soon we will be going back to canada. everyone to their respective homes. except me. i don-t have a home anymore. and i-m not sure how i feel about that. i have always had a place i could call my own. my own bed, my own kitchen, my own bathroom.
today i looked at beautiful art work, scenes of costa rica that i would decorate my home with, if i had one. if i ever have a home of my own again i will have more plants than i have had before, which was a lot. just to recreate the beautiful green space that surrounds me here. i would have tile floors instead of carpeting. i will have less clutter, less meaningless things.
i have always been a beach person but find that it has less appeal for me now. i feel changed but don-t understand it and can-t explain it.
leaving my family in amparo was hard. a tearjerker to say the least. as with every other time in the last six months that i struggled with something i talked to God. He gave me such peace. and as i played english worship music on the van cd player my tears of sadness were replaced with tears of joy in the love i have for my heavenly Father.
when i think of the past 6 months and all the times i-ve wondered why i was here, the ups and downs, should i stay or should i go. what has been the most important for me was that i came closer to God. He has been so awesome. He has taken such good care of me, He has given me everything i have needed. i had thought i had an amazing intimate relationship with God but it has grown deeper than i could have imagined.
have no idea what the next 7 months hold in store for me when i return to costa rica for another 6 months, never mind after that when i return to canada. maybe i will have a home, maybe i will have a bigger suitcase.
march 29, 2005 in touch magazine. don-t have it with me so it-s maybe not an exact quote but goes like - whatever You want Lord, wherever You want Lord, whenever You want Lord, the answer is yes.
4 comments:
I pray safety in your travel, Teri. Be blessed each day as you chase God passionately. You so rock!!!
you say that ypu d on't want clutter, but you also say that you want tons of plants. Don't you think the plants would clutter up the space quite a bit :-)
i have been very blessed but i-m just a screwup that loves God.
thanks for your prayers.
i take it you-re enjoying the couches at scott-s house.
the plants would make it feel like home. i-m sure heaven must be a beautiful garden.
It was great to see you (although really too briefly). Welcome back. I think I'll save the "welcome home" for when you land back in CR. Be blessed. Jen B.
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