but if there is an opportunity to help in these frontera pueblos i want to. i have learned my lesson about saying i will do this or that for however long but i can't help recalling that God so clearly said 'but only for one year' 2 days after i got here. so maybe He can still use me here.

don't know. but it feels so good to feel useful again.

treasures

i was so looking forward to coming home and having a hot bath, with bubbles, just laying in it til the water got cold. i'm so used to washing dishes the costa rican way in cold water i'm going to bring their dish soap home with me.

i think of the big house i had, all the clothes i had, all the things i had. they are worth nothing as i am reminded of the people living underground in cr. i wonder what kind of living conditions i will encounter on the frontera. people that don't have water period, never mind hot water.

like the bible says about treasures. i had a house, robbers broke in and stole things.

last week i bought a bag of platano chips for some little girl on the bus. omg what a humungous smile. now that's a treasure.

extreme poverty

this am i went to the ministerio de salud which is next door to the hotel. not sure if i told you but when i was at the vision mundial meeting for the women last week i met the lady that works for the m de s and she called her boss to talk to me cuz he speaks fluent ingles. anyway he told me about a program he wants to start in the schools to teach the kids about good health and nutrition. i went to enquire about the program for amparo and when i talked with this lady today she said it was meant for the schools along the frontera. she has invited me to come along with her. oh yeah!!! she has to ask her boss but she has a car and wants to take me with her.

they want to provide toothbrushes, toothpaste, cornflakes, milk. it hardly makes a dent but you have to start somewhere. josefa and her daughter have maybe 3 teeth each.

these people in the frontera villages don't have water, electricity, food, clothes, shoes, nada.

i don't know what they live in but last night on the news they showed people that live underground, with the rats, all their garbage, spiders, snakes, disease. it blew me away. to see what conditions people are forced to live in because they have nothing else.

i was shocked at the conditions josefa lives in with her family. last night's news program stunned me. i had thought i couldn't live in a place like josefa's. i know i couldn't live underground. my stomach is churning at the thought.

if you know any companies that would open their wallets. dr. molina is going to approach large corporations here but that all takes time. if you feel it in your heart to donate any amount of money so we can purchase even the very basics for these kids please email me. i haven't seen their living conditions but last nights newscast was sickening.

there are about 10 schools with 30 to 50 kids total.

i feel alive again. i felt useless, like there was nothing here for me to do. thank you Father for answered prayers.

i'm too buzzed right now but is it rom 8.28 - God causes all things to work together for good... all my frustrations led me here. like dany has said - there is victory after the struggle.

pointing fingers

remember when you are pointing fingers at others there are 4 more pointing back at you. something scott said.

as i have been getting frustrated here i have been pointing fingers at others. their lives, their joy has not changed, but mine has. the more i pointed fingers the more distant i became from God. i knew He was there, He is always there, but i had lost my joy. my joy is my intimate relationship with my beloved heavenly Father. without that i am nothing.

i came to los chiles for peace and quiet and to hopefully find my joy. as i have been asking God to convict me so that there would be nothing between us i was complaining about others. the more i complained about others the more miserable i became. i was asking God what happened, why was i miserable, why did i feel like He was distant. He was telling me but i wasn't listening.

i listened last night. and He has restored my joy. and i am alive again.

when you are complaining about others, for whatever reason, you are not justified. it doesn't matter what it is you think they did or didn't do. only God has the right to judge others.

are you complaining about the church, the leaders, anyone else? who gives you the right to complain about anyone? if they have sinned the Holy Spirit will convict them and God will judge them. whether they have sinned or not who are you to throw stones. instead of condemning someone, anyone, love them, support them, encourage them.

Jesus came to do the work of His Father. people were either for Him or against Him. those that were against Him were against God Who sent Him. our pastors are doing the work of our Father and as such they will judged more so than you or i.

lost your joy? what is the Holy Spirit convicting you of that you aren't listening to? didn't murder anyone? or did you? with a harsh angry word?

never had joy? it's the result of having an awesome intimate relationship with your Creator. there is absolutely nothing like it in this world.

thank you Father for not giving up on me and convicting me until i listened. and thank you for restoring my joy.

frustrated

i don't know what i thought i came here to do but whatever it was i don't know that i am needed here anymore. the warmth and beauty of this country has been so good for my soul. walks in the garden (the airstrip) and just down the road (solitary country roads) have been amazing times spent with God. i will miss that.

thought i knew why i was coming here but now i haven't a clue. the second day i was here and thanked God for bringing me here because it really felt like home, He very clearly said ''but only for one year.'' it's only been a few months and now i am having doubts of what to do, where to go. after i leave what is there to come back for.

last night i stayed in los chiles at the motel by the river. it was a clean, quiet room, all to myself and i didn't want to go back to amparo.

i will go wherever and do whatever God calls me to but right now i have no idea what or where that is.

please pray that He would reveal His will to me cuz i haven't a clue right now.