people have asked me what i'm going to do in costa rica when i return. i thought i knew. i had it all figured out. then one morning i woke up and felt like i was out of sync with God. when that happens i know i've said or done something i shouldn't have and i need to take care of it in order to be right with God. i didn't swear, get drunk or have illicit sex. so what was it. i couldn't think of what it was so i had to ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to me what was causing me to feel this way.
arrogance. i was making all these plans. how can God use us if we plan everything instead of letting things happen according to God's plan. whoa! i thought oh crap. i went from knowing what i was going to do to not having a clue again and having to wait on God. i liked the idea that i knew what i was going to do. i didn't like the idea that i had no idea. God doesn't tell me things way in advance. He makes me wait until the very last minute.
when i realized my sin against God i started to cry and instantly (it was very weird, snap your fingers instantly) He gave me peace, dried my tears and restored me to Himself.
have i not learned anything? i even have it in my sidebar 'about me' - i have no idea what i will do or where i will live (here i mean in costa rica) but i know God has a plan for me and will tell me when i need to know...
i hate that. i hate not knowing. i still don't have any doubts or fears or worries so i'll just go and let it all unfold according to God's plan.
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