seeds

geronimo is the name of the missionary from africa that i met last weekend at church. he showed a short video where 2 men killed a woman. apparently she had seen a man without his spiritual mask so she had to be killed. the 2 men put a rope around her neck and walked in opposite directions and with a sharp snap of the rope they broke her neck. while her young son looked on. the next picture was one of a group of men, husband, brothers and sons. the mom was dead and there were no other women. when the son grew up he became a leader in the village and made changes. missionaries came to his village and he became a christian as did most of the people in his village.

geronimo said that when blood is spilled for Christ that a seed is planted. i wonder how many people who have lost someone dear to them have grown from those seeds. God did start us in a garden.

went dancing

yesterday they had dance classes at school. it was very nerve wracking at first cuz i have 2 left feet but it was a lot of fun. i have watched dany and jose dance together (they were showing me how it's done) and i have wanted to learn, although i don't know where i'd use it, but it was a blast. we were taking merengue, salsa and cumbio i think it was called. you also need a partner for it.

there are dance classes tuesdays and cooking classes and theatre nights wednesdays. going to the movies tonight. they're in english with spanish sub-titles.

pj's

can't believe i bought flannel pajamas. in costa rica!!!

i have been buying a few things lately. i have warmer clothes in amparo but not much here and it gets really cold here. thankfully they have a lot of 2nd hand stores here.

school costs

initially i only signed up for one week cuz i wasn't sure why i was coming here. it's great, i'm loving it and i've learned more in one week here than i have in the past year.

it ain't cheap but when i got the invoice today for the next 2 weeks. they had knocked off $100 saying because i was volunteering here for a year. bonus.

school

i have another teacher again today. we spent 2 hours this morning with me telling him about my relationship with God. he's a young practising catholic. i wasn't dishing catholicism but i told him that what i understood the difference to be between catholics and protestants (is that what i am?) was that when you ask Jesus into your heart and believe, that's it. there is no purgatory. we talked for 2 hours. it was kinda cool.

it was all in spanish so i guess i am learning something.

casting stones

oh no, i can't do that. i am not pure. i am not perfect. i have sinned and will again. only Jesus was without sin. only Jesus had the right to cast stones. but He didn't. He forgave us. and He tells us to do the same.

who do you need to forgive?

you may not like what someone does. neither does Jesus. but He loves them anyway. and He forgives them. and He tells us to do the same.

He tells us if we have something against our brothers to stop what we are doing and to make amends.

who do you need to forgive?

lies, deceit, immorality

ooh it sounds like the makings of a weekly tv series.

we all watch them. we lap them up like a sponge. the difference between christians and non-christians though is if this is how our lives are actually playing out the non-christians don't say anything cuz they don't give a --it. we christians however, are the first to criticize, judge, condemn.

i don't know about you but i am crushed in spirit when i have sinned and only when God has forgiven me is my spirit lifted.

if you know how you feel when God forgives you, when God has delivered you from the burden of guilt, how can you possibly condemn another brother in Christ.

we sinned yesterday, we sinned today and we will sin again tomorrow. God loves us and forgives us. He does not want us to be burdened with our guilt. that in itself is a sin. it's like saying we don't trust or believe that God has forgiven us.

eye witnesses

twice now i have been so confused by being so very tired. my eyes have played tricks on me by thinking i was seeing something that wasn't there. i had actually hallucinated and only when God reminded me about it did i believe the truth about seeing something else that wasn't there. and last night being so tired and getting the class time mixed up this am.

it makes me wonder about what eye witnesses see when they say they saw something happen.

so tired

wednesday night i did homework until 11.50. last night i did homework until 12.30 am. then i woke up at 5 to talk to God for an hour. i woke up again at 10 to 7. flew out of bed, had a quick shower, inhaled my breakfast and only drank 1/2 of my coffee. the lady of the house told me i didn-t have to run and i told her i was late, i couldn-t finish my coffee cuz i didn-t have time. i almost ran all the way to school, looking over my shoulder, hoping a taxi would go by so i wouldn't be too late.

