i remember my mother telling me this as i grew up... here when a soccer ball comes apart jose takes it apart, repairs the hole and re-stitches it. when shoes come apart they take them apart and re-stitch them until there is absolutely nothing left to hold them together.
when you have nothing you don't waste anything
Sunday, October 24, 2004
forgive me
if i don't respond to all your comments. as i usually only get to an internet about once a week i spend the time blogging and emailing family. i don't have time to enjoy reading everyone's blogs like i used to either but i think of you all all the time.
station x part dos
jose had the 2nd one on friday night and when he called me yesterday he said that they had 40 teenagers there. that is so cool when you consider that the teenagers don't go to church.
last night the new pastor preached and jose called me this morning and said that he's really good and that he speaks softly. thank you Lord. i think this pastor is a sign of good things to come and happen in amparo.
i miss new heights, scott's awesome sermons and all my family there. no one, no church, anywhere will ever replace you. i love to dance too so i really miss street church.
last night the new pastor preached and jose called me this morning and said that he's really good and that he speaks softly. thank you Lord. i think this pastor is a sign of good things to come and happen in amparo.
i miss new heights, scott's awesome sermons and all my family there. no one, no church, anywhere will ever replace you. i love to dance too so i really miss street church.
noise
remind me if i ever complain about the boys music again. i'll take it any day over 8 adults and 2 little boys and 3 dogs all trying to be heard over the other any day. at least it's a nice noise. last night the only one that wasn't practically yelling was me. it wasn't just one conversation but several and everyone had to talk louder than the other so they would be heard by the person they were talking to. 2 boys, maybe 4 & 5, yelling and the adults paying no attention to it and 2 poodles barking incessantly at a 3 month old smaller version of chainsaw. i wanted to take the puppy and leave. and all this in a room no bigger than 10 x 15 maybe. the roar was deafening. i've never had a headache come on so quickly. and this morning they said there was only a few of them there last night. they all have rather large families and there normally would've been a lot more people there. they are all very nice but i can't handle the noise. it really is deafening.
not sure if it was a God thing or not but yesterday i had bought some tylenol. boy did it come in handy. it turned out they had gathered to go to church, catholic, which i think the headache was another God thing cuz i wouldn't have wanted to go to the catholic church. i had already made a faux pas by telling my hostess that i didn't believe in mary. i said i believed in God to which she replied so did she. i should've re-phrased and said i worshiped Jesus, not mary but for as much as i would debate the issue in amparo i didn't want to insult my hostess in her home when i can't just walk away after i've ticked her off. a few of you that know me may have noticed that i sometimes tend to be blunt. and sometimes maybe not very tactful.
not sure if it was a God thing or not but yesterday i had bought some tylenol. boy did it come in handy. it turned out they had gathered to go to church, catholic, which i think the headache was another God thing cuz i wouldn't have wanted to go to the catholic church. i had already made a faux pas by telling my hostess that i didn't believe in mary. i said i believed in God to which she replied so did she. i should've re-phrased and said i worshiped Jesus, not mary but for as much as i would debate the issue in amparo i didn't want to insult my hostess in her home when i can't just walk away after i've ticked her off. a few of you that know me may have noticed that i sometimes tend to be blunt. and sometimes maybe not very tactful.
Friday, October 22, 2004
women drivers
maybe the guys are right. i get into the car and trust that i am in God's hands (and then i close my eyes - kidding) it's a good thing that i find comfort in Him cuz i sure don't driving around san ramon. i try and walk everywhere. although when xinia's brother came to get us i wondered about him too. it's raining so hard the streets are flooding and the water is up over the sidewalks and the drivers side wiper rubber part is moving independently from the arm and he's a mechanic. i'm thinking omg we're going to san jose in this. thankfully we're taking the bus.
seasons
of light and darkness. i have had many seasons of darkness. for the past year i have been enjoying a wonderful season of joy.
yesterday sushi said how healing it must be for me here. i hadn't thought of the word healing but maybe it is. i have been living alone for the past 13 years and now to have a family of 8 is quite a change. i love them and they love me. i was sad to say goodbye when i knew i was only going for 3 days. i miss them and it's only been 2 days. i wished i had hugged danny, i almost felt like he wanted me to. i'm a touchy feely person - i always hug and kiss my grandchildren or even just rub their head or arm, just to affectionately touch them like they can feel my love through my touch. i worry about them when they are hurt, i care for them when they are sick. i don't know how i will ever leave. i told sushi i may need someone to come and get me. it may be a season of darkness having to leave. another friend said that God may tell me He has something else for me to do in which case it may not be so hard to leave. He is my comfort, my strength, my joy, my life, my love and it is the desire of my heart to follow Him so i will wait on my Lord as i know He is the only one that can deliver me.
yesterday sushi said how healing it must be for me here. i hadn't thought of the word healing but maybe it is. i have been living alone for the past 13 years and now to have a family of 8 is quite a change. i love them and they love me. i was sad to say goodbye when i knew i was only going for 3 days. i miss them and it's only been 2 days. i wished i had hugged danny, i almost felt like he wanted me to. i'm a touchy feely person - i always hug and kiss my grandchildren or even just rub their head or arm, just to affectionately touch them like they can feel my love through my touch. i worry about them when they are hurt, i care for them when they are sick. i don't know how i will ever leave. i told sushi i may need someone to come and get me. it may be a season of darkness having to leave. another friend said that God may tell me He has something else for me to do in which case it may not be so hard to leave. He is my comfort, my strength, my joy, my life, my love and it is the desire of my heart to follow Him so i will wait on my Lord as i know He is the only one that can deliver me.
boys in the country vs girls in the city
10/22 spent the day eating, drinking cafe and trying to understand 6 women all trying to talk over each other all at the same time then asking me something.
the boys play their music very loud and all day long unless they are watching a soccer game and then they have that volume cranked. the girls just wanna talk, each one louder than the other, all about different things and when the rooms are pretty small it can be quite deafening.
you'll have to speak loudly to me when i return because i'm sure i'll be deaf. the real killer is when i put on headphones after the boys have been listening to my cd player. i never remember to turn the volume down before i put them on and as you might guess the volume is always cranked.
the boys play their music very loud and all day long unless they are watching a soccer game and then they have that volume cranked. the girls just wanna talk, each one louder than the other, all about different things and when the rooms are pretty small it can be quite deafening.
you'll have to speak loudly to me when i return because i'm sure i'll be deaf. the real killer is when i put on headphones after the boys have been listening to my cd player. i never remember to turn the volume down before i put them on and as you might guess the volume is always cranked.
new pastor
10/21
they hired a new pastor. his name is jose, he's 24, he's married with a new baby on the way and he's from guatemala (and he speaks softly - YES!) i'm looking forward to seeing him on sunday. because of his age he will probably be geared to the youth. which they need so badly. that and with jose doing station x on friday nights there should be some be changes in amparo. i'm excited about it. instead of church on tuesday, thursday, saturday and sunday it will be wednesday, sat & sun. although on sunday he wants to start at 5 instead of 6. the boys barely get home by six from their soccer games.
they hired a new pastor. his name is jose, he's 24, he's married with a new baby on the way and he's from guatemala (and he speaks softly - YES!) i'm looking forward to seeing him on sunday. because of his age he will probably be geared to the youth. which they need so badly. that and with jose doing station x on friday nights there should be some be changes in amparo. i'm excited about it. instead of church on tuesday, thursday, saturday and sunday it will be wednesday, sat & sun. although on sunday he wants to start at 5 instead of 6. the boys barely get home by six from their soccer games.
danny
10/21
Father how am i ever going to say goodbye in a year. it was hard enough to say goodbye when i left today for only a few days. danny had just got off the school bus - i wanted to hug him but he's 17 and i'm not his mother. when i left jose told me to call if i needed them. danny told me to call then he wrote all the #'s down that i would need and the directions on how to use the phones here and told me to be careful. he is so sweet. jose called just after we got to san ramon. i could hear danny and mimi in the background.
Father how am i ever going to say goodbye in a year. it was hard enough to say goodbye when i left today for only a few days. danny had just got off the school bus - i wanted to hug him but he's 17 and i'm not his mother. when i left jose told me to call if i needed them. danny told me to call then he wrote all the #'s down that i would need and the directions on how to use the phones here and told me to be careful. he is so sweet. jose called just after we got to san ramon. i could hear danny and mimi in the background.
futbol
10/20
what i have learned about playing soccer - maybe you shouldn't start playing at 55, you shouldn't wear a toe ring, you definitely should play with good sandals on, always have a first aid kit on hand, make sure your medical is up to date, don't play in the sun unless you have sun screen on, don't play against someone who seriously wants to win, it's not volleyball and you're not supposed to use your hands and as long as you've got the toe ring and the sandals covered forget the rest and play like you're 15.
