Two more promises - excitement is mounting

"Other times God directs us to sit still and wait." Referring to the promises of God, Beth Moore's bible study on David. It's almost 3 years since God told me to "be still" and "wait". The excitement is mounting since the number 3 is significant in the bible. I have two, as yet, unfulfilled promises that all I can do is pray as God told me and wait.

God's promises fulfilled and the role we play.

"Since the Lord wasn’t able", Numbers 14:16, spoke to me the other day. I have been telling people that Jesus healed me of cancer. Even though the oncologist says it's terminal and incurable I am trusting in the promise that God gave me February 26, 2012 and confirmed 3 days later on February 29, 2012 through someone else, and His word to me March 8, 2013 that I was healed. February 2013 the Holy Spirit led me to the Full Gospel Businessmen's luncheon where the speaker got my attention when during his testimony he was practically yelling at me that if I didn't eat healthy it would come back. And in case I didn't get it the first time he yelled it again. I knew that part of his message was directed at me but I haven't given it that much attention until a couple of days ago. I'm a chocoholic and I love sugar. I have tried to eat better since God warned me but have struggled with chocolate and sugar. God received glory when He brought the Israelites out of Egypt. In Numbers 14 when the Israelites rebelled against God and He threatened to destroy them Moses said that if God killed everyone the nations would say that God wasn't able to fulfill His promise. I wondered if I continued to eat copious amounts of sugar and chocolate would I nullify God's promise to heal me and the cancer would return? Was I treating God's gift of healing with contempt? Wanting God to be glorified in my healing would people then say God wasn't able to heal me. 2Samuel7:25,26 "fulfill the promise You made to Your servant so that Your name would be exalted forever." This spoke to me yesterday in my study of David. My hearts desire is to glorify God and exalt His name forever. Would God's name not be exalted if the cancer returned? And this morning, studying the life of David, Beth Moore says "When God assures us of a promise He desires we respond by assuming a posture of cooperation in the fulfillment of that promise." 3 days and 3 times God spoke to me. God gives us certain promises, general in His word and specific ones to individuals. God promised the land of Canaan to the Israelites but they had a role to play in the fulfillment of that promise. We too have a role to play in the fulfillment of God's promises. Praying that God will, through His Spirit living in me, enable me to resist chocolate and sugar.

What Jesus is saying to the church.

The LORD looks at the heart. What does He see when He looks at yours? One that is faithful to Him and His word? Is He still first in your heart or have you like the church in Ephesus, forsaken your first love? Are you self-centred or are you God-centred ? Do you live by God’s rules which are clearly stated in His word or are you living by your own rules thinking God’s rules don’t apply to you? Jesus told the church in Pergamum and Thyatira that if they didn’t repent of their sexual immorality He would soon come to them and would fight against them with the sword of His mouth and make them suffer intensely. The church in Sardis was spiritually dead and their deeds not complete in the sight of God. Jesus said if they didn’t wake up that He would come against them at an hour they did not know. Are you on fire for God or are you like the Laodicean church that was neither hot nor cold and because of their lukewarmness Jesus was going to spit them out of His mouth? Do you belong to one of these churches? If you do you need to repent because we don’t know when Jesus will return. Then there are the faithful churches Smyrna and Philadephia. Jesus says if we have kept His command to endure patiently He will keep us from the hour of trial that is to come upon the whole world.

Grieving the heart of God

What are you doing that is grieving the heart of God? You have His written word telling you how to live. Are you living according to God’s word? Then the word of the LORD came to Samuel: “I am grieved that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions.”

Failing God

I wonder if “but only for one day” and “give her a home” were tests preparing me for what God is bringing me to. I had thanked God for ‘bringing me home’ the second day in Costa Rica when God called me to live there. And I had asked God if He wanted to say something to the homeless woman last week. My first act of disobedience to His specific word to me when I stayed 15 months instead of 12 gave me a feeling of purposelessness. Later realizing it was a result of my disobedience to His clearly spoken word I determined I never wanted to disobey again. Last week when I realized I’d done it again I was crushed. God knows the end from the beginning and knew that I would not obey. Each time I asked for His forgiveness He forgave me and restored me. These major fails and God’s amazing grace were so different from when I had depression in 2003 believing a continuous tape playing in my head that I had failed God. It was so crushing to the point of depression to the point of wanting to commit suicide. When I finally recognized that it was a spiritual attack and a lie from the pit of hell my healing/deliverance were almost instant. Although He did not cause it God allowed it but true to His word He did not allow more than I could handle. Whatever you are going through trust God, He really is working things out for good for those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose. He will not give you more than you can handle and He will test you to prove your faith Hebrews 11:17. He will test us to refine us Psalm 66:10. God tested Abraham and Abraham trusted God Gen 22:1,8. God tests us to grow our faith and trust in Him. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him. Proverbs 3:5. My soul was overwhelmed with sorrow when it was from the enemy, my spirit was so crushed continually thinking I had failed God but God saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18. Nothing hurts more than believing I’ve failed God. I pray I would not do so again. I do fail on a regular basis trying to live according to His written word and wish/pray that I wouldn’t. I pray I would not have a major fail again, that when He speaks I won’t question Him, I will simply obey. Because to love Him is to obey. And I do so love Him.