i arrived at school at 7.45. there were no cars in the parking lot. there was hardly anyone in the offices, no one in the classrooms. i went back to the office to ask where everyone was. they said it's friday so no hurry. i wondered if this was a cultural thing i hadn't heard of yet. i sat in my classroom to study and a secretary walked by. she is from victoria so is fluent in english. i asked her if people started work late on fridays. she wondered why. as i was explaining because everyone was late she asked if i did not know the school hours.

lights go on. school starts at 8.00. i am so tired. i had been thinking school started at 7.30 and i was 15 minutes late. i am so used to getting up at 5.00 am.

it's no wonder people shake their head at me. the boys at home just say oh teri and laugh.

buses in downtown san jose

i have always been told, by my tico family, by my friends in canada, by the police here. it's not safe to walk alone, after dark in downtown san jose. i've done it a few nights in a row now. no fear, no worry.

last night i was leaving downtown at 8.00. i got on the bus (there are thousands of buses here) and asked if he was going to san joanquin de flores, where i'm staying right now. he said no so i had to get off the bus. i had to pay anyway cuz they have electronic sensors to make sure that the number of riders is matched by the amount of money submitted.

i have gone on a few bus rides that have taken me a bit out of my way but it's an opportunity to see a bit more of the city.

God's listening but He ain't talking

talked with God this am for an hour. i asked if He could tell me what He wanted people to hear and i would write it down. it would so much easier if i could just read something. but He's not saying. so i'll just go and see what He has to say saturday.

testimony

there may be a bit of confusion about the prayer request for my testimony. it's not to talk about me but about the people i have seen and places i have been to. about the poverty in costa rica. my teacher lives in the san jose area and said he was not aware of the living conditions as i described to him. children that are hungry because there is no food and no money to buy food. a grandmother with several grandchildren living in a bamboo house with dirt floors, no power, no doors, and torn black plastic for one wall that blows about with the wind. a cluster of 6 or 7 families sharing 1 water pipe because there is no money for everyone to pay for their own.

he hadn't seen or heard about the family i saw on tv at christmas that lived in squalor and darkness underground. with rats, excrement, garbage, no light.

his church wants to do missionary work. in el salvador, guatemala, honduras. he wants people in his church to hear that people in costa rica need help.

i want them to hear too.

susy help! come back!

blog spam

help! is there a way to block blog spam.

His presence

the following is taken from erin's blog and it is a perfect way to describe my day of soaring. maybe the scenery wasn't as incredibly beautiful as i saw it through my eyes. maybe it was just coloured with His presence. whispering in the wind. bubbling in the stream. greener greens. His invisible presence walking with me, touching my heart

But the most stunning thing of beauty was simply His presence. You know, sometimes when you're around someone you love, you're aware of their presence... but it's like they're sort of there but not. And then there's other times, when you FEEL their presence, when it is as if their gaze or their words or their being actually touches you. Actually brushes your skin. It was sort of like that.

And it was Beautiful.

thanks erin for helping me to describe the stunning beauty of my day.

thank you

i can't recount all the answered prayers but i thank each and every one of you for your prayers.

today i got news that my mom is in a new place and much happier.

i have a few other family members that need prayer and although you don't know the details we know that God does and He does answer prayers.

thanks again.

i love you all
teri

perceptions and lies

i was hurt by what i perceived to be a lie by someone i love. believing what i thought to be the truth i wondered how i could ever trust that person again. as i wondered how it would affect our relationship i thought of how much i love that person and how i did not want it to affect our relationship.

i was SO wrong. it wasn't that anyone told me anything, i thought i actually saw something happen and then was told something different than what i thought i had seen. what i perceived as the truth God revealed to me as a lie. when He opened my eyes (almost literally) i could hardly believe i was so easily led into believing the lie. i wonder how many of us do the same.

remember Jesus Christ is the Truth. satan is the enemy who would deceive us and have us believe the lies and cause division. broken hearts, broken relationships / friendships.

someone very dear to me told me today that they have experienced broken relationships/friendships from what i believe must be others lies. i couldn't believe it. are we so easily led astray by the enemy that we are willing to believe everything we hear. especially christians. are we not taking every thought captive to God. do you not question anything or do you just accept that it must be the truth.

we are just dumb sheep. but could we not at least question what we hear. even what we think we see. could we not talk to God about it.

as God revealed the truth to me i was so relieved. i could hardly believe that i had so willingly believed the enemies lies. i was putting more faith in the enemies lies than in the person i love.

how many of us have done the same thing with other people in our lives.

