i need to get out more

i've been told that a couple of times lately.

i'm single and i'm content in my singleness. i have been attending alpha and my table leader is another single lady. it came out in conversation that my last date was about 6 years ago. a fellow from church had asked me out and i told susan i thought it was more an opportunity for me to witness. after a movie we went to timmy's and that's just what it turned out to be. he told me i was glowing and i knew i was because i could feel it. i was talking about Jesus, my favourite subject. i guess my little light was really shining that night.

i lead a very dull boring life compared to most but i'm content.

i thought of my singleness and thought how if i am home alone all the time how can my light shine. it's ok for me cuz i'm content but what about people that aren't.

a friend told me someone had cancelled for the singles retreat at rockridge canyon last weekend and asked if i wanted to go in their place. i said sure i'd like to go - it's beautiful up there. i wasn't sure about going to a singles retreat though.

2 weeks ago i had gone to a singles night at church. the only reason i went was because it was a worship and praise night. i had been asked to go before but always said no saying i thought it would be like a meat market. sure enough the thing i most dreaded happened. there was myself and another woman at a large table and a man came over and sat down right beside me. there were 8 other places he could've taken. i felt like 'fresh meat' and decided right then and there i wouldn't go back.

when i was told about the singles retreat cancellation my friend said i needed to get out more. i had prayed about it and told God that if He wanted me to go He would have to provide because i had just paid for an alpha retreat 2 weeks before that and i couldn't afford another weekend away. there was also a conflict in dates. the dates got changed & i was given the space when someone cancelled. ok so i figured God wanted me to go. why? i'm not looking for a spouse - i'm content being single. i thought maybe it was to be an encouragement to someone which i guess is what it turned out to be.

tonight there is a singles bbq at church. the last scheduled event before summer. i had been debating whether i wanted to go or not. i had met several very nice people at the retreat, some of whom go to nv but it was as i was emailing a friend about her wedding that i had a twinge of something. so i thought what's the point of letting your light shine if there's no one around to see it. so i guess i'll go to the bbq.