10/14
is everywhere i look and is visible even in the smiles on the faces of the children playing in the dirt. actually that's what's most beautiful. they have nothing, are literally dirt poor but they are so happy. brother plays with brother instead of invididuals spending time in solitary pursuits, ie game boys. the more we give our kids the less we give them.
i love trees and nature and it's awesome here. i had a 12' fig tree that was beautiful. i saw one here that's 300 plus years old and it's humungous. they are literally everywhere. and palm trees - oh palm trees - what more needs to be said. poinsettia's growing wild. everything we strive to grow in our homes are everywhere i look. bright, beautiful fragrant flowers. it's truly a garden of delight, beautiful lush greenery, a variety of beautiful birds and butterflies... would the garden of eden been more beautiful.
watching from above the lightning in the thunder clouds and now from below i´m in awe of God, of His power and the beauty of His creation and i´m thankful He has placed me in the garden ever so briefly.
Friday, October 22, 2004
the goodness of God
is never ending, always there, although sometimes we fail to recognize it.
last week when danny and i walked home from the highway (it's 8 kms) it was dark and we couldn't see but we saw a beautiful starlit sky unlike anything seen in the city. it's rainy season but God held back the rain and made our path dry.
today jose and i made it home in daylight and were sheltered from the burning sun with a clouded sky. birds sang to us with heavenly voices along our walk.
definitely not the cacophony of all the roosters in the neighbourhood in the middle of the night. i have yet to recognize goodness in that although as God is everywhere all the time and He is good there's gotta be something there.
last week when danny and i walked home from the highway (it's 8 kms) it was dark and we couldn't see but we saw a beautiful starlit sky unlike anything seen in the city. it's rainy season but God held back the rain and made our path dry.
today jose and i made it home in daylight and were sheltered from the burning sun with a clouded sky. birds sang to us with heavenly voices along our walk.
definitely not the cacophony of all the roosters in the neighbourhood in the middle of the night. i have yet to recognize goodness in that although as God is everywhere all the time and He is good there's gotta be something there.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
scott... i'm sorry
today - thursday
that i ever laughed when you wanted to kill the roosters. i don't know why i didn't hear them in august. jose said they were there.
i used to take sleeping pills on our 2 week mission trips. i didn't think there was any other way to get through the night without waking up and if i'd woken up and seen one of the huge freaking spiders i would've freaked.
i took them with me in august but didn't use them and i slept like a baby - now??? i wonder when i will sleep again.
please give susan a gun to bring to me so i can kill the roosters.
that i ever laughed when you wanted to kill the roosters. i don't know why i didn't hear them in august. jose said they were there.
i used to take sleeping pills on our 2 week mission trips. i didn't think there was any other way to get through the night without waking up and if i'd woken up and seen one of the huge freaking spiders i would've freaked.
i took them with me in august but didn't use them and i slept like a baby - now??? i wonder when i will sleep again.
please give susan a gun to bring to me so i can kill the roosters.
faithful
10.wednesday
i'm so glad that One of us is faithful. even though yesterday i doubted my decision to come here for a year and wondered why i'm here God made it all worthwhile when i went to josefa's house. when yrlin came in and saw me his face lit up and he came over and put his arms around my neck.
i asked mary if she would let yrlin and jeffrey go to the school to have lunch and she said yes. (they had been going but she took them out - no one knows why)
judy is the 14 year old girl in josefa's house and i was teaching her and mary some english. mary seems a little less distrustful of me today.
i'm so glad that One of us is faithful. even though yesterday i doubted my decision to come here for a year and wondered why i'm here God made it all worthwhile when i went to josefa's house. when yrlin came in and saw me his face lit up and he came over and put his arms around my neck.
i asked mary if she would let yrlin and jeffrey go to the school to have lunch and she said yes. (they had been going but she took them out - no one knows why)
judy is the 14 year old girl in josefa's house and i was teaching her and mary some english. mary seems a little less distrustful of me today.