SOARING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sept 15. went for a walk today and what started as a very ordinary morning turned into an amazing day. one day last week i was walking home in my hurried cdn. walk with my headphones on listening to worship music. it was getting dark and i thought i was alone on the road so i was singing out loud. if you know me you know i can't carry a tune in a bucket. i felt somone's presence behind me and turned to see a woman close behind. i took my headphones off and explained that i was listening to christian music and although i couldn't sing i loved to. she said that explained why i always walked along smiling. however i had never worn my headphones walking and certainly never sang out loud before. she said she was walking to el gallito but she turned off before amparo. she said it was a different route.

i walked that route today. it was incredibly beautiful. to me. green trees, green fields of sugar cane, yuca, grass. i heard a sound and stopped to listen. it was God whispering through the trees. another sound - a bubbling brook. it so touched my heart it brought tears to my eyes. i wanted to just sit down in the dirt in the middle of the horse trail but i knew if i did i would've spent the day there and not accomplish what i had set out to do. i continued walking, sniffling away, trying to hold back tears.

i came to a fork in the road and took the high road even though it was a way less travelled. after awhile i wondered if i was lost and thought it wouldn't matter if i was cuz God knew where i was. i emerged on another road and came to a bridge. i heard God whispering through the bamboo and stopped to look at the creek below me. i watched as 2 cows walked over to the stream and i stood there eyes closed and was praying when i felt anothers presence. when i finished i turned and saw a man walking towards me. i thought i may have appeared a bit strange and continued on my way. weird as it was my previous sniffly, runny nose had stopped.

i had come out on the road to el gallito and as i appeared walking from the opposite direction the principal asked if i was lost. i haven't had such an amazing day in a very long time. and it's all in the company you keep and yet to others i appeared to be alone.

it was hot, humid and completely overcast and a most wonderful day. it was a day of thanksgiving. for everything, for sounds, for sights. a bird watched me and was chattering away excitedly. i was talking to it and thought if any one had seen me they would've thought me strange. but when i said moo to a cow i thought ok that is strange.

i heard God whispering in the wind in the trees, in the bubbling brook, gave thanks out loud as i walked along, talked to Him and spoke silent prayers standing in the middle of the road. and my heart soared.

i felt so much love for God i wanted to cup His face in my hands and kiss Him. then i wanted to put my arms around Him and squeeze the stuffing out of Him (that's what i do and say when i tell my grandchildren i love them so much.)

i can see that day in my heart.

religion in costa rica

today i was talking with a costa rican about catholicism in costa rica. it is a catholic country. religion is a class taught as frequently as math, science or social studies. it is a tradition that is passed down from generation to generation. people go to church, wear crufixes and they cross themselves. and i was told that children are hit if they read the bible. i have talked to friends here who are catholics. they go to church faithfully every week. but they never read the bible. they say they believe in God but they don-t have a relationship with Him. they don-t talk or pray to Him.

i brought the Jesus video for children and have shown it in a few schools. it was so cool to watch some of the kids faces as they stared so intently at the tv. they may have had several years of religious teaching but it was like their eyes were seeing Him for the first time.

i heard a missionary say that italy has some insanely low number of christians. like 3% of the country were christians. when i repeated this to someone they asked how could that be - the vatican is there. they are all catholics, they go to church.

but if the children here are being hit if they read the bible are they being raised to believe like the pharisees, being religious and nothing more?

back in class / need prayer

i've thought about going to school here which would be learning spanish full time all day every day. i pick up a few words here and there at home but it hasn't been enough. i need an actual teacher. and of course living with 2 boys (dany and jose) that speak english doesn't help. school isn't cheap though and is a long way from home so i'd have to live in san jose. if i'm only here for a few months should i? will i ever use it again? will i ever come back? is it worth the considerable expense? and then i'd maybe feel even more alone in a strange town, house.

