people are dropping like flies - day two

date 04.10.03

today we went to marcos church. it was so cool. it was the closest i'll get to new heights in costa rica. i thought of corinne, suzy, rose and annette. they have a wide area between the pews and the stage and a couple of women came there to dance. as the music played men and women came up to this area. they were worshiping god and as they did so they were falling to the floor. i had never seen this live before and had questioned it's authenticity on tv. as i wondered how people would be so overcome as to pass right out i thought of letting go. with all the garbage in our lives that we hang on to that keeps us from rejoicing in an awesome intimate relationship with god, loneliness, fear, doubt, worry, guilt, pride, depression, drugs, alcohol, etc. all these 'things' that we hang on to that come between us and god. our complicated lives that prevent us from knowing, believing and accepting that we are precious beloved children of our creator. as i stood there watching all these people fall i wondered what i was hanging on to in my life that was keeping me from a closer relationsip with god. was it because they have nothing, they have nothing to hang on to so they fell. as i stood there it was like a dam burst and i was wracked with sobs and tears ran unabated down my cheeks 'letting go' whatever you're hanging on to - loneliness, fear, etc. let it go. if it's too hard to do on your own ask god - he'll help you. he will give you what you need and deliver you from what you don't need if only you ask him. if you're struggling with believing this to be true ask him to help your unbelief. why would he condemn his only son to horrific suffering if he didn't love you more than you could possibly comprehend. he wants to give you everything... love, joy... beyond anything you could possibly imagine.

thank you all my new heights family and friends for your love and prayers and support and encouragement. i couldn't have made it without you.