10/21 you're going to hurt.
10/22 you're going to hurt for a long time.
at least until you play the next time. maybe then it won't hurt so much.
kidding - i had a blast.
not kidding - muscles you never use are going to hurt.
what i have learned about playing soccer - maybe you shouldn't start playing at 55, you shouldn't wear a toe ring, you definitely should play with good sandals on, always have a first aid kit on hand, make sure your medical is up to date, don't play in the sun unless you have sun screen on, don't play against someone who seriously wants to win, it's not volleyball and you're not supposed to use your hands and as long as you've got the toe ring and the sandals covered forget the rest and play like you're 15.
10/21 you're going to hurt.
10/22 you're going to hurt for a long time.
at least until you play the next time. maybe then it won't hurt so much.
kidding - i had a blast.
not kidding - muscles you never use are going to hurt.
origami
10/19
xinia has invited me to spend a few days with her and her family in san ramon this week while school is out. when i went to her house to see what time we were leaving she ended up teaching me origami. who would've thought. i'm not sure why she invited me - they don't speak any english. but it will be an adventure.
xinia has invited me to spend a few days with her and her family in san ramon this week while school is out. when i went to her house to see what time we were leaving she ended up teaching me origami. who would've thought. i'm not sure why she invited me - they don't speak any english. but it will be an adventure.
today
10/19
was pretty cool. i went to josefa's and took yrlin and jeffrey to school for lunch. mary wasn't there so there was no problem. i know josefa understood where i was taken them although i didn't have a clue what she was saying to me. even though we don't speak the same words we know our hearts understand each other. yrlin reminded me of my youngest grandson brett. (they're both 8) he saw me, his face lit up and he ran towards me to hug me. awesome! i could feel their anxiety as we walked into the school yard and the only thing i could think of to say that i knew they would understand was don't be afraid - Jesus is walking with us. they were dirty and i felt like a mother hen wanting to protect her chicks if they were made to feel unwelcome.
mary was there when i took them home and i told her there was no more school this week but that the boys should go to school every day for lunch. she said yes again but we'll see.
was pretty cool. i went to josefa's and took yrlin and jeffrey to school for lunch. mary wasn't there so there was no problem. i know josefa understood where i was taken them although i didn't have a clue what she was saying to me. even though we don't speak the same words we know our hearts understand each other. yrlin reminded me of my youngest grandson brett. (they're both 8) he saw me, his face lit up and he ran towards me to hug me. awesome! i could feel their anxiety as we walked into the school yard and the only thing i could think of to say that i knew they would understand was don't be afraid - Jesus is walking with us. they were dirty and i felt like a mother hen wanting to protect her chicks if they were made to feel unwelcome.
mary was there when i took them home and i told her there was no more school this week but that the boys should go to school every day for lunch. she said yes again but we'll see.
fear
10/18
if you want to walk on water talks a lot about fear. at first i was writing NO beside fear but now there's a whole chapter on it. for me it all goes back to yesterday's blog. mark 12:30 = love. not fear. love = joy, fear = no joy, fear = worry. my life is filled with joy and no fear, no worry, then on page 128 it says 'according to current research most worriers tend to have high capacity imaginations... above average iq's.... and much creative potential." that let's me out - maybe there's something to be said for being simple minded. my mind is not filled with fear, worry, doubt, guilt, loss of self esteem. for all those things i don't have my heart is filled with love and joy.
i have often wondered why i feel such joy and others don't and someone, whose opinion i truly value, once told me that i just feel things more deeply than other people.
i do try to avoid conflict so i guess there is some fear involved there but it would be so rare.
let me clarify - i am saying no fear as it relates to doing something for God, getting out of the boat. it just seems to be that there can't be any fear in serving God. He fills us with love and He gives us the joy, the strength the whatever it is we need to do for whatever it is He wants us to do. if we leave it all in His hands - no fear. it's only when we try and depend on our own abilities that we might fear failure.
complete surrender brings the greatest love and the greatest joy.
if you want to walk on water talks a lot about fear. at first i was writing NO beside fear but now there's a whole chapter on it. for me it all goes back to yesterday's blog. mark 12:30 = love. not fear. love = joy, fear = no joy, fear = worry. my life is filled with joy and no fear, no worry, then on page 128 it says 'according to current research most worriers tend to have high capacity imaginations... above average iq's.... and much creative potential." that let's me out - maybe there's something to be said for being simple minded. my mind is not filled with fear, worry, doubt, guilt, loss of self esteem. for all those things i don't have my heart is filled with love and joy.
i have often wondered why i feel such joy and others don't and someone, whose opinion i truly value, once told me that i just feel things more deeply than other people.
i do try to avoid conflict so i guess there is some fear involved there but it would be so rare.
let me clarify - i am saying no fear as it relates to doing something for God, getting out of the boat. it just seems to be that there can't be any fear in serving God. He fills us with love and He gives us the joy, the strength the whatever it is we need to do for whatever it is He wants us to do. if we leave it all in His hands - no fear. it's only when we try and depend on our own abilities that we might fear failure.
complete surrender brings the greatest love and the greatest joy.
what is it...
10/17
that motivates us to do the things we do. don't laugh but i have wondered if i am simple minded. it all seems so simple to me. mark 12:30 what else is there? everything else stems from that. it's not that i love others less - it's because of this that i love others more.
i have several books on the go right now. decision making and the will of God and if you want to walk on water you have to get out of the boat. the first says not to be hasty, especially making important decisions, the 2nd i will have to discern between a call from God and a .... foolish impulse on my part and having guilt after making a decision or fear before making it and allowing nothing to interfere with seizing an opportunity 'at once' because you might never get another chance.
my desire to be in cr long term has developed over the last 2 years when susy went but it was only when i came home in march that i could see God's hand in it and only in the last week of july that i seized the opportunity. all of this only after God removed the obstacles. no fear! (not counting spiders - today when i saw one i didn't scream or call for one of the boys to kill it. i thought that's life - get used to it and kept doing what i was doing. mind you it was only a couple of inches long and it was not moving but for me that's a huge thing. a total God thing. (10/19 beside my bed - totally different thing. jose said he killed it but after checking my sandal for a corpse he told me it got away).
that motivates us to do the things we do. don't laugh but i have wondered if i am simple minded. it all seems so simple to me. mark 12:30 what else is there? everything else stems from that. it's not that i love others less - it's because of this that i love others more.
i have several books on the go right now. decision making and the will of God and if you want to walk on water you have to get out of the boat. the first says not to be hasty, especially making important decisions, the 2nd i will have to discern between a call from God and a .... foolish impulse on my part and having guilt after making a decision or fear before making it and allowing nothing to interfere with seizing an opportunity 'at once' because you might never get another chance.
my desire to be in cr long term has developed over the last 2 years when susy went but it was only when i came home in march that i could see God's hand in it and only in the last week of july that i seized the opportunity. all of this only after God removed the obstacles. no fear! (not counting spiders - today when i saw one i didn't scream or call for one of the boys to kill it. i thought that's life - get used to it and kept doing what i was doing. mind you it was only a couple of inches long and it was not moving but for me that's a huge thing. a total God thing. (10/19 beside my bed - totally different thing. jose said he killed it but after checking my sandal for a corpse he told me it got away).
the passion
10/16
watched it at church for the first time. danny said to go up close so i could read the words in english. i said no that's ok. i know the story and a very small tv with dark contrast is enough for me. i cried lots, closed my eyes lots and prayed. don't know that i could've watched it on a large screen at the theatre
watched it at church for the first time. danny said to go up close so i could read the words in english. i said no that's ok. i know the story and a very small tv with dark contrast is enough for me. i cried lots, closed my eyes lots and prayed. don't know that i could've watched it on a large screen at the theatre
guanabana (that large green prickly looking thing in the produce section)
10/16
is a fruit and makes wonderful juice. peel the green skin off with your fingers, scrape off the very top layer and discard, put chunks, seeds too, in the blender and add water, not quite equal parts and blend for maybe 15 seconds, then strain the juice into a jug, add sugar and drink. 1 guanabana made 3 very large jugs - it's delicious.
