Friday, August 19, 2005

speechless with sorrow

from my utmost 8/18 - it's referring to luke 18.22 and 23. the rich young ruler. that in itself doesn't bother me. but for me everything points to luke 14.26 and 33. God did tell me it was only for one year. i will have lived here with this family for over a year. they have become my family and i love them. i love all the boys, they are like sons i never had. i know we aren't supposed to have favourites but dany is my baby, maybe because he speaks english.

God asks us to yield to Him - everything. not just our material possessions but our relationships, anything or anyone of importance. He wants us to give that to Him. He wants us to surrender everything, every possession, every relationship to Him. we are everything to Him. He wants to be everything to us. i know i will leave here but i know i will be speechless with sorrow when i do. i am just thinking about it. but never for long as He keeps another of His promises - to be close to the broken hearted and He saves me once again. Psalm 34.18.

i can't explain it but when i sold my house, quit my job and left my family to come here it wasn't hard at all. for as much as i love my family it was easy to leave. maybe because i knew i'd be back. it's one thing to have a family that you see a few hours a week or a month or a year. it's quite another to actually feel like a loved member of a very close famly that you live wtih every day. this is where i really feel God is testing me. to see if i really will put Him first. i will.

will you?

1 comment:

Erin said...

I was challenged with this myself this week. Hardest thing I've ever done. Still not sure how it will shake out. But then there's that remaining issue of learning to trust God... You are farther down that road than I am.