josefa's house
10.12
there have been several people at josefa's house and today i learned that they live there. the man is one of her sons and his two sons and another girl that is 14. 9 people share this tiny little house with dirt floors and no doors, bamboo and black plastic walls. i used to think my bathrooms were really small, and i had 2. neither of their bedrooms is as big as either of my bathrooms were. josefa and leo shared 1 bed and yrlin and jeffrey shared a hammock above them. the other 'room' was where they hung their clothes to dry. 1 can't imagine where they all sleep now.
the family says mary and her brother eat the food and the children go hungry.
there have been several people at josefa's house and today i learned that they live there. the man is one of her sons and his two sons and another girl that is 14. 9 people share this tiny little house with dirt floors and no doors, bamboo and black plastic walls. i used to think my bathrooms were really small, and i had 2. neither of their bedrooms is as big as either of my bathrooms were. josefa and leo shared 1 bed and yrlin and jeffrey shared a hammock above them. the other 'room' was where they hung their clothes to dry. 1 can't imagine where they all sleep now.
the family says mary and her brother eat the food and the children go hungry.
doubt
10.12
suzy didn't have the resources to live on her own nor would she have been allowed to. i don't have those same restrictions but i wonder why i'm here and what i am here to learn and if i will last a year and if it was Your will in the first place.
i've worked for the last 40 years. was i premature in quitting my job and selling my house? what am i supposed to do for the next year?
suzy didn't have the resources to live on her own nor would she have been allowed to. i don't have those same restrictions but i wonder why i'm here and what i am here to learn and if i will last a year and if it was Your will in the first place.
i've worked for the last 40 years. was i premature in quitting my job and selling my house? what am i supposed to do for the next year?
privacy
10.12
my room is my private space for the most part until we get a new monitor then it's the games room / homework room. and no longer my own. then it will be shared with 1 to 3 people.
thinking of susy and what she told me - i never thought it would happen so fast.
(i was sick and i'm better now) could i have some cheese with that whine please.
my room is my private space for the most part until we get a new monitor then it's the games room / homework room. and no longer my own. then it will be shared with 1 to 3 people.
thinking of susy and what she told me - i never thought it would happen so fast.
(i was sick and i'm better now) could i have some cheese with that whine please.
quiet
10.12
where do you find it here? i don't remember it always being so loud. the music is always on and it is either loud or louder. there's no escape.
susan asked why i liked the country better than the city to which i replied it's so peaceful. not!
walking home with danny he asked me why i liked it here to which i replied it's so peacful. not!
i'm smiling about it today.
how did i miss this before?
where do you find it here? i don't remember it always being so loud. the music is always on and it is either loud or louder. there's no escape.
susan asked why i liked the country better than the city to which i replied it's so peaceful. not!
walking home with danny he asked me why i liked it here to which i replied it's so peacful. not!
i'm smiling about it today.
how did i miss this before?
sick
04.10.11
all los niños have colds and with everyone greeting everyone with a kiss it's hard not to get sick. when i was packing up i looked at the cold medicine in my cupboard and thought 'nah i won't need it' oh wrong.
all los niños have colds and with everyone greeting everyone with a kiss it's hard not to get sick. when i was packing up i looked at the cold medicine in my cupboard and thought 'nah i won't need it' oh wrong.
dear abby
date 04.10.10
it's funny and sweet at the same time. jose realized in may that he was in love and started asking me about marriage and how to be a good husband. twice divorced and i'm giving marital advice???
now danny is asking me about girls, telling me how he feels about them and asking why they say and do the things they do. he was quite puzzled when i cracked up. i told him men will never understand women as well as we will never understand men.
we have watched him grow up over the past 4 1/2 years and he's growing into a very sweet young man.
it's funny and sweet at the same time. jose realized in may that he was in love and started asking me about marriage and how to be a good husband. twice divorced and i'm giving marital advice???
now danny is asking me about girls, telling me how he feels about them and asking why they say and do the things they do. he was quite puzzled when i cracked up. i told him men will never understand women as well as we will never understand men.
we have watched him grow up over the past 4 1/2 years and he's growing into a very sweet young man.
soccer
date 04.10.09
they live for it here. we watched canada tie honduras before church and cr beat guatemala after church. the house erupts insanely with cheers when a goal is scored (much like canadians at a hockey game). the boys play / practise soccer every night at 5 when it's a little cooler and have games on sundays although they have been winning all their games so the other teams don't want to play them.