is a fruit and makes wonderful juice. peel the green skin off with your fingers, scrape off the very top layer and discard, put chunks, seeds too, in the blender and add water, not quite equal parts and blend for maybe 15 seconds, then strain the juice into a jug, add sugar and drink. 1 guanabana made 3 very large jugs - it's delicious.
a new pastor
10/15
next wednesday the church supervisor will be here to talk about hiring a new pastor. i have been praying that it will be someone that doesn't scream their sermons at you, the reason the youth don't got to church. although i have no idea what they're saying it sounds like they're preaching brimstone and hellfire so i tune right out as do 2 of the boys i've talked to. they listen, as do i when jose preaches softly and slowly.
next wednesday the church supervisor will be here to talk about hiring a new pastor. i have been praying that it will be someone that doesn't scream their sermons at you, the reason the youth don't got to church. although i have no idea what they're saying it sounds like they're preaching brimstone and hellfire so i tune right out as do 2 of the boys i've talked to. they listen, as do i when jose preaches softly and slowly.
station x costa rican style
10/15
it was awesome. jose got the band in the box receiver (?) fixed, connected the cd discman to it, had a bonfire behind the church and jose and christian (16) sang for and with about 15 other teens. it's going to be a regular occurrence on friday nights. after a couple of hours singing songs they had a circle and he talked about God. so cool. and so needed here because the youth don't go to church.
it was awesome. jose got the band in the box receiver (?) fixed, connected the cd discman to it, had a bonfire behind the church and jose and christian (16) sang for and with about 15 other teens. it's going to be a regular occurrence on friday nights. after a couple of hours singing songs they had a circle and he talked about God. so cool. and so needed here because the youth don't go to church.
josefa y los niños
10/15
today when i took bread over to los niños i gave 1 piece to each person individually so i could see that they were each getting some. bread there is nothing like bread here - it's delicious. leo wouldn't come to the house to get his bread and when i asked why mary said he was afraid of me. certainly not the same little boy i saw all the time in august. he won't come near me now yet in august he would lift his arms every day for me to pick him up. now he eyes me warily from behind mary's back.
mary's eye is swollen today. when i saw it i wondered if her brother had hit her. he just seems to lay around and do nothing. she said it was from an ant. not! when i told patrico he said that she goes to the cantina and parties and she was there last night. they say she is very smart and maybe there's a big s on my forehead but patricio told her that the food was for the children and adults. josefa is old and sick and very tired and knows what's going on but is powerless to stop it. i don't know how often her children pop into her life but she has been raising los niños by herself for a long time. it's almost like she's hanging on for them. a couple times yrlin and jeffrey came here to play marbles but they don't come anymore. today yrlin gave me a really tight hug. jose said mary is mean to her children and leo is told to fear me.
today when i took bread over to los niños i gave 1 piece to each person individually so i could see that they were each getting some. bread there is nothing like bread here - it's delicious. leo wouldn't come to the house to get his bread and when i asked why mary said he was afraid of me. certainly not the same little boy i saw all the time in august. he won't come near me now yet in august he would lift his arms every day for me to pick him up. now he eyes me warily from behind mary's back.
mary's eye is swollen today. when i saw it i wondered if her brother had hit her. he just seems to lay around and do nothing. she said it was from an ant. not! when i told patrico he said that she goes to the cantina and parties and she was there last night. they say she is very smart and maybe there's a big s on my forehead but patricio told her that the food was for the children and adults. josefa is old and sick and very tired and knows what's going on but is powerless to stop it. i don't know how often her children pop into her life but she has been raising los niños by herself for a long time. it's almost like she's hanging on for them. a couple times yrlin and jeffrey came here to play marbles but they don't come anymore. today yrlin gave me a really tight hug. jose said mary is mean to her children and leo is told to fear me.
chico
10/15
as i think of venturing out on my own i learn that chico is going to sta cecilia so after being told that it's 8 kms and asked if i'm sure i want to walk (they think i'm crazy) we're on our way. we had a nice leisurely walk and i taught chico english the whole way. it was hot and we were slap but we had fun.
chico is a nicaraguan boy abandoned by his family and bounced around since he was very little and i guess taken in and cared for by whoever had the means at the time. he has no idea who his parents are, where or when he was born, how old he is, nada. the family took him in a year or so ago and is in the process of trying to adopt him. they gave him a birthday of 9/28 and made him 16. i thought of hopping a bus to sta rosa but there is a border patrol between here and there and they board the bus looking for nicas and take them off the bus to send them back to nicarauga. without id papers chico is basically confined to the few small villages between here and the border, about 26 kms away. life moves very slowly here so it could take a very long time to get id papers for him.
los niños are also nicas and without id papers but after talking to xinia, a very kind, caring, sweet teacher here she will have a lawyer friend see about getting id for los niños so by the time they are old enough to need them they will have them.
as i think of venturing out on my own i learn that chico is going to sta cecilia so after being told that it's 8 kms and asked if i'm sure i want to walk (they think i'm crazy) we're on our way. we had a nice leisurely walk and i taught chico english the whole way. it was hot and we were slap but we had fun.
chico is a nicaraguan boy abandoned by his family and bounced around since he was very little and i guess taken in and cared for by whoever had the means at the time. he has no idea who his parents are, where or when he was born, how old he is, nada. the family took him in a year or so ago and is in the process of trying to adopt him. they gave him a birthday of 9/28 and made him 16. i thought of hopping a bus to sta rosa but there is a border patrol between here and there and they board the bus looking for nicas and take them off the bus to send them back to nicarauga. without id papers chico is basically confined to the few small villages between here and the border, about 26 kms away. life moves very slowly here so it could take a very long time to get id papers for him.
los niños are also nicas and without id papers but after talking to xinia, a very kind, caring, sweet teacher here she will have a lawyer friend see about getting id for los niños so by the time they are old enough to need them they will have them.
love the country but
10/15
obviously not a country girl. 2 days ago chico tells me there's a chicken in the sink. i think mm chicken for dinner. as i approach the sink i see feet, with toenails, sticking up out of the sink. oh gross! it was as stiff with rigor as any frozen bird in the store but i couldn't pick it up without using a cloth. susy told me she had to learn to kill chickens for dinner and i told her we wouldn't be eating chicken. i'm sure i could quite easily kill a rooster though but like only with a gun, but there's no way i could ever decapitate it, never mind deplume (?) it. well we did have chicken that night, thanks in no part to myself and you can be sure that the feet were in the pot as sure as you can be that they weren't on my plate.
obviously not a country girl. 2 days ago chico tells me there's a chicken in the sink. i think mm chicken for dinner. as i approach the sink i see feet, with toenails, sticking up out of the sink. oh gross! it was as stiff with rigor as any frozen bird in the store but i couldn't pick it up without using a cloth. susy told me she had to learn to kill chickens for dinner and i told her we wouldn't be eating chicken. i'm sure i could quite easily kill a rooster though but like only with a gun, but there's no way i could ever decapitate it, never mind deplume (?) it. well we did have chicken that night, thanks in no part to myself and you can be sure that the feet were in the pot as sure as you can be that they weren't on my plate.
i'm not prone to violence...