A stranger and I didn’t invite her in.

September 6, 2013 Coming out of Walmart yesterday I saw a lady sitting on the ground with a huge bundle of her belongings behind her. I asked God if I should go talk to her. Didn’t get a response so I continued walking to my truck. Getting into my truck God said “give her a home.” I’m thinking “what”? Again I hear Him say “give her a home”. I’m still thinking “what” I don’t have a bed or a separate room, she’s a total stranger, all kinds of reasons why I’m thinking this is crazy. I’m crossing the parking lot heading to Home Depot and a third time God says “give her a home”. I said ok if this is what God really wants me to do I will go talk to her if she’s still there when I come out of Home Depot. Forgive me Lord but I was hoping she wasn’t. I knew I had to go see her because I knew it was God talking to me cuz those definitely wouldn’t have been my thoughts. I’ve prayed for opportunities to tell people about Jesus and I can’t believe how badly I blew it today. I never introduced myself, never asked her name. I asked if she was hungry, if I could get her something to eat, get her a coffee, if she needed a place to stay I could give her a ride to sally ann. I don’t remember all the things I asked her but I asked if I could pray for her. How dumb! Can I pray for her? Why did I think to say that instead of telling her how much Jesus loves her. She said no to most questions or shook her head or just didn’t answer at all so I finally left. As I was thinking about what God said I was also thinking about reasons why I couldn’t bring her home with me. I can’t believe how badly I blew it today. I had the opportunity to be Jesus to someone and I didn’t even think to tell her about Him. I knew without a doubt it was God telling me to “give her a home” and I wanted to be obedient so I went to her. But I didn’t ask her to come home with me. God gave me a golden opportunity, something that I regularly pray for – how could I have blown it so badly. Self-centeredness? Fear of her? Fear of what others (neighbours) would say? “I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these you did not do for Me.” “You were a stranger and I didn’t invite You in.” Was this a test Lord? Would she have come home with me if I’d asked her? She was maybe 50 or 60, had clear eyes, light, pale blue eyes, small features, soft spoken. I wondered if she was not all there. I even pray Ephesians 6:19-20 “that whenever I open my mouth words may be given me so that I would fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel and that I would declare it fearlessly as I should. “ I was oblivious to our surroundings not knowing or caring if anyone was watching. What else could I have said to her other than the obvious to come home with me. I’m wondering why when I’m presented with a perfect opportunity to be Jesus to someone I didn’t say the right things and like in Eph 6:19 words weren’t “given me”. I had the chance to glorify God and not only I didn’t take it but I totally blew it. September 7, 2013 Reading 2 Corinthians 10:5 with new understanding today. “Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ”. It was head knowledge until a friend said it to me as I ran crying from church in 2003. I didn’t know I was under spiritual attack and those words and Christ gave me almost instant deliverance. Today I think of the 3 “thoughts” I had last night that I wasn’t immediately obedient in going to talk to this woman. Then I read 2 Cor 10:5 again, the part about “demolishing arguments and every high minded thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God.” God very clearly said “give her a home” and right away I’m thinking He can’t mean my place, it’s only a one bedroom apartment, I don’t have a bed for her, she’s a total stranger, the neighbours would freak if they saw me bringing a homeless woman in. So all in all I wasn’t obedient to God or His word. I set myself up against what I knew to be the knowledge of God. Today I went back to Walmart thinking if I saw her there I knew I had to take her home. Needless to say she wasn’t there. I asked management about her if they had seen her yesterday and if someone had taken her anywhere. I usually notice street people and I had never seen this lady before. A friend was working at Walmart today and I asked if she would look for her when she left. I told my friend what had happened and she said you don’t get a second chance to get it right but that you get another opportunity to get it right. I pray I get it right next time. Partial obedience in not obedience at all.

Being silly

At church last weekend men and women were throwing silk scarves up in the air making a tunnel and others were running through the tunnel. They were joyful and child-like in their silliness. I turned to my friend and said I've never been able to be silly. It brought to mind times as a child when I was told don't be silly. I had never thought of it before and was surprised at how words can impact us. I thought of all the funny faces of people on facebook and wondered why people make faces. Just being silly I guess. I have joy because Jesus loves me and I love Him but I don't have fun just being silly. I'll have to work on that.