i don't know.

i wrote the above to a friend and a week later i am in school.

why did i come this week when i had something to do every day this week? i would have been up and out of the house at 6.00 every day. why didn-t i at least wait one more week when i had finished all my work? i had no idea but apparently God did.

i arrived at the cpi school in san joaquin de flores (near heredia) monday at 11.30 and started class at 1.00. it was just the teacher and me. i was excited - i was finally going to learn how to speak spanish.

the next am i had a different teacher. we talked for awhile so the teacher could determine my level of proficiency. after awhile he told me he was a christian too and that he was not scheduled to work this week but had been called in the night before. he told me that there is a missionary from africa in his church this week and invited me to come to his church.

this morning we talked for 4 hours about my experiences here and the people i have met and the things i have done. classes are only 4 hours. then he told me i had to come to his church on saturday night to give my testimony. ah that would be no. i don-t speak in public. he said yes you have to. i said i wouldn-t know what to say. he said you have to tell the people what you just told me. i have always sat in the back row. i am a support person i don-t do up front. he said you will come and you will speak. hah (as in panic). i agree that what i told him needs to be told to other people but i am not a public speaker. i came to san jose after school and as i was thinking about it i was feeling the panic set in. my skin started crawling, it was creepy.

a friend sent me this after i told them about going to school - And it may be an investment into a future of missions for you... you could certainly lead groups to Spanish speaking countries...

well i-m not a leader either but this is so weird the way things are happening.

i am in excellent health but just the thought of standing up front to give a testimony makes my skin crawl, my heart pound, my hands shake. i haven-t a clue what to say. i can talk one on one with someone but he said he has a big church (like several hundred people) i wish i had recorded it so he could just play it.

please pray for me for the right words to say, to say what God wants people to hear, and the strength and courage to stand up and say them.

and also that i would learn more spanish. and remember it.

pouring ourselves out for God

read this in my utmost the other day. what does it mean to pour ourselves out for God? how do we do this? some days i think what i'm doing that day is pleasing to God. other days, like a few days lately, i just have to tell Him i can't do it, i just don't have it in me. and He seems to work with that, even when i can't make sense of it, He seems able to.

test

This is funny. YOU fill in the blanks about ME and send it back to
ME. But first send a blank one out to all your friends, including
me, so we can return the favor to you. Be honest -- they're really
SCARY to get back. It only takes a few minutes, so just do it!!!!
1st: Send (forward) this Survey to everyone you know to see how
well he or she knows you.
2nd:(reply) Fill this survey out about the person who sent it to
you and send it back to them.

Your name:

Where did we meet:

Take a stab at my middle name:

Do I believe in God:

How long have you known me:

Do I smoke:

What was your first impression of me upon meeting:

Color of my eyes:

Do I have any siblings:

What's one of my favorite things to do:

Do you remember one of the first things I said to you:

What's my favorite type of music:

What is the best feature about me:

Am I shy or outgoing:

Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:

What's your favorite memory of me:

Any special talents:

Would you consider me a friend:

If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:

If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is the one
thing would I bring?

a friend emailed me this and i sent it out to a few friends. it was fun to get the replies back so thought i'd share it with you.

feelings

i've been feeling down lately and was crying last night. dany asked me why i was crying (they don't do that here - everyone is tranquilo) and he told me not to cry. he doesn't understand and as i don't understand my feelings myself how can i explain them to the family. i don't know if it's as a result of the full moon that's coming or what but it's like i don't have a friend here i can talk to. i talk to dany or jose but they're boys and don't talk or listen like girls. and mimi and i talk but it's so stilted cuz i don't understand everything. i've been feeling very emotional lately and don't know why. i hope it's just the moon coming full and will pass soon. after talking to God on the way here on the bus i feel a little better. but He's like having a best friend that doesn't talk back with you. although He does give me the peace no one else could.