10/15
in fact it makes my physically ill and i have to run away and i think boxing is the stupidest sport (?) ever invented. but last night as jose and i walked home i was 'shooting' at all the roosters i saw. i saw one, lifted my 'gun' and fired. as my gaze lifted i saw a woman sitting in her doorway directly in line with my line of fire. i was taken aback and as i took a few more steps i saw 2 little children about 2 or 3 years old that had also been in my line of fire but were hidden from view by the tall grass. they stare curiously at this white freak of nature and in horror i pray that they can't grasp the meaning of my actions and wonder if i had been aiming at them. thankfully cr is a peaceful country and they have never known war.
in fact it makes my physically ill and i have to run away and i think boxing is the stupidest sport (?) ever invented. but last night as jose and i walked home i was 'shooting' at all the roosters i saw. i saw one, lifted my 'gun' and fired. as my gaze lifted i saw a woman sitting in her doorway directly in line with my line of fire. i was taken aback and as i took a few more steps i saw 2 little children about 2 or 3 years old that had also been in my line of fire but were hidden from view by the tall grass. they stare curiously at this white freak of nature and in horror i pray that they can't grasp the meaning of my actions and wonder if i had been aiming at them. thankfully cr is a peaceful country and they have never known war.
sounds in the night
10/15
howler monkeys in the distance, fierce sounding growls from cute little monkeys that would scare the crap out of you if you were walking through the jungle, the sun was setting and the light was getting dim. the night that's rent by the sounds of the boys cd full blast at 5 a.m. - their 30 second alarm clock, the crickets (?) with their constant high pitch, the songs of the various birds as they awaken (i've never been quiet or still long enough i guess to hear them before) soft sounds of the boys as they struggle through various layers of consciousness trying to wake fully, the creaking beds as they move on them, someone snoring softly and of course the never ending screech of the roosters in the neighbourhood and in particular the one outside my window. as dawn breaks and the house comes alive the sound of laundry going on, food cooking, quiet footfalls and then the sound of kilometros as it is cycled repeatedly, quietly on the cd player. i can no longer hear the rats scurrying beneath my bed or the other sounds of the night that i wonder about.
howler monkeys in the distance, fierce sounding growls from cute little monkeys that would scare the crap out of you if you were walking through the jungle, the sun was setting and the light was getting dim. the night that's rent by the sounds of the boys cd full blast at 5 a.m. - their 30 second alarm clock, the crickets (?) with their constant high pitch, the songs of the various birds as they awaken (i've never been quiet or still long enough i guess to hear them before) soft sounds of the boys as they struggle through various layers of consciousness trying to wake fully, the creaking beds as they move on them, someone snoring softly and of course the never ending screech of the roosters in the neighbourhood and in particular the one outside my window. as dawn breaks and the house comes alive the sound of laundry going on, food cooking, quiet footfalls and then the sound of kilometros as it is cycled repeatedly, quietly on the cd player. i can no longer hear the rats scurrying beneath my bed or the other sounds of the night that i wonder about.
believe
10/14
i was saddened today with news from home and angered that the enemy causes so much division and havoc in our lives. i remember a year ago when i knew the words of 2 cor 10:5 taking every thought captive to Christ. i didn't understand them or believe them or get them until howard said them to me. it was a new beginning for me. i came out of the darkness and into the light. for those of you still struggling in darkness please believe those words. whatever crap the enemy is feeding you take it to Christ and let Him tell you the truth. believe the One who cannot lie and don't listen to the father of lies that's keeping you from finding your way into the light. believe everything that's keeping you in darkness is a lie. God wants you to be in the light... believe Him.
i was saddened today with news from home and angered that the enemy causes so much division and havoc in our lives. i remember a year ago when i knew the words of 2 cor 10:5 taking every thought captive to Christ. i didn't understand them or believe them or get them until howard said them to me. it was a new beginning for me. i came out of the darkness and into the light. for those of you still struggling in darkness please believe those words. whatever crap the enemy is feeding you take it to Christ and let Him tell you the truth. believe the One who cannot lie and don't listen to the father of lies that's keeping you from finding your way into the light. believe everything that's keeping you in darkness is a lie. God wants you to be in the light... believe Him.
i'm not a heavyweight...
10/14
but as i tiptoe across the boys beds searching for a slat on which to place my foot to hang laundry i wonder when i am going to break one of their beds. the slats of wood that make up their beds groan and bend under my weight. i hear them fall to the floor in the middle of the night as the boys shift their weight.
but as i tiptoe across the boys beds searching for a slat on which to place my foot to hang laundry i wonder when i am going to break one of their beds. the slats of wood that make up their beds groan and bend under my weight. i hear them fall to the floor in the middle of the night as the boys shift their weight.
the sadness of costa rica
10/14
the tears on a little 6 year old boys face when an apple is taken away from him as he cries that he is hungry. it breaks my heart and i cry for him. such a simple thing and i think how he would long for a 1-2 eaten discarded apple thrown from a north american child's lunch. i think of Jesus saying to let the little children come to Him and how He would take care of them and wonder how we can do any less. his face will forever be imprinted on my mind sitting in the dirt crying that he is hungry.
just a few children in one remote small village in cr. they are too numerous to mention and dot the countryside everywhere. they get up with the sun and go to bed when it's set without money to buy candles to provide light.
they are at least not as poor as other children of the world. their bellies are not distended as many i've seen on tv. they are not so malnourished as some i've seen that their black hair is turning orange from lack of nutrition. this is a sin no matter how you look at it.
the tears on a little 6 year old boys face when an apple is taken away from him as he cries that he is hungry. it breaks my heart and i cry for him. such a simple thing and i think how he would long for a 1-2 eaten discarded apple thrown from a north american child's lunch. i think of Jesus saying to let the little children come to Him and how He would take care of them and wonder how we can do any less. his face will forever be imprinted on my mind sitting in the dirt crying that he is hungry.
just a few children in one remote small village in cr. they are too numerous to mention and dot the countryside everywhere. they get up with the sun and go to bed when it's set without money to buy candles to provide light.
they are at least not as poor as other children of the world. their bellies are not distended as many i've seen on tv. they are not so malnourished as some i've seen that their black hair is turning orange from lack of nutrition. this is a sin no matter how you look at it.
the beauty of costa rica
10/14
is everywhere i look and is visible even in the smiles on the faces of the children playing in the dirt. actually that's what's most beautiful. they have nothing, are literally dirt poor but they are so happy. brother plays with brother instead of invididuals spending time in solitary pursuits, ie game boys. the more we give our kids the less we give them.
i love trees and nature and it's awesome here. i had a 12' fig tree that was beautiful. i saw one here that's 300 plus years old and it's humungous. they are literally everywhere. and palm trees - oh palm trees - what more needs to be said. poinsettia's growing wild. everything we strive to grow in our homes are everywhere i look. bright, beautiful fragrant flowers. it's truly a garden of delight, beautiful lush greenery, a variety of beautiful birds and butterflies... would the garden of eden been more beautiful.
watching from above the lightning in the thunder clouds and now from below i´m in awe of God, of His power and the beauty of His creation and i´m thankful He has placed me in the garden ever so briefly.
is everywhere i look and is visible even in the smiles on the faces of the children playing in the dirt. actually that's what's most beautiful. they have nothing, are literally dirt poor but they are so happy. brother plays with brother instead of invididuals spending time in solitary pursuits, ie game boys. the more we give our kids the less we give them.
i love trees and nature and it's awesome here. i had a 12' fig tree that was beautiful. i saw one here that's 300 plus years old and it's humungous. they are literally everywhere. and palm trees - oh palm trees - what more needs to be said. poinsettia's growing wild. everything we strive to grow in our homes are everywhere i look. bright, beautiful fragrant flowers. it's truly a garden of delight, beautiful lush greenery, a variety of beautiful birds and butterflies... would the garden of eden been more beautiful.
watching from above the lightning in the thunder clouds and now from below i´m in awe of God, of His power and the beauty of His creation and i´m thankful He has placed me in the garden ever so briefly.
the goodness of God
is never ending, always there, although sometimes we fail to recognize it.
last week when danny and i walked home from the highway (it's 8 kms) it was dark and we couldn't see but we saw a beautiful starlit sky unlike anything seen in the city. it's rainy season but God held back the rain and made our path dry.
today jose and i made it home in daylight and were sheltered from the burning sun with a clouded sky. birds sang to us with heavenly voices along our walk.
definitely not the cacophony of all the roosters in the neighbourhood in the middle of the night. i have yet to recognize goodness in that although as God is everywhere all the time and He is good there's gotta be something there.
last week when danny and i walked home from the highway (it's 8 kms) it was dark and we couldn't see but we saw a beautiful starlit sky unlike anything seen in the city. it's rainy season but God held back the rain and made our path dry.
today jose and i made it home in daylight and were sheltered from the burning sun with a clouded sky. birds sang to us with heavenly voices along our walk.
definitely not the cacophony of all the roosters in the neighbourhood in the middle of the night. i have yet to recognize goodness in that although as God is everywhere all the time and He is good there's gotta be something there.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
scott... i'm sorry
today - thursday
that i ever laughed when you wanted to kill the roosters. i don't know why i didn't hear them in august. jose said they were there.
i used to take sleeping pills on our 2 week mission trips. i didn't think there was any other way to get through the night without waking up and if i'd woken up and seen one of the huge freaking spiders i would've freaked.
i took them with me in august but didn't use them and i slept like a baby - now??? i wonder when i will sleep again.
please give susan a gun to bring to me so i can kill the roosters.
that i ever laughed when you wanted to kill the roosters. i don't know why i didn't hear them in august. jose said they were there.