From Radical Lesbian to Redeemed Christian: An Autobiographical Interview with Rosaria Champagne Butterfield

An excellent interview posted on John Pipers blog. From homosexual to Heterosexual

Do homosexuals go to heaven?

When people sin we try to hide them. Lying, theft, adultery, murder, we want to hide them. We know that they are wrong and we don't want people to find out about them. If we commit adultery our spouse will most likely divorce us, we could lose financially, we could lose our children, we could lose the respect of others, so we try to hide it. If we commit crimes against the law of the land like theft, murder, lying (perjury) arson, drunk driving, etc. we want to hide them because we don't want to get caught and go to jail. Why are homosexuals the only ones that take 'pride' in their sins. In the same way that most people naturally try to hide their sins it is only unnatural relations that unnaturally flaunt their sins before God. It is not normal human behaviour to admit to wrongdoing. We sometimes go to great lengths to hide our sins. Should that fact that some homosexuals parade themselves in 'pride' not tell us something. It's not normal. Romans 1:24-28 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error. Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. God created Adam and Eve, one man and one woman, to procreate and fill the earth. Two women together or two men together cannot produce offspring. If God had created Adam and Steve instead of Adam and Eve we would not be here. Life on earth would not exist. That should tell you that homosexuality is not normal. That said we are all sinners, every one of us. We are all due the wrath of God. It is only by God's grace and Jesus' redemptive work on the cross that we can be saved. I do not hate homosexuals, liars, adulterers, murders. I hate homosexuality, lying, adultery, murder. My grandson, niece, and daughter's half sister are all homosexuals, I have friends who are homosexual. I love all of them dearly. The bible says these groups of people will not inherit the kingdom of God. I do not want any of my family to spend eternity in hell which is where all these people will unless they turn from their sins and receive Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour. I pray that if you read this and you have been living a life of homosexuality that you will stop believing a lie and start believing the truth. Jesus Christ is the truth and only He can, and will if you ask Him, set you free. The truth is you were created in the image of God and He gave His only Son Jesus Christ to pay the penalty for your sins and that whoever believes in Him will not die but have eternal life. Jesus died to reconcile you to God the Father. If you are not reconciled to God the Father through Jesus Christ you will suffer the wrath of God and spend eternity in hell.

Faith to believe I'm healed

Studying the book of James with Beth Moore's dvd teaching I was getting a new understanding of faith May 20. The oncologist has repeatedly told me that the cancer I was diagnosed with was terminal and incurable and that the tumour destroyed by chemo would come back. I have told him Jesus was going to heal me. Jesus gave me a promise to heal me, He confirmed it 3 days later through someone else and now tells me I'm healed. I'm going to believe Him. I continued to get symptoms and started to wonder if I was really healed. Then I thought of how the devil doesn't want us to believe the truth and will cause us to doubt. I determined right then that I would believe Jesus and I would stand on the personal promise and word that He gave me. Jesus said in Mark 11:23 “Truly I tell you, if anyone... does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. The bible says in James 1:6-7 that when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. James 5:15 And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. Abraham acted on his faith when he was going to sacrifice Isaac and it was credited to him as righteousness.

Jesus healed me of cancer

A couple of years ago I had asked God what He saw when He looked at me. March 8, 2013 I asked God again what He saw when He looked at me. This time He said healed. Thank You Jesus. Praise You Lord!!! He has manifested His promise to me that He gave me 2/26/12 and confirmed 2/29/12. Jesus still heals today.

Rambling thoughts

I started this blog in 2004 when I was going to live in Costa Rica. God had called me to quit my 26 year job, sell the new house I had built and move to CR. A friend said it would be a great way to see what I was doing. Now with facebook I mostly post my thoughts on there. But if you can read my posts it's because I've friended you and some of my thoughts I can't post because they would be hurtful to some people I love and I don't want to hurt those I love. So this morning at church when the speaker was telling us about her blog I thought about resurrecting my blog so I could post my thoughts anonymously. I'm not a writer, never felt anything I had to say was important to anyone, so here I can pour my heart out if I so desire without caring if someone tells me what I say isn't important. If anything I say touches your heart I'm glad. If it moves you to be a better person I'm really glad. I might ramble a bit or a lot. Living alone I don't always have someone to share my thoughts with so I will share them on here. Sometimes I feel I'm supposed to share my thoughts but because I think they would hurt someone I don't, at least not on facebook so I will be sharing them here.

Promise Confirmed

Little did I know when I last posted that God would confirm His promise of healing through someone else 3 days later. I went to bible study and asked if I could share my dream. I shared my dream and the scripture verse and the group's leader's eyes got huge. She said that before coming to church that morning she had asked God if He had a verse for any one of the 13 women in the group. She said it was for me and it was the exact same scripture. Psalm 41:3. Wow! What an awesome God we serve.