feeling lonely

feeling lonely in a houseful of people. i never saw news on the tsunami until a couple weeks later when i read about it on a church email. i didn't see news on the hurricane that hit new orleans, still haven't seen anything, only heard that it was bad. the boys watch some really bad japanese cartoons or futbol or music videos. i sometimes sit through the cartoons and i watch futbol with them but as for the videos, i find some of them disgusting so i end up reading alone in my bedroom. yesterday i decided i was going to watch the news and they ended up watching the cartoons in mimi's bedroom so again i sat alone. i'm really missing having a friend to talk to. to have real heart to hearts.

i feel less alone today walking about san carlos than i would if i was at home. so i'm taking my time about leaving and will end up walking home alone in the dark.

there has been so much rain lately it's been too wet to go to the garden (aerodrome) to spend quiet time alone with God and there is almost never any quiet home alone in the house. finally yesterday i could go for a walk but was eaten alive by the ants so didn't stay long, not long enough.

God's sense of humour

was feeling kinda bummed this am and decided i needed to get out of the house today. as i was walking to the highway i told God that if He was going to use me today He was going to have to do all the work cuz i just couldn't. i had walked a couple of kms talking to Him all the way and a car stopped to give me a ride. i don't usually get a ride unless i need one and as i had been enjoying talking to God i didn't think i needed one but got in anyway.

i got another marriage proposal from a guy i'd never met before. he was 23 and even when i told him my age he said age wasn't important, only love is important. that may be true but i told him he was too young. he reiterated only love was important, not age and i reminded him that i didn't even know him. so then i told him i was returning to canada in a few months and he said he would come with me. it was quite funny actually and we were both laughing. i told him if God wanted me to be married He would bring me a christian husband. he said he was a christian. then he asked if i wanted a canadian or a costa rican husband. i told him that wasn't important. then he asked me if i would marry a nica and i said yes if he was from God. a nica? his expression was like you gotta be kidding.

i went on to tell juan that it doesn't matter what nationality anyone is as we are all God's children and He loves each and everyone one of us the same.

for as much as i had thought God had a sense of humour, bringing me out of myself, i later thought He had been using me as i had told Him He would have to. so maybe i hadn't needed a ride but maybe juan needed to hear that we all are equal in the eyes of God.

answered prayers

every so often there is a story circulated about a guy that buys some milk and ends up going to a house and wondering why he's doing it. turns out the family has no money and the baby is hungry and needs milk.

yesterday while i was on the way to los chiles i decided to buy wiring for my family's house. the house is very old and the wiring is something else, to say the least it's pretty scary. there is no light in the living room and when i wanted to buy a fan for the living room, so they wouldn't burn raid mosquito coils under the chairs they were sitting on, i was told not to because the wiring was too bad.

i had no idea what to buy and asked the hardware store to phone the house and talk to the dad to find out what we needed. the price - the clerk wrote out the bill, i pulled out my money - it was exactly what i had.

i had just spent a lot of money going to panama for the weekend and even though it wasn't cheap it was just in my head to buy the wiring yesterday. for awhile now i had thought it might be something that next year's team could help with.

when i got home and showed it to mimi she showed me a box of receptacles patricio had bought last saturday, two days before i bought the wire. she said they had an unexpected deposit in their account and decided to buy the receptacles. she and later jose told me they had prayed about the wiring and asked God to provide what they could not afford.

i didn't know they had bought the receptacles and i didn't know before i left the house yesterday that i was going to buy the wiring. last night when patricio got home he told me he had been worried about the wiring causing a fire and he had wanted to replace it. they had gone to the bank to take out their last $15 and found they had a couple hundred. the walls in the boys bedrooms were literally rotted and falling off so they were able to put up new walls as well.

God works in mysterious ways and sometimes we just get thoughts and need to act on them.

bribes

had to bribe the border guards at panama. dany and i came on tica bus to see the costa rican national soccer team game vs panama. we had driven about half a km when the bus was stopped again by some official who said that dany's salvo conductor (temporary travel pass - he does not have a passport) had not been stamped by the customs at the border. he would have been sent back to costa rica so we had to pay $5.00 so he could stay on the bus. so right now he is in panama illegally.

please pray. not kidding.