going home

took a break for a week and went to stay at a friends place an hour west of san jose. she has two very beautiful houses set in an incredibly beautiful acreage that has to be a replica of the garden of eden. i was in one house by myself and read a lot of books for a week. there was a young couple staying in the other house where the tv and phone are. it is set in the mountains and even in the middle of the day it was dark and you could almost feel the jungle closing in on you. the houses are almost brand new with up-to-date modern conveniences. it was much cooler, from mid to high 30's in amparo to low to mid 20's. there were no mosquitoes, no gargantuan spiders inside. there is a pool that overlooks the central valley. you would never have to leave except to buy groceries. there is a man that takes care of the grounds and his wife cleans the houses once a week. the flowers, the trees, the birds, the butterflies. everything was just so clean and beautiful. i was living in the lap of luxury.

and i was miserable. as i weighed the pros and cons about returning home to amparo i thought of how poor and broken down the house is, the garbage (no pickup here), the smells (smokes from the fires, burning mosquito coils inside the house, poisons to kill the various bugs, chickens in the house, rotting fruit), the huge spiders, the roosters, the mosquitoes, bats, snakes, toads, coakroaches, billions of ants, etc. in the house, cooking and cleaning and laundry for 9 or 10 people i wondered about the ache in my heart. i had read several books but none of them were the bible. when i finally stopped reading and started talking to God i knew i wanted to go home. i was so unsettled for a week and once i'd made the decision to go home i was so excited. last night i made dinner, cleaned, did laundry, helped the boys with their homework, talked with them. i had missed them so much. i was home. i was content.

there really is no place like home.