A stranger and I didn’t invite her in.

September 6, 2013 Coming out of Walmart yesterday I saw a lady sitting on the ground with a huge bundle of her belongings behind her. I asked God if I should go talk to her. Didn’t get a response so I continued walking to my truck. Getting into my truck God said “give her a home.” I’m thinking “what”? Again I hear Him say “give her a home”. I’m still thinking “what” I don’t have a bed or a separate room, she’s a total stranger, all kinds of reasons why I’m thinking this is crazy. I’m crossing the parking lot heading to Home Depot and a third time God says “give her a home”. I said ok if this is what God really wants me to do I will go talk to her if she’s still there when I come out of Home Depot. Forgive me Lord but I was hoping she wasn’t. I knew I had to go see her because I knew it was God talking to me cuz those definitely wouldn’t have been my thoughts. I’ve prayed for opportunities to tell people about Jesus and I can’t believe how badly I blew it today. I never introduced myself, never asked her name. I asked if she was hungry, if I could get her something to eat, get her a coffee, if she needed a place to stay I could give her a ride to sally ann. I don’t remember all the things I asked her but I asked if I could pray for her. How dumb! Can I pray for her? Why did I think to say that instead of telling her how much Jesus loves her. She said no to most questions or shook her head or just didn’t answer at all so I finally left. As I was thinking about what God said I was also thinking about reasons why I couldn’t bring her home with me. I can’t believe how badly I blew it today. I had the opportunity to be Jesus to someone and I didn’t even think to tell her about Him. I knew without a doubt it was God telling me to “give her a home” and I wanted to be obedient so I went to her. But I didn’t ask her to come home with me. God gave me a golden opportunity, something that I regularly pray for – how could I have blown it so badly. Self-centeredness? Fear of her? Fear of what others (neighbours) would say? “I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these you did not do for Me.” “You were a stranger and I didn’t invite You in.” Was this a test Lord? Would she have come home with me if I’d asked her? She was maybe 50 or 60, had clear eyes, light, pale blue eyes, small features, soft spoken. I wondered if she was not all there. I even pray Ephesians 6:19-20 “that whenever I open my mouth words may be given me so that I would fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel and that I would declare it fearlessly as I should. “ I was oblivious to our surroundings not knowing or caring if anyone was watching. What else could I have said to her other than the obvious to come home with me. I’m wondering why when I’m presented with a perfect opportunity to be Jesus to someone I didn’t say the right things and like in Eph 6:19 words weren’t “given me”. I had the chance to glorify God and not only I didn’t take it but I totally blew it. September 7, 2013 Reading 2 Corinthians 10:5 with new understanding today. “Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ”. It was head knowledge until a friend said it to me as I ran crying from church in 2003. I didn’t know I was under spiritual attack and those words and Christ gave me almost instant deliverance. Today I think of the 3 “thoughts” I had last night that I wasn’t immediately obedient in going to talk to this woman. Then I read 2 Cor 10:5 again, the part about “demolishing arguments and every high minded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God.” God very clearly said “give her a home” and right away I’m thinking He can’t mean my place, it’s only a one bedroom apartment, I don’t have a bed for her, she’s a total stranger, the neighbours would freak if they saw me bringing a homeless woman in. So all in all I wasn’t obedient to God or His word. I set myself up against what I knew to be the knowledge of God. Today I went back to Walmart thinking if I saw her there I knew I had to take her home. Needless to say she wasn’t there. I asked management about her if they had seen her yesterday and if someone had taken her anywhere. I usually notice street people and I had never seen this lady before. A friend was working at Walmart today and I asked if she would look for her when she left. I told my friend what had happened and she said you don’t get a second chance to get it right but that you get another opportunity to get it right. I pray I get it right next time. Partial obedience in not obedience at all.