i used to take sleeping pills on our 2 week mission trips. i didn't think there was any other way to get through the night without waking up and if i'd woken up and seen one of the huge freaking spiders i would've freaked.
i took them with me in august but didn't use them and i slept like a baby - now??? i wonder when i will sleep again.
please give susan a gun to bring to me so i can kill the roosters.
faithful
10.wednesday
i'm so glad that One of us is faithful. even though yesterday i doubted my decision to come here for a year and wondered why i'm here God made it all worthwhile when i went to josefa's house. when yrlin came in and saw me his face lit up and he came over and put his arms around my neck.
i asked mary if she would let yrlin and jeffrey go to the school to have lunch and she said yes. (they had been going but she took them out - no one knows why)
judy is the 14 year old girl in josefa's house and i was teaching her and mary some english. mary seems a little less distrustful of me today.
i'm so glad that One of us is faithful. even though yesterday i doubted my decision to come here for a year and wondered why i'm here God made it all worthwhile when i went to josefa's house. when yrlin came in and saw me his face lit up and he came over and put his arms around my neck.
i asked mary if she would let yrlin and jeffrey go to the school to have lunch and she said yes. (they had been going but she took them out - no one knows why)
judy is the 14 year old girl in josefa's house and i was teaching her and mary some english. mary seems a little less distrustful of me today.
josefa's house
10.12
there have been several people at josefa's house and today i learned that they live there. the man is one of her sons and his two sons and another girl that is 14. 9 people share this tiny little house with dirt floors and no doors, bamboo and black plastic walls. i used to think my bathrooms were really small, and i had 2. neither of their bedrooms is as big as either of my bathrooms were. josefa and leo shared 1 bed and yrlin and jeffrey shared a hammock above them. the other 'room' was where they hung their clothes to dry. 1 can't imagine where they all sleep now.
the family says mary and her brother eat the food and the children go hungry.
there have been several people at josefa's house and today i learned that they live there. the man is one of her sons and his two sons and another girl that is 14. 9 people share this tiny little house with dirt floors and no doors, bamboo and black plastic walls. i used to think my bathrooms were really small, and i had 2. neither of their bedrooms is as big as either of my bathrooms were. josefa and leo shared 1 bed and yrlin and jeffrey shared a hammock above them. the other 'room' was where they hung their clothes to dry. 1 can't imagine where they all sleep now.
the family says mary and her brother eat the food and the children go hungry.
doubt
10.12
suzy didn't have the resources to live on her own nor would she have been allowed to. i don't have those same restrictions but i wonder why i'm here and what i am here to learn and if i will last a year and if it was Your will in the first place.
i've worked for the last 40 years. was i premature in quitting my job and selling my house? what am i supposed to do for the next year?
suzy didn't have the resources to live on her own nor would she have been allowed to. i don't have those same restrictions but i wonder why i'm here and what i am here to learn and if i will last a year and if it was Your will in the first place.
i've worked for the last 40 years. was i premature in quitting my job and selling my house? what am i supposed to do for the next year?
privacy
10.12
my room is my private space for the most part until we get a new monitor then it's the games room / homework room. and no longer my own. then it will be shared with 1 to 3 people.
thinking of susy and what she told me - i never thought it would happen so fast.
(i was sick and i'm better now) could i have some cheese with that whine please.
my room is my private space for the most part until we get a new monitor then it's the games room / homework room. and no longer my own. then it will be shared with 1 to 3 people.
thinking of susy and what she told me - i never thought it would happen so fast.
(i was sick and i'm better now) could i have some cheese with that whine please.
quiet
10.12
where do you find it here? i don't remember it always being so loud. the music is always on and it is either loud or louder. there's no escape.
susan asked why i liked the country better than the city to which i replied it's so peaceful. not!
walking home with danny he asked me why i liked it here to which i replied it's so peacful. not!
i'm smiling about it today.
how did i miss this before?
where do you find it here? i don't remember it always being so loud. the music is always on and it is either loud or louder. there's no escape.
susan asked why i liked the country better than the city to which i replied it's so peaceful. not!
walking home with danny he asked me why i liked it here to which i replied it's so peacful. not!
i'm smiling about it today.
how did i miss this before?
sick
04.10.11
all los niños have colds and with everyone greeting everyone with a kiss it's hard not to get sick. when i was packing up i looked at the cold medicine in my cupboard and thought 'nah i won't need it' oh wrong.
all los niños have colds and with everyone greeting everyone with a kiss it's hard not to get sick. when i was packing up i looked at the cold medicine in my cupboard and thought 'nah i won't need it' oh wrong.
dear abby
date 04.10.10
it's funny and sweet at the same time. jose realized in may that he was in love and started asking me about marriage and how to be a good husband. twice divorced and i'm giving marital advice???
now danny is asking me about girls, telling me how he feels about them and asking why they say and do the things they do. he was quite puzzled when i cracked up. i told him men will never understand women as well as we will never understand men.
we have watched him grow up over the past 4 1/2 years and he's growing into a very sweet young man.
it's funny and sweet at the same time. jose realized in may that he was in love and started asking me about marriage and how to be a good husband. twice divorced and i'm giving marital advice???
now danny is asking me about girls, telling me how he feels about them and asking why they say and do the things they do. he was quite puzzled when i cracked up. i told him men will never understand women as well as we will never understand men.
we have watched him grow up over the past 4 1/2 years and he's growing into a very sweet young man.
soccer
date 04.10.09
they live for it here. we watched canada tie honduras before church and cr beat guatemala after church. the house erupts insanely with cheers when a goal is scored (much like canadians at a hockey game). the boys play / practise soccer every night at 5 when it's a little cooler and have games on sundays although they have been winning all their games so the other teams don't want to play them.
10.?
last night we watched canada play cr in vancouver. the family couldn't believe that there were hardly any fans. here they fill a 39k stadium, they shut down the store for a game and they cancel church for a game.
they live for it here. we watched canada tie honduras before church and cr beat guatemala after church. the house erupts insanely with cheers when a goal is scored (much like canadians at a hockey game). the boys play / practise soccer every night at 5 when it's a little cooler and have games on sundays although they have been winning all their games so the other teams don't want to play them.
10.?
last night we watched canada play cr in vancouver. the family couldn't believe that there were hardly any fans. here they fill a 39k stadium, they shut down the store for a game and they cancel church for a game.
praise God
date 04.10.09
jose said they were going to show the passion at church tonight so danny and i went to ask mary if she would like to come and watch the movie. it was so-o cool. she brought yrlin and jeffrey, her neighbour and about 7 little girls. although the vhs was dirty and we didn't watch it maybe a seed was planted.
jose said they were going to show the passion at church tonight so danny and i went to ask mary if she would like to come and watch the movie. it was so-o cool. she brought yrlin and jeffrey, her neighbour and about 7 little girls. although the vhs was dirty and we didn't watch it maybe a seed was planted.
tired
date 04.10.08
spent 3 hours on emails in san carlos today. danny & i left san carlos at 4 and got to santa cecelia @ 6:20 and it was pitch black for most of the way. there had been torrential rains in san carlos but it was a beautiful clear night walking home. although it was pitch black in places You gave me a hand to guide me, an incredible starlit sky, a dry path and a sweet friend to share the walk with, just like the path we were on is how You lead me - out of the darkness into the light.
spent 3 hours on emails in san carlos today. danny & i left san carlos at 4 and got to santa cecelia @ 6:20 and it was pitch black for most of the way. there had been torrential rains in san carlos but it was a beautiful clear night walking home. although it was pitch black in places You gave me a hand to guide me, an incredible starlit sky, a dry path and a sweet friend to share the walk with, just like the path we were on is how You lead me - out of the darkness into the light.