10.?
last night we watched canada play cr in vancouver. the family couldn't believe that there were hardly any fans. here they fill a 39k stadium, they shut down the store for a game and they cancel church for a game.
they live for it here. we watched canada tie honduras before church and cr beat guatemala after church. the house erupts insanely with cheers when a goal is scored (much like canadians at a hockey game). the boys play / practise soccer every night at 5 when it's a little cooler and have games on sundays although they have been winning all their games so the other teams don't want to play them.
10.?
last night we watched canada play cr in vancouver. the family couldn't believe that there were hardly any fans. here they fill a 39k stadium, they shut down the store for a game and they cancel church for a game.
praise God
date 04.10.09
jose said they were going to show the passion at church tonight so danny and i went to ask mary if she would like to come and watch the movie. it was so-o cool. she brought yrlin and jeffrey, her neighbour and about 7 little girls. although the vhs was dirty and we didn't watch it maybe a seed was planted.
jose said they were going to show the passion at church tonight so danny and i went to ask mary if she would like to come and watch the movie. it was so-o cool. she brought yrlin and jeffrey, her neighbour and about 7 little girls. although the vhs was dirty and we didn't watch it maybe a seed was planted.
tired
date 04.10.08
spent 3 hours on emails in san carlos today. danny & i left san carlos at 4 and got to santa cecelia @ 6:20 and it was pitch black for most of the way. there had been torrential rains in san carlos but it was a beautiful clear night walking home. although it was pitch black in places You gave me a hand to guide me, an incredible starlit sky, a dry path and a sweet friend to share the walk with, just like the path we were on is how You lead me - out of the darkness into the light.
spent 3 hours on emails in san carlos today. danny & i left san carlos at 4 and got to santa cecelia @ 6:20 and it was pitch black for most of the way. there had been torrential rains in san carlos but it was a beautiful clear night walking home. although it was pitch black in places You gave me a hand to guide me, an incredible starlit sky, a dry path and a sweet friend to share the walk with, just like the path we were on is how You lead me - out of the darkness into the light.
Friday, October 08, 2004
me
i know it's not about me but in this case i just wanted to let you all know that i am very well and very happy and i love you all.
forgiveness
date 04.10.08
i am overwhelmed by these feelings that i can't explain. god is trying to tell me something that i'm struggling to keep a lid on as i leave amparo on the bus. and now sitting in san carlos by myself having coffee i struggle to keep it together. thoughts of memories... fogiveness... letting go... have been haunting me all morning. i know what he's trying to tell me - it's just that these public places are so public. have i come to costa rica to face my past. i realize something i haven't forgiven or let go of. right now a dark space where i can hide and let go sounds so inviting but god isn't found in the dark and thankfully he won't let me go there or let me stay there when i do.
how many of us are unable or unwilling to face our past, never mind let go of it. i didn't think i had anything to let go of but apparently i do.
i know i am forgiven, i thought i had forgiven someone.
do certain events in our lives hurt us so deeply that we bury them subconsciously so we can get on with living. i have known such incredible joy in loving and being loved by my heavenly father that i'm blown away that my past has resurfaced causing such anguish. i have asked god to help me let go of anything that might be between us. careful what you ask for. god does answer prayer.
is he freeing me from my past so he can bless me with the desire of my heart so i can love unconditionally?
i am overwhelmed by these feelings that i can't explain. god is trying to tell me something that i'm struggling to keep a lid on as i leave amparo on the bus. and now sitting in san carlos by myself having coffee i struggle to keep it together. thoughts of memories... fogiveness... letting go... have been haunting me all morning. i know what he's trying to tell me - it's just that these public places are so public. have i come to costa rica to face my past. i realize something i haven't forgiven or let go of. right now a dark space where i can hide and let go sounds so inviting but god isn't found in the dark and thankfully he won't let me go there or let me stay there when i do.