Friday, October 08, 2004
me
i know it's not about me but in this case i just wanted to let you all know that i am very well and very happy and i love you all.
forgiveness
date 04.10.08
i am overwhelmed by these feelings that i can't explain. god is trying to tell me something that i'm struggling to keep a lid on as i leave amparo on the bus. and now sitting in san carlos by myself having coffee i struggle to keep it together. thoughts of memories... fogiveness... letting go... have been haunting me all morning. i know what he's trying to tell me - it's just that these public places are so public. have i come to costa rica to face my past. i realize something i haven't forgiven or let go of. right now a dark space where i can hide and let go sounds so inviting but god isn't found in the dark and thankfully he won't let me go there or let me stay there when i do.
how many of us are unable or unwilling to face our past, never mind let go of it. i didn't think i had anything to let go of but apparently i do.
i know i am forgiven, i thought i had forgiven someone.
do certain events in our lives hurt us so deeply that we bury them subconsciously so we can get on with living. i have known such incredible joy in loving and being loved by my heavenly father that i'm blown away that my past has resurfaced causing such anguish. i have asked god to help me let go of anything that might be between us. careful what you ask for. god does answer prayer.
is he freeing me from my past so he can bless me with the desire of my heart so i can love unconditionally?
i am overwhelmed by these feelings that i can't explain. god is trying to tell me something that i'm struggling to keep a lid on as i leave amparo on the bus. and now sitting in san carlos by myself having coffee i struggle to keep it together. thoughts of memories... fogiveness... letting go... have been haunting me all morning. i know what he's trying to tell me - it's just that these public places are so public. have i come to costa rica to face my past. i realize something i haven't forgiven or let go of. right now a dark space where i can hide and let go sounds so inviting but god isn't found in the dark and thankfully he won't let me go there or let me stay there when i do.
how many of us are unable or unwilling to face our past, never mind let go of it. i didn't think i had anything to let go of but apparently i do.
i know i am forgiven, i thought i had forgiven someone.
do certain events in our lives hurt us so deeply that we bury them subconsciously so we can get on with living. i have known such incredible joy in loving and being loved by my heavenly father that i'm blown away that my past has resurfaced causing such anguish. i have asked god to help me let go of anything that might be between us. careful what you ask for. god does answer prayer.
is he freeing me from my past so he can bless me with the desire of my heart so i can love unconditionally?
testing...
date 04.09.30
while i was checking in at the airport there were a few problems getting my ticket. i wondered aloud to scott and sushi if this year would be a test for me. whatever happens i know that god will be with me. i just ask that he will transform me into the woman of god that he wants me to be and that he will use me according to his will.
while i was checking in at the airport there were a few problems getting my ticket. i wondered aloud to scott and sushi if this year would be a test for me. whatever happens i know that god will be with me. i just ask that he will transform me into the woman of god that he wants me to be and that he will use me according to his will.
amazing love
date 04.10.07
wow! what a ride that was. extreme low to extreme high.
i needed to block out tica's screams and as i tried to get a cd without being seen the case just happened (?) to be open at the perfect english christian cd. i cranked it as loud as my ears could stand and i went from agonizing moments of suffering to incredible joy as god took me in his arms and loved me.
wow! what a ride that was. extreme low to extreme high.
i needed to block out tica's screams and as i tried to get a cd without being seen the case just happened (?) to be open at the perfect english christian cd. i cranked it as loud as my ears could stand and i went from agonizing moments of suffering to incredible joy as god took me in his arms and loved me.
raped
date 04.10.07
lord help me please. i hurt for tica. i feel like she is being raped as all the men stand around and watch. one day they praise rinti for protecting tica, today he's in trouble for chasing away the male they brought to mate tica. she's crying and crying and i think just hold stilland get it over with, you can't fight it. i don't understand these emotions i'm feeling right now but i am consumed by them. i don't know why it's bothering me so much - i've seen dogs mate before. father please make her stop crying. make it end.
i know my heavenly father who loves me will comfort me and give me peace but i can't help wishing i could be comforted by someone in whose arms i feel safe.
lord help me please. i hurt for tica. i feel like she is being raped as all the men stand around and watch. one day they praise rinti for protecting tica, today he's in trouble for chasing away the male they brought to mate tica. she's crying and crying and i think just hold stilland get it over with, you can't fight it. i don't understand these emotions i'm feeling right now but i am consumed by them. i don't know why it's bothering me so much - i've seen dogs mate before. father please make her stop crying. make it end.
i know my heavenly father who loves me will comfort me and give me peace but i can't help wishing i could be comforted by someone in whose arms i feel safe.
into the light
date 04.10.06
this morning, as in mornings past over the past 1 1/2 years, i woke feeling the ugliness of this world and i despaired and wanted not to be here. it was only by asking god for his strength, wherein lies my joy, that i was able to overcome the feeling of oppresion that weighed heavily on my mind. no matter how weak i am that i feel i will stay in the darkness i have learned that god will lead me into the light every time i call on his name.
this morning, as in mornings past over the past 1 1/2 years, i woke feeling the ugliness of this world and i despaired and wanted not to be here. it was only by asking god for his strength, wherein lies my joy, that i was able to overcome the feeling of oppresion that weighed heavily on my mind. no matter how weak i am that i feel i will stay in the darkness i have learned that god will lead me into the light every time i call on his name.
critters
date 04.10.05
the mosquitoes aren't too bad right now, tica is in heat so she is tied up to the house so her presence is keeping the rats away, the cockroaches don't bother me although i'd freak if one jumped on me, the gheckos are absolutely everywhere and when one moves i don't look too close in case it could be a spider instead.
the mosquitoes aren't too bad right now, tica is in heat so she is tied up to the house so her presence is keeping the rats away, the cockroaches don't bother me although i'd freak if one jumped on me, the gheckos are absolutely everywhere and when one moves i don't look too close in case it could be a spider instead.
a typical day
date 04.10.05
the boys get up at 5:00 to get ready for school. jose, chico and i get up anywhere between 8 and 9. the first thing i do is have coffee. the washing machine is almost always already going and goes continually until we go to bed. i cook various meals for various people at various times throughout the day. i never know when someone will come home and want food. if i'm not cooking, i'm doing dishes or laundry. once the laundry is done you hang it on the line outside and take it in when it rains, and this happens off and on several times throughout the day. if there is room you hang the clothes on the lines in one of the bedrooms. with the heat and the humidity it's like living in a sauna. when the boys get home from school i wash their uniforms and before they go to bed each one irons their own uniform and polishes their own shoes.
in august i was able to spend a couple of hours each day reading but the music in the house this week has been full volume i'm sure making it very difficult to concentrate on reading.
church is every tuesday, thursday, saturday and sunday. it's not at all like nh so i will definitely miss nh. everyone prays out loud at the same time.
i talk to god all throughout the day, he is my constant companion, but i come into my room each day to pray and the family understands my need to worship in private.
jose and danny say i am like their 2nd mom. they are all so very sweet to me. who would've thought that after all these years on my own i would actually enjoy all this cooking and cleaning, etc.
the boys get up at 5:00 to get ready for school. jose, chico and i get up anywhere between 8 and 9. the first thing i do is have coffee. the washing machine is almost always already going and goes continually until we go to bed. i cook various meals for various people at various times throughout the day. i never know when someone will come home and want food. if i'm not cooking, i'm doing dishes or laundry. once the laundry is done you hang it on the line outside and take it in when it rains, and this happens off and on several times throughout the day. if there is room you hang the clothes on the lines in one of the bedrooms. with the heat and the humidity it's like living in a sauna. when the boys get home from school i wash their uniforms and before they go to bed each one irons their own uniform and polishes their own shoes.
in august i was able to spend a couple of hours each day reading but the music in the house this week has been full volume i'm sure making it very difficult to concentrate on reading.
church is every tuesday, thursday, saturday and sunday. it's not at all like nh so i will definitely miss nh. everyone prays out loud at the same time.
i talk to god all throughout the day, he is my constant companion, but i come into my room each day to pray and the family understands my need to worship in private.
jose and danny say i am like their 2nd mom. they are all so very sweet to me. who would've thought that after all these years on my own i would actually enjoy all this cooking and cleaning, etc.
los niños
date 04.10.05
yrlin and jeffrey came over today. i was so happy to see them. their mother showed up last month. the family says she is crazy. yrlin and jeffrey had been able to have a lunch at the school but their mother took them out and won't let them go back for lunch anymore. because they think she is crazy the teachers and the family are contacting the law to see if they will intervene. i don't know what that will mean for josefa and los niños so please pray for them.
update 04.10.07
mimi says yrlin and jeffrey are afraid of their mother because she is mean to them. when the family took them food the mom either sold it or gave it to her friends and los niños and josefa go hungry. patricio will take only enough food for 2 days they say but a bag of rice and a bag of beans is more than los niños can eat in 2 days, never mind all the other basic staples. please pray that god will provide a solution.
leo came over but he wouldn't come up to the house because he was afraid. he's never been out of his house. he is so sweet. he just sat out by the street and watched yrlin and jeffrey play marbles.
i've only been once because i wasn't sure how my presence would affect the mom and family.
yrlin and jeffrey came over today. i was so happy to see them. their mother showed up last month. the family says she is crazy. yrlin and jeffrey had been able to have a lunch at the school but their mother took them out and won't let them go back for lunch anymore. because they think she is crazy the teachers and the family are contacting the law to see if they will intervene. i don't know what that will mean for josefa and los niños so please pray for them.
update 04.10.07
mimi says yrlin and jeffrey are afraid of their mother because she is mean to them. when the family took them food the mom either sold it or gave it to her friends and los niños and josefa go hungry. patricio will take only enough food for 2 days they say but a bag of rice and a bag of beans is more than los niños can eat in 2 days, never mind all the other basic staples. please pray that god will provide a solution.
leo came over but he wouldn't come up to the house because he was afraid. he's never been out of his house. he is so sweet. he just sat out by the street and watched yrlin and jeffrey play marbles.
i've only been once because i wasn't sure how my presence would affect the mom and family.
spanish 10/5
date 04.10.05
danny is helping me learn spanish. he is very smart and will learn more english in the process but i haven't been in school for a very, very long time. this mind is cluttered and no longer sharp as a tack, if it ever was. i want so much to be fluent so i can talk to everyone and so i can visit people and venture out on my own.
danny is helping me learn spanish. he is very smart and will learn more english in the process but i haven't been in school for a very, very long time. this mind is cluttered and no longer sharp as a tack, if it ever was. i want so much to be fluent so i can talk to everyone and so i can visit people and venture out on my own.
costa rican coffee pot
date 04.10.05
one of the teachers made a coffee pot for when the team comes in march. it's like comparing a 6 cup pot to a 30 cup pot.
one of the teachers made a coffee pot for when the team comes in march. it's like comparing a 6 cup pot to a 30 cup pot.
going home
date 04.10.04
we all packed up and took a taxi to the bus station. mimi and danny stayed with all the luggage and jose and i went to see if we could buy a used monitor. we walked all over downtown san jose. there is so much poverty. we walked through a huge market. it reminded me of scenes on tv of a market in the orient, very narrow passage ways that turned here, there and everywhere. we found the internet cafe and as i wanted to send mail i was reminded of danny and mimi waiting for us at the bus stop.
you could feel the climate change the closer we got to home, hotter and more humid.
it has been a very busy week, excited to come, stressed to pack and move everything, sleepless nights, last night i fell in to bed - they had my room and bed all ready waiting for me and woke this am to chico calling my name.
it is good to be home. for as much as this is my home in costa rica my heart is with you all in canada.
we all packed up and took a taxi to the bus station. mimi and danny stayed with all the luggage and jose and i went to see if we could buy a used monitor. we walked all over downtown san jose. there is so much poverty. we walked through a huge market. it reminded me of scenes on tv of a market in the orient, very narrow passage ways that turned here, there and everywhere. we found the internet cafe and as i wanted to send mail i was reminded of danny and mimi waiting for us at the bus stop.
you could feel the climate change the closer we got to home, hotter and more humid.
it has been a very busy week, excited to come, stressed to pack and move everything, sleepless nights, last night i fell in to bed - they had my room and bed all ready waiting for me and woke this am to chico calling my name.
it is good to be home. for as much as this is my home in costa rica my heart is with you all in canada.
the day's not over yet
date 04.10.03
after the wedding jose, danny, eilyn and i went to see anaconda. sushi don't go. and i turned away when it showed the spider.
a very busy day.
after the wedding jose, danny, eilyn and i went to see anaconda. sushi don't go. and i turned away when it showed the spider.
a very busy day.
the wedding
date 04.10.03
after church rachel and her family and mimi left to prepare for the wedding. marcos, jose, danny, tony and i went to san jose. after lunch we went shopping at a 2nd hand store then to the mall to buy a tie for marcos for his wedding at 4:30. it's 4:15 and i'm saying we're going to be late and they all say no problem, it's costa rica, don't worry. then he still had to iron his clothes when we got home. again no problem.
last saturday i was at another wedding - today a costa rican wedding. SO-O very different. everyone would've been freaking out that the groom was late. no one worried about anything or time. in both cases everything was perfect but i wonder about the stress levels of everyone concernd at the 2 weddings. none in cr. i wonder how high for how many people for how long in canada. 2 totally different lifestyles.
after having a taste of one it's hard to go back to the other. such a simple laid back uncluttered life. yet home beckons as i think of a hot bath after freezing my buns off at the concert and i remember - no baths, no hot water and wonder how i will ever dry off being the 5th person using the same towel that's already soaking wet.
am i complaining? not a chance. merely pointing out simple things we take for granted.
after church rachel and her family and mimi left to prepare for the wedding. marcos, jose, danny, tony and i went to san jose. after lunch we went shopping at a 2nd hand store then to the mall to buy a tie for marcos for his wedding at 4:30. it's 4:15 and i'm saying we're going to be late and they all say no problem, it's costa rica, don't worry. then he still had to iron his clothes when we got home. again no problem.
last saturday i was at another wedding - today a costa rican wedding. SO-O very different. everyone would've been freaking out that the groom was late. no one worried about anything or time. in both cases everything was perfect but i wonder about the stress levels of everyone concernd at the 2 weddings. none in cr. i wonder how high for how many people for how long in canada. 2 totally different lifestyles.
after having a taste of one it's hard to go back to the other. such a simple laid back uncluttered life. yet home beckons as i think of a hot bath after freezing my buns off at the concert and i remember - no baths, no hot water and wonder how i will ever dry off being the 5th person using the same towel that's already soaking wet.
am i complaining? not a chance. merely pointing out simple things we take for granted.
people are dropping like flies - day two
date 04.10.03
today we went to marcos church. it was so cool. it was the closest i'll get to new heights in costa rica. i thought of corinne, suzy, rose and annette. they have a wide area between the pews and the stage and a couple of women came there to dance. as the music played men and women came up to this area. they were worshiping god and as they did so they were falling to the floor. i had never seen this live before and had questioned it's authenticity on tv. as i wondered how people would be so overcome as to pass right out i thought of letting go. with all the garbage in our lives that we hang on to that keeps us from rejoicing in an awesome intimate relationship with god, loneliness, fear, doubt, worry, guilt, pride, depression, drugs, alcohol, etc. all these 'things' that we hang on to that come between us and god. our complicated lives that prevent us from knowing, believing and accepting that we are precious beloved children of our creator. as i stood there watching all these people fall i wondered what i was hanging on to in my life that was keeping me from a closer relationsip with god. was it because they have nothing, they have nothing to hang on to so they fell. as i stood there it was like a dam burst and i was wracked with sobs and tears ran unabated down my cheeks 'letting go' whatever you're hanging on to - loneliness, fear, etc. let it go. if it's too hard to do on your own ask god - he'll help you. he will give you what you need and deliver you from what you don't need if only you ask him. if you're struggling with believing this to be true ask him to help your unbelief. why would he condemn his only son to horrific suffering if he didn't love you more than you could possibly comprehend. he wants to give you everything... love, joy... beyond anything you could possibly imagine.
thank you all my new heights family and friends for your love and prayers and support and encouragement. i couldn't have made it without you.
today we went to marcos church. it was so cool. it was the closest i'll get to new heights in costa rica. i thought of corinne, suzy, rose and annette. they have a wide area between the pews and the stage and a couple of women came there to dance. as the music played men and women came up to this area. they were worshiping god and as they did so they were falling to the floor. i had never seen this live before and had questioned it's authenticity on tv. as i wondered how people would be so overcome as to pass right out i thought of letting go. with all the garbage in our lives that we hang on to that keeps us from rejoicing in an awesome intimate relationship with god, loneliness, fear, doubt, worry, guilt, pride, depression, drugs, alcohol, etc. all these 'things' that we hang on to that come between us and god. our complicated lives that prevent us from knowing, believing and accepting that we are precious beloved children of our creator. as i stood there watching all these people fall i wondered what i was hanging on to in my life that was keeping me from a closer relationsip with god. was it because they have nothing, they have nothing to hang on to so they fell. as i stood there it was like a dam burst and i was wracked with sobs and tears ran unabated down my cheeks 'letting go' whatever you're hanging on to - loneliness, fear, etc. let it go. if it's too hard to do on your own ask god - he'll help you. he will give you what you need and deliver you from what you don't need if only you ask him. if you're struggling with believing this to be true ask him to help your unbelief. why would he condemn his only son to horrific suffering if he didn't love you more than you could possibly comprehend. he wants to give you everything... love, joy... beyond anything you could possibly imagine.