how many of us are unable or unwilling to face our past, never mind let go of it. i didn't think i had anything to let go of but apparently i do.
i know i am forgiven, i thought i had forgiven someone.
do certain events in our lives hurt us so deeply that we bury them subconsciously so we can get on with living. i have known such incredible joy in loving and being loved by my heavenly father that i'm blown away that my past has resurfaced causing such anguish. i have asked god to help me let go of anything that might be between us. careful what you ask for. god does answer prayer.
is he freeing me from my past so he can bless me with the desire of my heart so i can love unconditionally?
testing...
date 04.09.30
while i was checking in at the airport there were a few problems getting my ticket. i wondered aloud to scott and sushi if this year would be a test for me. whatever happens i know that god will be with me. i just ask that he will transform me into the woman of god that he wants me to be and that he will use me according to his will.
while i was checking in at the airport there were a few problems getting my ticket. i wondered aloud to scott and sushi if this year would be a test for me. whatever happens i know that god will be with me. i just ask that he will transform me into the woman of god that he wants me to be and that he will use me according to his will.
amazing love
date 04.10.07
wow! what a ride that was. extreme low to extreme high.
i needed to block out tica's screams and as i tried to get a cd without being seen the case just happened (?) to be open at the perfect english christian cd. i cranked it as loud as my ears could stand and i went from agonizing moments of suffering to incredible joy as god took me in his arms and loved me.
wow! what a ride that was. extreme low to extreme high.
i needed to block out tica's screams and as i tried to get a cd without being seen the case just happened (?) to be open at the perfect english christian cd. i cranked it as loud as my ears could stand and i went from agonizing moments of suffering to incredible joy as god took me in his arms and loved me.
raped
date 04.10.07
lord help me please. i hurt for tica. i feel like she is being raped as all the men stand around and watch. one day they praise rinti for protecting tica, today he's in trouble for chasing away the male they brought to mate tica. she's crying and crying and i think just hold stilland get it over with, you can't fight it. i don't understand these emotions i'm feeling right now but i am consumed by them. i don't know why it's bothering me so much - i've seen dogs mate before. father please make her stop crying. make it end.
i know my heavenly father who loves me will comfort me and give me peace but i can't help wishing i could be comforted by someone in whose arms i feel safe.
lord help me please. i hurt for tica. i feel like she is being raped as all the men stand around and watch. one day they praise rinti for protecting tica, today he's in trouble for chasing away the male they brought to mate tica. she's crying and crying and i think just hold stilland get it over with, you can't fight it. i don't understand these emotions i'm feeling right now but i am consumed by them. i don't know why it's bothering me so much - i've seen dogs mate before. father please make her stop crying. make it end.
i know my heavenly father who loves me will comfort me and give me peace but i can't help wishing i could be comforted by someone in whose arms i feel safe.
into the light
date 04.10.06
this morning, as in mornings past over the past 1 1/2 years, i woke feeling the ugliness of this world and i despaired and wanted not to be here. it was only by asking god for his strength, wherein lies my joy, that i was able to overcome the feeling of oppresion that weighed heavily on my mind. no matter how weak i am that i feel i will stay in the darkness i have learned that god will lead me into the light every time i call on his name.
this morning, as in mornings past over the past 1 1/2 years, i woke feeling the ugliness of this world and i despaired and wanted not to be here. it was only by asking god for his strength, wherein lies my joy, that i was able to overcome the feeling of oppresion that weighed heavily on my mind. no matter how weak i am that i feel i will stay in the darkness i have learned that god will lead me into the light every time i call on his name.
critters
date 04.10.05
the mosquitoes aren't too bad right now, tica is in heat so she is tied up to the house so her presence is keeping the rats away, the cockroaches don't bother me although i'd freak if one jumped on me, the gheckos are absolutely everywhere and when one moves i don't look too close in case it could be a spider instead.
the mosquitoes aren't too bad right now, tica is in heat so she is tied up to the house so her presence is keeping the rats away, the cockroaches don't bother me although i'd freak if one jumped on me, the gheckos are absolutely everywhere and when one moves i don't look too close in case it could be a spider instead.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)