thank you all my new heights family and friends for your love and prayers and support and encouragement. i couldn't have made it without you.
people are dropping like flies
date 04.10.02
last night danny said we had to leave at 5:00 for a christian concert. when he woke me up at 3:15 i thought he was crazy but when 5 people have to shower and eat you have to get up early. everyone sits around and takes their time. having lived on my own for the last 13 years i can wake up 1/2 hour before i have to go and rush around and go. not here. no rush. ever.
standing in line with 19k other people at 07:30 it must've been 30 - 35 degrees. inside the stadium there were 4 first aid stations and every one of them were in constant use. i was surprised that so many people were being taken out. they were dropping like flies. i would have thought they would be used to the heat. i have never prayed for clouds but i did that day. the concert started at 10:00 and went til 4. but by 4 the weather had changed. from sweltering heat to torrential rain, thunder and lightning, right over our heads. no one moved. everyone yelled for more (vico c) and when he came out he must have felt sorry for us cuz he sang another 7 songs as we stood there soaking wet, freezing cold. it was awesome, even if i don't understand the language.
we went from SLAP (sweating like a pig) to FOBO (freezing our buns off) in a few hours.
last night danny said we had to leave at 5:00 for a christian concert. when he woke me up at 3:15 i thought he was crazy but when 5 people have to shower and eat you have to get up early. everyone sits around and takes their time. having lived on my own for the last 13 years i can wake up 1/2 hour before i have to go and rush around and go. not here. no rush. ever.
standing in line with 19k other people at 07:30 it must've been 30 - 35 degrees. inside the stadium there were 4 first aid stations and every one of them were in constant use. i was surprised that so many people were being taken out. they were dropping like flies. i would have thought they would be used to the heat. i have never prayed for clouds but i did that day. the concert started at 10:00 and went til 4. but by 4 the weather had changed. from sweltering heat to torrential rain, thunder and lightning, right over our heads. no one moved. everyone yelled for more (vico c) and when he came out he must have felt sorry for us cuz he sang another 7 songs as we stood there soaking wet, freezing cold. it was awesome, even if i don't understand the language.
we went from SLAP (sweating like a pig) to FOBO (freezing our buns off) in a few hours.
it's not about dancing
date 04.10.01
it's our expression of joy. today it was manifested in teaching tony how to roller skate. i gave my roller skates away 1 day and 2 days later i am roller skating in costa rica. that's why i never want to give anything away. you never know when you may need them. tony and i rented skates and marcos and jose walked with us. it was so much fun. i hadn't skated in so many years and it brought back so many memories, skating at the rink in birch bay when i was 12, first kiss, ferris wheel, etc. marcos went to work and jose and tony and i went to the mall and played at the arcade. i had never done that before. we had a very fun, busy day.
it's our expression of joy. today it was manifested in teaching tony how to roller skate. i gave my roller skates away 1 day and 2 days later i am roller skating in costa rica. that's why i never want to give anything away. you never know when you may need them. tony and i rented skates and marcos and jose walked with us. it was so much fun. i hadn't skated in so many years and it brought back so many memories, skating at the rink in birch bay when i was 12, first kiss, ferris wheel, etc. marcos went to work and jose and tony and i went to the mall and played at the arcade. i had never done that before. we had a very fun, busy day.
cast of characters
date 04.10.01
God
the family i live with although the first 3 children don't live at home anymore
father - patricio - local health inspector
mother - mimi - makes lunch for the local school
children - patricia & husband quique
- eilyn
- marcos * 25 - wife rachel, sons tony 5 and sebastian 9 months
- jose * 22 - girlfriend belsy 19 the boys
- jhonathan 19
- danny * 17
- mefi 15
- eitel 13
- chico adopted son 16
* speak english
josefa - the grandmother of three sweet little boys (los niños)
yrlin - 8
jeffrey - 6
leonardo - 3
mary - the mother of los niños has returned but there is a big problem
there is a very definite pecking order. younger siblings always defer to older ones.
God
the family i live with although the first 3 children don't live at home anymore
father - patricio - local health inspector
mother - mimi - makes lunch for the local school
children - patricia & husband quique
- eilyn
- marcos * 25 - wife rachel, sons tony 5 and sebastian 9 months
- jose * 22 - girlfriend belsy 19 the boys
- jhonathan 19
- danny * 17
- mefi 15
- eitel 13
- chico adopted son 16
* speak english
josefa - the grandmother of three sweet little boys (los niños)
yrlin - 8
jeffrey - 6
leonardo - 3
mary - the mother of los niños has returned but there is a big problem
there is a very definite pecking order. younger siblings always defer to older ones.
the journey begins
date - 04.10.01
jose picked me up and we spent the night at marcos house. getting out of the shower, still dripping wet, i had to pray. i knew i would need to ask god every day to give me what i would need to do his will. i asked for strength for whatever it is the would hae me do and thouht how the joy of the lord is my strength.
family and friends have questioned my sanity in the recent decisions i have made, believers and non-believers alike, others have questioned the 'rush' to leave. i returned for a month and had all along intended to leave the day after the subjects were removed on my house. they were removed, more or less on the 29th and after packing and moving most of my things, i bought a ticket about 8 hours before i left. i can't explain why i thouht i had to leave when i did. for me it wasn't a rush to leave town but only to let go of all the 'clutter' ? in my life.
i have felt a need to divest myself of material things since returning from cr in march. i had every card my daughter had ever given me as well as my grandchildren, every daily bread i had ever read, mortgage papers from every house i'd ever owned, etc. it's a sickness i'm sure although i don't know it's name. i would throw something out only to take it back. by being under the gun so to speak i had no time to take things back. it's the only way i could have done it.
i ran out of boxes and time although when i bought my ticket i thought i would be able to do all i needed to.
i'm sorry i didn't get to say goodbye to each one of you but you will be in my thoughts til i see you again.
i love you all.
jose picked me up and we spent the night at marcos house. getting out of the shower, still dripping wet, i had to pray. i knew i would need to ask god every day to give me what i would need to do his will. i asked for strength for whatever it is the would hae me do and thouht how the joy of the lord is my strength.
family and friends have questioned my sanity in the recent decisions i have made, believers and non-believers alike, others have questioned the 'rush' to leave. i returned for a month and had all along intended to leave the day after the subjects were removed on my house. they were removed, more or less on the 29th and after packing and moving most of my things, i bought a ticket about 8 hours before i left. i can't explain why i thouht i had to leave when i did. for me it wasn't a rush to leave town but only to let go of all the 'clutter' ? in my life.
i have felt a need to divest myself of material things since returning from cr in march. i had every card my daughter had ever given me as well as my grandchildren, every daily bread i had ever read, mortgage papers from every house i'd ever owned, etc. it's a sickness i'm sure although i don't know it's name. i would throw something out only to take it back. by being under the gun so to speak i had no time to take things back. it's the only way i could have done it.
i ran out of boxes and time although when i bought my ticket i thought i would be able to do all i needed to.
i'm sorry i didn't get to say goodbye to each one of you but you will be in my thoughts til i see you again.
i love you all.
was he an angel???
date 04.09.30
when i was boarding the plane to houston i noticed a hippy looking character getting a 2nd check from security. i didn't give him a 2nd thought until i found him seated beside me on the plane. i drifted off to sleep and when i woke i found a note on my table. it was psalm 37:40, a message - may the strength of god's love guide and protect you sister and psalm 40:8. i looked at this stranger and wondered if he was an angel. as we talked a christian stewardess joined us and the 3 of us talked about god all the way to houston. stephanie, the stew, told him she had thought he was an angel. as i recall he didn't answer either way. he was definitely an on fire christian though.
you just never know who you may be talking to.
when i was boarding the plane to houston i noticed a hippy looking character getting a 2nd check from security. i didn't give him a 2nd thought until i found him seated beside me on the plane. i drifted off to sleep and when i woke i found a note on my table. it was psalm 37:40, a message - may the strength of god's love guide and protect you sister and psalm 40:8. i looked at this stranger and wondered if he was an angel. as we talked a christian stewardess joined us and the 3 of us talked about god all the way to houston. stephanie, the stew, told him she had thought he was an angel. as i recall he didn't answer either way. he was definitely an on fire christian though.
you just never know who you may be talking to.
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